The Man In The Mirror
by Chipmunk2010
Summary: Bella, severely depressed and friendless after a traumatic incident with James, discovers an ancient mirror in their attic, and  Edward  trapped inside it by magic. They fall in love, but neither knows what dangers the future holds AH/AU
1. Chapter 1

**AN- this is a (Edward and Bella) romance, angst, and fantasy story. AU, and AH. There will be a mention of cutting in this chapter, though it's not detailed. Don't read this chapter if such content bothers you. Song for this chapter- Welcome to my life, by simple plan.**

**Disclaimer- Twilight doesn't belong to me, though I wish Robert Pattinson did.**

Bella POV

CHAPTER 1

I made my way down the hallway, clutching my books to my chest, trying to avoid the harsh stares of my fellow students.

My only hope was that I wouldn't see him. Not today. I just couldn't handle it today. But then again, on what day would I be able to handle it?

But I realized for the thousandth time in my life that hoping is a futile exercise. There he was, surrounded by people as usual, people who worshipped him. I tried to avoid his eyes, but their mocking gaze drew me in and paralyzed me, as usual. The best looking man I had ever seen in real life, James Thomas Dunfield.

For a second that felt like an eternity, his cold blue eyes held my gaze. In that second, I relived our entire history- I went back to the first day he had noticed me and the elation I had felt, to the day I ran out of his life, barely sane. It was a history that changed my whole life- the history that turned me from a barely known girl to the most popular girl and then the most hated girl in school in a mere week. A history that turned me into a shadow of my previous self.

After I managed to walk away without collapsing from his sight, I resumed my lonely walk down the hallway, out of the school and towards my home.

I had never had many friends, but I had used to have someone or other to talk with during the day, someone to walk with. No BFFs, but I convinced myself that I didn't need someone like that. But after the incident with James, I didn't even have the friends I used to have. Don't get me wrong- not everyone in school worshipped James, though he was liked by everyone except me. But there were people who would have talked with me, despite the fact that I was generally hated. I just couldn't find any energy within myself to try and make friends again- just couldn't face the idea of putting myself out there and risk being rejected.

When I got home, I stood for a while on the doorstep, staring at the familiar door, knowing the loneliness that awaited me inside. Not that there was any difference outside, but our new house was so big it felt like one of those haunted houses in a scary movie, sometimes. I sighed, turned the key in the lock, and went inside.

We hadn't moved a long way. This house was just three blocks away from our old one, where me and my Dad had lived for as long as I could remember. This house had been uninhabited for as long as I could remember, too. It's owner lived abroad, and she hadn't wanted to sell it for all this time. But she had suddenly stumbled into a financial difficulty, and we ended up buying it at a much cheaper price than it's real value.

We had moved in three weeks ago, but it still felt new to me. In all this time, the only room I had gone into was my one, and it was downstairs. After the James incident, I preferred staying in bed all day, staring at the ceiling. I was staying that way, when I heard the sound which normally made my blood turn into ice- someone was knocking at the door. I listened to the persistent knock in numb terror. I would recognize that knock anywhere, he was the only guy I knew who could make a simple knock sound mocking and terrifying. Knock, knock, knock. It was James.

I didn't open the door, but I could feel the beginnings of a panic attack. My breath came in nervous pants. I had been stupid enough to give him a key to my old house when we were a couple, but he didn't have any keys to this house. But I felt bile rising in my throat, thinking about the doors, windows and thousands of other ways inside this unfamiliar house- ways I didn't even know about.

Knock, knock, knock. The window in my room wasn't curtained, and if he walked to this part of the house, he would see me. I felt tears spill over my cheeks, as I stood up as quietly as I could, and ran upstairs, the ancient floor boards creaking as I went.

Knock, knock, knock. I felt like screaming as I ran further up- I didn't care where, I just wanted to stop hearing the knocks. For a long while, I didn't realize that I had stopped hearing the knocks long ago, simply because they were still reverberating in my head. Then I looked around me, trying to figure out where I was.

I was inside the attic of the old house, I realized as I switched on the light. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust, but I sat down on the floor, finally feeling safe. Then I dug my pen knife out of my pocket, and slit my left wrist. The cut wasn't too deep- just deep enough for me to ride the strange high that came with the dizzying pain. The fresh wound helped seal the one that was bleeding in my heart.

I lay on the floor for a long while, I don't know how long, and then I looked around me again. There were many objects, but I couldn't tell what they were, as they were all covered with cloths. But from my position on the ground, I could see two gold feet of something- maybe a mirror- that the cloth failed to cover. I summoned all my strength and stood up, willing the nausea to pass away.

I walked up to the first object that had managed to awaken my curiosity in two months, and pulled away the dusty cloth, covering my face. I still had to cough in the cloud of dust that rose up. I had been right, it was a mirror. But it was a mirror which didn't belong here- it belonged in some antique shop, with other valuable antique objects. It certainly wasn't fit to be hidden in a attic in some house, even a house as ancient as this one.

It was taller than me- a graceful oval, with engravings on it's golden sides. It looked regal, and I stared at my reflection, which looked oddly out of place in it. A thin, wild- eyed girl, holding her wounded arm. I looked at my eyes, shocked at the emptiness in them. But something even more shocking was about to occur. I screamed at the reflection of the man that suddenly appeared behind me.

**AN- This is my first fan fiction, so please don't be too harsh! But please review. I will only post a new chapter if people like this, and the only way for me to find that out is if you review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N- 2 alerts, 3 favs, 1 review. Well, I had decided to go on if even one person seemed to want me to, so here I am :-)****. Thank you to matena for reviewing, it meant a lot.**

**Disclaimer- Twilight belongs to me. Sue me.**

CHAPTER 2

I wheeled around to see… no one. I looked in the mirror again, and sure enough, I could see a man behind me in the mirror. I screamed again, and would have run away, but suddenly I blinked, and the reflection changed. Now it was only me, looking as pale as a ghost. Which was probably what I had seen. Or maybe it had been a trick of the light. I turned around to run anyway, to face the man himself.

I screamed again, and ran to the door, only to find out that I couldn't open it. "Oh God, tell me this is a nightmare!" I screamed as I tried to kick the door open. It didn't even budge.

"It won't open," the man said. Even in my panic, I couldn't help noticing how soothing the voice was- like velvet.

"Please calm down, ma'am- nothing can be achieved by your panic- you are not trapped here."

"No?" I asked him, now looking at him. For some strange and irrational reason, all my panic subsided with his words.

He was tall, over six feet, with a mess of copper colored locks, and mesmerizing green eyes. He was dressed in a coat with a high collar, like people did in the olden times, but he looked as though he was the same age as me.

"See that?" he said, pointing at my reflection in the mirror. "That's the real you. Right now, you're in the body of your reflection, that means you're inside the mirror, with me."

I just blinked. What was he saying? I would have pinched myself to check if this was a nightmare, but the pain in my wrist told me this was as real as it gets.

"How do I get back inside the real me, then?" I asked, as soon as I found my voice.

He looked confused. "I don't know, this has never happened before. Why don't you just try to go through the mirror?"

I did, feeling silly, but the mirror felt just as solid as ever.

"How did you get stuck in here?" I asked him. It felt creepy to feel him standing next to me, and yet not see him in the mirror.

"That is a very long story…"

I shrugged. "I don't seem to be able to go anywhere else, so…"

He gestured to the floor, and we both sat down across each other, cross legged. I couldn't help noticing that he kept looking at my pants in an odd way, like he was wondering what made me wear them.

"I'm Bella, by the way," I introduced myself.

"I'm Edward. Edward Cullen."

"So… go on…"

"Oh. Well, I was born in 1918, and I was living with my uncle. He was quite old, and…. Strange… are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Yes. What do you mean, strange?"

Edward frowned. "Well, he'd stay in his room alone for hours, doing strange things, and everybody in the village talked about him. I don't know what they said, and they never told me as I lived with him, but I know that no one ever made him angry. Because if they did… strange incidents happened… accidents. No one accused my uncle, but everyone suspected him. The rumor was that he was a magician. And I heard weird noises from behind his locked office room sometimes, like children crying, people screaming… this was our house, by the way.

One day, he called me to his room, and told me he was dying. I knew he was telling the truth by just looking at him. I offered to fetch the doctor, but he said it was useless. He asked me if I would do one final favor for him. I said yes, because he was my uncle, and he was dying.

This mirror was in his room, from ever since I could remember. He asked me to push it to the ground, and break it. I thought it was an odd request, and that maybe he was delirious. I didn't really want to, as there were all these myths about how breaking a mirror will bring you seven years of bad luck and all that. But I had said yes, so I did it.

As soon as I broke it, it shattered into a million pieces, and I blacked out for maybe a second. When I woke up, the mirror was whole again, and for a while, I thought I was staring at my reflection. But then my 'reflection' talked, and as he went on, I realized that this was my uncle. He had trapped the real me inside the mirror, and had taken over my body. His body had died, but he now had a 17 year old body.

He had been just inches away from discovering a potion for immortality when he "died", but he now he made it, right in front of me- he said it was a mixture of vampire venom and werewolf blood. He had to drink it yearly I think. He then drank it and became immortal. He took the mirror with me inside it upstairs to this attic, and covered me with a cloth. I've been covered ever since…"

I just stared at him. "I can't believe I'm hearing this…how did you- what did you do all these years?"

"Years? What's today's date? You see, when the mirror is covered, I don't really… exist, I think. Because I have no memory of that time."

"Today is the 11th of september, 2010."

For a second, he just stared at me, his emerald eyes wide in shock. After what seemed like ages, he finally spoke. "75 years… I've been in a mirror for 75 years…"

I patted his hand awkwardly, trying to make him feel better. It was soft. "What happened to your hand?" he suddenly asked, frowning, holding my wounded hand. At that moment, my eyes caught the eyes of my reflection, and I blinked.

It took me a few seconds to realize that I was back in my real body. My happiness was short lived as I read the loneliness written plainly on Edward's face, along with the relief that I wasn't trapped like him.

We couldn't talk to each other through the mirror, but I could hear Charlie downstairs. "I have to go," I told him, and he nodded sadly. "But I'll be back," I promised him. As I picked the cloth up to cover the mirror, he shook his head no, so I whispered a quick goodbye and left the attic. I don't know why I felt so bad at leaving him.

"Well, people don't exactly dress like that these days…"

I was back inside the mirror, talking to Edward. Charlie was watching T.V downstairs, and I was pretending to be in my room, doing home work. I just hoped he wouldn't try opening the door.

"You mean to say that all ladies dress like… you?" Edward asked, and I had to stifle a laugh at his shocked expression.

"Trust me, you'd be even more shocked if you see what most girls in my school wear…"

"You didn't tell me what happened to your hand," he said, lifting my sleeve and looking at the now bandaged wrist. A spark of electricity shot through me at his touch, and my heart was beating way too loud. I was wondering if he heard it too, when I realized why he looked so shocked.

I pulled back my hand, but it was too late. He had seen the scars- the old, white ones, the fairly recent red ones, all criss crossing each other, forming a grisly pattern.

"What- what have you done to yourself?" he asked, his voice breaking at the last word.

I stood up quickly. "I have to go now. My Dad might be looking for me-"

"Don't- Don't go. Please. I'm sorry, I won't ask again. Just please don't leave."

I nodded stiffly, and sat back down.

We were both silent for a long while, till he finally cleared his throat, and asked, "How old are you?"

"17."

We both fell back into silence. I knew it was my turn to ask something, but I was silent.

Edward spoke again. "You and your father… live alone here?"

"Yes."

_Now you're being rude, Bella_, I chastised myself. I tried to think of something to ask him, but only remembered his shocked face when he saw my scars. Did he think them disgusting? Did he think I was a lunatic?

It was him who broke the silence once again.

"What's your room?"

"The third one facing the dining room."

His face broke into a grin at this, and for a moment, I was struck speechless at how cute he looked. "That used to be my room," he informed me.

When I got up to leave, he asked, "When will you be back?"

"If I can get away without Dad knowing, I'll try to be here in the morning. But if not, I'll be here as soon as I get back from school tomorrow. My dad said he's going to go fishing with a friend and won't be back till late, so I can stay much longer than today."

He was quiet for a while, and then said, "I appreciate that you're willing to spend so much time with me, but I'd understand if you want to do otherwise, Bella. I know that you might want to be with your friends-"

"Oh, I don't have any friends."

As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how odd they sounded. I expected Edward to look at me like the freak I was, but I saw only concern in the emerald depths of his eyes.

I turned to leave, but he held my hand, holding me back.

"I don't know why you do it, Bella," he whispered, and I knew he was talking about my scars. "And I'm not going to ask. I'm sure you have a good reason to, and I can't stop you. All I can do is to ask you, please, please don't do it ever again. And you were wrong, Bella. You do have friends…. You have me."

**A.N- I don't want to sound like a person desperate for reviews (though I obviously am) but, I'm saying it again- please review. Also, tell me if the chapters should be longer or shorter, and what you think happened with Bella and James. **


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

**AN- I have no idea why the entire 2nd**** chapter became underlined, but I corrected it, and after this, I'll look at the uploaded document before adding it to the story. Thank you to matena, Jcam229, disney-movie-lover, YukiInu1, DrawnToTheNight, LovelyLovelyLovely, Princess Alara, one2love and hannah9page for reviewing… I love you guys! **

**Disclaimer- Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Edward belongs to me. I wish.**

I could see that Charlie noticed that I was happy. He didn't say anything, but I could see the light of relief in his eyes. I knew that my mood would change as soon as I got to school, so I tried my best to sneak into the attic before leaving, but I didn't get a chance to.

"You want to hang out with Jake while I go fishing with Billy today?" Charlie asked. Jake and I had been close as kids, but then he had become too busy with his friends and countless girl friends.

"No, I have lots of home work to do…" and an unbelievably hot guy in the attic to hang out with.

"Oh." Charlie looked disappointed, and I felt a bit guilty.

Once I got to school, I could see that something had happened. Everyone kept looking at me, and Victoria, Laurent, and the others who belonged to James's fan club wore smug smirks on their faces. I fought down my rising dread and sense of foreboding,

And walked down the hallway to reach my locker, when somebody bumped against me, and my books fell everywhere. It was James.

He smirked at me. "You should have opened the door that day," he whispered, pretending to pick my books up for me.

Rosalie came up to him. "Come on, James. You don't have to pick up her books after everything she put you through," she hissed loud enough for me, and everyone else, to hear.

James put on his innocent and angelic face. "It's okay, Rose. You go on."

Rose looked at him admiringly and lovingly, as though she couldn't believe how good he was, and stepped back, waiting for James to join her.

"You'll find a nice little present waiting for you at your locker", he whispered, while handing me the rest of the books, smiling sadly for the benefit of everyone watching.

"The best part is that I'm not even the one who did it. Maybe next time, you'll think again before deciding not to open the door."

I swallowed, while he walked away with Rosalie, and everyone around gave me dirty looks. I knew that it didn't really make that big a difference to James whether I opened the door next time or not. He loved scaring me about what he would do when I opened the door, as much as doing it. And one day, he would manage to open the door. And I could do nothing to stop it.

I froze when I saw my locker. Someone had spray painted the words "Lying whore" on it.

I felt my heart thudding loudly in my chest. Everyone was watching me, watching my reaction. I heard a few stray laughs at my expense. My palms sweaty, I blinked back my tears. No, I would not cry. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. I tried to open it, but got the combination wrong three times. I heard the crowd snickering at me. Finally, it opened. I half expected something else to insult me to be inside it, but it looked the same as always. I put my books inside, hung up my jacket, and took out my English lit. books. Then I closed it. Everyone was still watching, waiting for me to go to the girls toilet, to cry. I held my head up high, and went to the lit. classroom. I could see the disappointment in Victoria's eyes. I felt proud of myself.

As soon as the bell rang, I sneaked into the toilet, and locked myself in a cubicle. Only then did I succumb to my tears. I drew out the pen knife from my pocket, and pushed up my sleeve. But a velvety silk voice, saying please, please don't do it ever again, and a pair of imploring green eyes filled with genuine concern rose from within my memories. _What does he know?_ I asked myself. _He lives in a mirror_. With that thought, I realized that Edward might understand more than anyone else what it felt like to be betrayed and friendless.

But I needed this, needed the relief it brought me, the way the pain drowned out the pain in my heart. I slid the blade out, and prepared to do what I had been longing to do the entire lit. period, but the only thing I could think of was the disappointment I'd see in his eyes if he saw that I'd done it again.

I slid the blade back in, and shoved the knife in my pocket, frustrated. Then I buried my head in my hands and sobbed my heart out.

When I was leaving school, I met Jasper. I had been friends with him before the incident with James, though we had never been close.

"I heard about what was written on your locker," he told me. "It was really bad of them to do that."

"Thanks," I said. Jasper then quickly walked away. I had seen him in the crowd today morning- I knew he hadn't "heard" about it- he had seen it. But he had been too scared to tell anything in front of the others. Which was the same reason why he had waited till he caught me in an empty corridor till he talked to me. But at least he had talked, and that was a consolation,. even though I knew that he believed me to be a liar.

I opened the door of the attic to discover Edward playing a piano in the mirror. He stood up as soon as I came, blushing. I had to admit that he looked even cuter when he blushed. The old piano was one of the objects in the room that had been covered with a cloth.

"I didn't know you could play the piano," I commented as soon as I joined him inside the mirror.

"No, I- it's nothing, really, I'm not good-"

"Come on, Edward, you've got to show me!"

"No, I'm really not-"

"Please!"

He sighed. "Okay, then," he nodded, and sat down at the dusty bench. He motioned for me to sit with him, too.

He began playing an enchanting melody, and I was transported to a different world, a world where everything was beautiful and only Edward and I existed. And then the melody turned sad, so sad it moved me to tears, and then, it turned hopeful and happy once again. Then the song ended. I was speechless, not knowing how to praise such unbelievable talent.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I know it's not that good, but it's the first day I've played in 75 years, and the piano is really old, and-"

"Edward, it was amazing. You're so unbelievably talented…"

"Really? You really think so?"

"Of course! Is this your piano?"

He nodded.

"How come no one came into this attic, or sold this house before?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. My uncle must have arranged it. He must be still alive and 17." Then his expression changed.

"What is it?" I asked.

He shook his head, "No, I just thought that since all this is here, maybe my uncle's old documents are still in his old room. Maybe there's something in them about how to release me from this mirror…"

"I'll look," I promised him, and he told me which room had been his uncle's one. But when I started to go, he held me back, asking me to check it later.

He played another song for me, and showed an old trunk hidden in the attic, full of his old clothes, a book, and some portraits of his family- there was one of him with his uncle, who looked cruel and cunning, or maybe I just thought that because I knew about him. After a while, Edward asked, "Are you okay? Did something happen today?"

I was surprised. For someone I had met only yesterday, Edward knew me well. "Just had a bad day at school," I said quietly.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

He sighed, and put his finger under my chin, and gently pulled my face towards him. His eyes looked sad. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Bella. But I want you to know that if you want to, you can tell me anything."

I nodded, and swallowed the lump in my throat.

It was twilight when I came back from the attic. Charlie had already returned, and was looking for me. I told him that I had been exploring the house, which he seemed to like. He must have been glad that I finally seemed to be taking an interest in something other than lying in my bed and staring at the ceiling.

I helped him cook some fish, and after dinner, I went to Edward's uncle's old room. Charlie had used it as a store room, so it was hard to locate the old chest there, and the old bed, the only two things that had come with the house. The wooden chest was locked and there were no keys. The lock was old, and I realized that I would be able to break it open with a hammer or something, but I would have to wait till Charlie went to work tomorrow.

When I had changed into my shorts and t-shirt which acted as my pajamas, my Mom, Renee, called.

"Hi sweetheart!"

"Hi Mom…"

"I have good news for you!"

"What?"

"I'm coming to wish you a happy birthday."

I frowned. "What's the date today?"

"Oh, Bella! September 12th! Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday!"

"Well, technically, I didn't, because it's tomorrow," I said half heartedly. Like all friendless people, I didn't normally like birthdays all that much. And if Renee was here, she would wonder why I didn't get any presents from my friends, which would lead to the inevitable and truthful conclusion that I didn't have any friends.

That night, I lay awake for a long time, and heard the clock chime 12. "Happy birthday Bella," I whispered to myself. I closed my eyes and wished that somehow, I would be able to find a way to free Edward from that mirror.

As soon as I woke up, I checked my inbox for messages. Isn't it weird how no matter how unpopular you are, you always check your phone for messages on your birthday? It was as I had expected- I had no new messages.

I had woken up early enough for me to sneak upstairs and talk with Edward for a while. I was normally not a morning person, but I discovered that being with Edward turned me into one.

When I got back from school, Renee was already home to meet me. Charlie had given his present in the morning- a camera, and Renee gave me hers before we even got inside- an iphone. God knew who I'd call with that.

I liked it that my Mom was home, because I had missed her. But the bad part about it was that it made it impossible to go to Edward. She chatted nineteen to the dozen while I searched the house for a hammer. She didn't even ask what it was for. I waited till she went out for a while to visit an old friend, and then I broke open the lock of the chest. Excitement filled me as I realized that there were documents inside- strange documents, which had obviously belonged to Edward's uncle.

I stuck the documents inside my home work, and started running upstairs to explain to Edward that I wouldn't be able to come to talk today, but Renee came back at that moment.

I groaned inwardly, and listened to her talking, occasionally adding a few comments of my own. Then an old friend of Renee's- Mrs. Mallory, visited, and I was forced to stay in the hall while they chatted, even though I wasn't really involved in their conversation. I pretended to be listening to them, but I was looking at Edward's uncle's documents. I was hiding them in my lap, under the table, so the ladies wouldn't see. I now realized that these weren't any documents, or any explanations on how to use spells, but an old journal. The pages were jumbled and most pages were missing, but the fact that they were journal entries was obvious.

Renee and Mrs. Mallory were talking about how the Masons, an old acquaintance of theirs, was planning to move to Forks, when I found a paper that seemed to be related to Edward. It said-

-spell that I placed on the mirror will ascertain that if anyone discovers Edward, I will automatically become informed of it. But I needn't have done that, as I wrote in my last will and testament that I leave this house to my niece, Tanya Cullen, with the request that she never sell it, no matter what happens. If, by any chance, she does sell it, or if Edward is discovered in some other way, I will come back to the house and do the needful.

The mirror cannot be discovered or destroyed- I might need it some day. I will take what I need from the house, and go to live in another area, and then another one, 17 forever…

The entire town is helping make my funeral arrangements. Not because they like me, because they like Edward. I know what they say about me… they will all learn their lesson, and that day is not far away.

I can see my body in the casket, and for a moment I feel sad. That is who I was for 94 years… but my new body is strong and agile and, above all, young. I can hear Helen Smith and Jane William whisper to themselves about what a good thing it is that I'm dead- that this town won't be cursed anymore. I feel like laughing out loud. Dead! As though death can touch me, Tobias, who has defied all mortal-

The page ended there. Even though I read the other pages, they were all written before he had trapped Edward in the mirror. The way some were written made me realize that he had hated Edward, mostly due to the fact that people liked him while they hated his uncle.

I was alarmed at what I had read in that page- what if Edward's uncle- Tobias- came back and tried to destroy Edward? And maybe even me? I couldn't decide whether I should tell Edward about this, or not. Wouldn't it be worrying him about something he couldn't do anything about?

I waited that night till Charlie fell asleep- Renee had left already- so that I could go visit Edward. I didn't have to worry about falling asleep- I missed him too much for that.

When I opened the attic door, Edward stood up abruptly. He had been awake, sitting on the floor and staring at the door.

"Hey," I greeted him. "I thought you-"

"Why didn't you come today? Do you know how worried I was?"

I looked at his hurt face, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, my Mom came to visit, and-"

"You couldn't have told me that?"

"I… I'm sorry, Edward, I really am. I forgot to tell you in the morning, and I thought she wouldn't be here when I got home from school, but she was, and I couldn't manage to sneak up here, though I tried to…"

He sighed. "It's okay. It's just that I was worried." Then he smiled. "Why did she visit?"

"Well, uh, it's my birthday."

He looked dismayed. "And you didn't tell me that! Happy Birthday, Bella."

I grinned. "Thanks."

"What's the time?" he asked.

"11.45," I replied.

He was silent for a second, then asked me to turn around.

"What for?" I asked, confused.

"Turn around, and stay like that till I tell you," he said. I obeyed, even though the sounds behind me made me curious.

"Now look," he said, and I did. In his hands, he was holding a beautiful, leather bound book. It was an old copy of Wuthering Heights. I turned it's pages to discover that they were yellowed with age, at which Edward cringed. "It was the only thing I had that I could give, It's my favorite book, so I thought you might like it, I'm sorry that-"

"It's perfect, Edward," I whispered. The book was truly elegant, much more so than the bland paper back I had read in the school library. The best part was that I had been planning to buy it. No, scratch that, the best part was that it was Edward who had given it- that he, who had nothing, wanted to give me the one book he had to read while doing nothing else, before my birthday ended. The sentiment made tears fill my eyes.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, alarmed.

I shook my head, smiling through my tears. "Because you're so sweet… thank you."

He smiled his crooked smile, which melted my heart.

We decided to keep the book on the piano so that I'd be able to take it once I went back to my real body- I couldn't take it through the mirror. I was telling him how common divorce was these days (He had been curious about my parents), when he suddenly said, "I must seem really strange to you… really old fashioned… the way I talk, the way I dress…"

I grinned. "Yeah. But it's kind of-" I stopped myself before I said what I had been about to say, and blushed.

"What is it?" he asked, grinning at my blush. And then, so softly I almost thought that I had imagined it, he touched my cheek. Then he drew his hand back quickly, as though stunned at his own audacity. I tried to hide my disappointment by looking down. It was then that I noticed something different about him today- I had almost missed it in the dim light, but he had removed his coat, and was now only wearing his old fashioned, high collared white shirt. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and pulled down his stiff collar, and undid the top button.

"Better?" he asked, grinning. I laughed. "Yes."

It was true- he looked irresistible.

"I'm going to bring you jeans and a few t-shirts tomorrow," I told him. And a few pillows and a mattress, I added to myself. He had already explained that he didn't need to eat- or else I would have decided to bring food, too.

"You need to leave now," he reminded me. "You have to get some sleep, you have school tomorrow."

I nodded. I wondered if he wanted me to leave, but when I got up to leave, I could see a new, more desperate kind of sadness in his eyes. I didn't know what it meant. He stood up with me, and for a moment, we just stayed like that, facing each other in the dim light. Then I raised myself on my toes, and kissed him on the cheek, before going back into my real body, my face flaming.

**AN- disney-movie-lover, I made it longer this time. Princess Alara, no, that's not what happened with Bella and James, keep guessing! What do you think Bella almost said to Edward when he commented about how old fashioned he must be? Everyone who reads this, please review, you have no idea how much your reviews inspire me. As always, I'm open to the suggestions you make. **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN- I know this chapter is too short, and that I took too long to update… I'm sorry! Real life just became too demanding, and I didn't have enough time. Thank you to every one who reviewed, I love you all, you're the reason I keep writing. And again, sorry! **

**CHAPTER 4**

After what happened with James, I should have been the last person on Earth to want another relationship. But I couldn't deny to myself that whenever I was with Edward, which was most of the day, I wanted something… more.

Neither one of us had acknowledged my innocent kiss on his cheek. And was I the only one who could feel the electricity in the air when we were together? His influence over me was shocking. I mean, I had been addicted to cutting myself. But after one request from him, I quit.

I stared at my face in the mirror. I looked like the dictionary definition of plain. But I could try a bit more… I hadn't plucked my eyebrows in months, and my clothes were the ugliest ones I owned. All this was because I simply had stopped caring how I looked, and didn't want to draw attention to myself, but now I wished I had looked better when I went to the attic. First impressions were everything, and when he first saw me I had undoubtedly looked as ugly as hell. I sighed. There was no use crying over spilt milk, I decided, and dug the tweezers out of the top drawer of my dresser.

After plucking my eyebrows, I scrubbed my face, and applied some mascara and lip gloss. I even ironed my hair. After that, I put on my favorite casual blue blouse, along with a white skirt. I looked a bit better.

A few days earlier, I had dragged a mattress up to the attic, all by myself. It had been really tiring, but worth it, since now Edward didn't have to sleep on the floor. Most of my books, blankets, and pillows were also up there. I had given him 'modern' clothes as promised, too.

When I stepped into the mirror, he just stared at me for a while. I felt my cheeks flame. What if he didn't like it? What if he was secretly laughing at me for trying too hard? What if-

"You're even more beautiful than usual today, Bella," he said shyly. I didn't think it was possible, but my reflection showed me that I was blushing even harder.

Great. Now I looked like a tomato.

"Shall we sit down?" he asked, gesturing towards the mattress. I nodded nervously, and sat down facing him, our knees touching. Did I mention that he looked unbelievably gorgeous in normal clothes? So much so that my knees went weak when I saw him?

"How was your day?" he asked, looking at me through his lashes. I almost swooned, but managed to say, "fine. How was yours?"

At that, he launched into a description of a book of mine that he had read. I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying, I was too nervous. You see, I had a plan. I was going to tell him how I felt about him. I just couldn't hide it any longer. I knew that, compared to Edward, I looked like shit. But seriously, I was the only girl available for him, right? So there was a good chance that he would want something more, too.

"Bella? Earth to Bella," he said, waving a hand in front of me.

"Sorry," I muttered sheepishly.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing. I…"

The sunlight streaming into the attic from the tiny window threw his face into high relief, and my breath caught in my throat. How was it that he was so good looking? I would have felt this way about him no matter how he looked, and his looks just made him even more out of my league.

I looked at his full, raspberry colored lips, and when I looked at his eyes, they were the darkest green I had ever seen them to be. He was staring at my lips. I couldn't help it. I leaned forward, and pressed my lips to his. He gasped, and then I felt his tongue licking my lips, forcing them open- and then he stopped. He drew back, and stood up, his shoulders shaking slightly. I stood up too, shakily.

"Edward-"

"Bella, I'm so so sorry, I-"

"What are you saying sorry for? I'm the one who started it!"

He stared at the ground, and I looked at him for a while, and asked, dreading the answer, "Is it something to feel sorry about?"

He looked at me. "Bella, I…" but he didn't finish the sentence.

"Do you regret it?" I wished my voice didn't sound so shaky.

"Of course not, Bella, though I…"

"You what, Edward?"

He didn't say anything, and in the silence, I blurted out, "I like you, Edward."

"I like you too-"

"No!" argh, did boyfriends and girlfriends even exist in his time? But shouldn't the books I had given him make him realize-

"_Oh," _he said, and I saw realization dawning on his face. He looked stunned, and… and… sad. Why would he look sad? Unless…

"You mean you want me to be your… boyfriend?"

I nodded.

He took in a deep breath, and closed his eyes, as though he was in pain. "That can't happen, Bella," he said gently, though his voice broke. I just nodded, feeling my vision get blurry with tears. I wanted to ask why, but I didn't. I just nodded again, probably looking crazy. I sat down on the mattress, and he sat down on front of me. I looked at the ground, not daring to look up at him. Of course he wouldn't want me! How stupid could I get? No one wanted me, so how could someone as perfect as Edward want me? Maybe, if I hadn't looked so bad on the other days, if he had never seen my scars from cutting my self ( he must think that I'm crazy, not to mention how ugly the scars were), and maybe if I hadn't confessed that I had no friends… but all the maybe's in the world wouldn't change the situation now. I closed my eyes, and felt his hand on my knee, and I shook it away.

"I'm sorry, Bella-"

"Don't say sorry! You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Bella, it's just that-"

"Don't- just don't, Edward. You didn't do anything wrong, and you don't need to explain yourself to me, I understand. I just- this- your reaction- isn't even really unexpected, I just need to be alone for a while, okay?"

"But Bella-"

"Please."

He nodded, looking heartbroken. I just stared at my pale, tear streaked face in the mirror, and blinked. As soon as I was in my real body, I ran downstairs, sobbing. How could I have been so stupid? I threw away my tweezers, and traded my skirt and blouse for a huge T-shirt and baggy jeans. I jumped into bed, still sobbing my heart out.

**AN- monkeejunkee, I'm not going to tell you if you're right or wrong, you'll find out soon! LovelyLovelyLovely, hot isn't the exact word, but it's quite close! Princess Alara, you're not a bad guesser, 'cause you were really close ;-)… So what do you guys think? Why did Edward say no? Have any of you been the first to tell a guy you liked him? Do you think that's embarrassing? Please, please, please review! **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- sorry for the delay!**

**Chapter warning- cutting and raping will be mentioned, though the raping will not be given a detailed description. If you are sensitive to either, don't read this chapter. **

**CHAPTER 5**

'A while' turned into a day, and it had been three days now since I last saw Edward. I missed him like hell, but each time I went near the attic door, I couldn't bring myself to open it. You see, now I understood why Edward had looked so upset when he rejected me- it was because he pitied me. He pitied the ugly, self mutilating lunatic who actually thought she had a chance with Edward Cullen. And one more look at those emerald eyes filled with pity would embarrass me to death. Not just that, I would be reliving his rejection over and over again. But those weren't really the reasons I couldn't bring myself to open the door.

Now that he knew how I felt, I wasn't sure if I could stop myself from touching or kissing him, or telling him how much I adored him. Should have been easy, considering the fact that he rejected me, but it wasn't. And even if I didn't do or say anything, I was sure my face would reveal exactly what I was thinking, and that would be just as bad. And that was the real reason I avoided him. I don't think he minded. I mean, if I repulsed him so much that he wouldn't want to be with me even if I was the only girl available to him, surely he wouldn't mind my absence all that much.

But avoiding him didn't mean I avoided the attic door. In fact, all my time home was spent leaning on that closed door, sometimes trying to muster the courage to go inside because I missed him so much, sometimes just thinking about him, and sometimes just crying. I fell into the same state of depression that I had been in before I met Edward, the only two differences being that now I sat on the floor near the attic door instead of lying in bed, and this time, I didn't cut myself. Not that I didn't try to. The pen knife was still constantly in my pocket. But each time I tried, I'd remember his eyes when he pleaded with me not to do it, and I just couldn't. I hated that he had this effect on me.

School, that hell hole Charlie forced me to go to every morning, was just normal. Maybe I had more encounters with James, but in my zombie like state, I doubt I would even have noticed if he tried to strangle me. Needless to say that I didn't actually do any school work. Which makes me realize that my state of depression wass even worse than earlier, but that might be because I couldn't cut myself.

On the third day that I avoided Edward, I was sitting, leaning on the attic door as usual, when a familiar, but long unheard knock sounded on the door. A knock which made my blood turn to ice. Knock. Knock. Knock. James was here.

I was starting to hyperventilate, and my brain started screaming one thing repeatedly- cut! Cut! Cut! I felt like screaming to drown out the sound of the knock. I hastily drew the pen knife out of my pocket, slid out the blade, but Edward's pleading face filled my vision, and I nearly screamed in frustration. Edward. I needed Edward. The knocking resounding in my head, I opened the door, and stumbled to the attic. My eyes met a pair of green eyes that held surprise and a myriad of other emotions I was too panicked to identify. I drew my eyes to those of my reflection, and blinked. Then I threw myself at him, still trying not to hyperventilate.

"Bella! Bella what happened?" then his gentle fingers pried my face from his chest, towards his panicked face.

"Bella, calm down, breathe in! calm down, love, please breathe!"

I drew in a breath, and it felt good. I concentrated on breathing in and out, but the realization that he had called me love nearly made me stop breathing again. Once my breathing was back to normal, he asked again, "What happened?"

"James- James knocked."

"Who's James?"

I didn't answer, I just buried my head in his chest again. And he just held me tight, rocking me back and forth.

"It's Okay, Bella darling, it's okay. You're with me now, no one can hurt you…"

Needless to say, the only word that registered in my brain was darling.

After a while, we sat on the floor, me tucked between Edward's legs, his arms wrapped around me. I felt safe, happy, and contented, the last feelings I had expected myself to have when I came running into his arms a while earlier. Edward didn't ask anything about James or why I was upset again. It was probably because he thought that I wouldn't answer. I loved that about him- the way he accepted me completely, and didn't push me to reveal my secrets like my parents. And I realized that Edward had a right to know. As painful as the memories were, if I had to relive them with anyone, Edward was the best and only possible choice. I crept away from Edward, and sat cross legged on the floor, facing him.

"You asked me a question earlier. You asked me who James is. Do you still want me to answer?"

His green eyes searched mine. "Only if you want to give me the answer, Bella."

I nodded shakily. "I do."

We both just stayed that way for a few moments, his eyes looking soft and encouraging.

I then closed my eyes, and began my story.

"James Thomas Dunfield was the most popular guy in our school for as long as I could remember. He used to be our neighbor, when we lived in our old house. Our school is the only school in Forks except for the one in la push, but only Quileute's go there, so this pretty much resulted in us going to high school with the same set of people we went to kindergarten with. As was the norm in such situations, social status in our school was pretty much unchanging.

But this wasn't really the reason James was popular for so long…. He wasn't just your typical handsome jock, he was… perfect. He was nice and polite to every single person, sometimes even going out of his way to help others. His got the best grades, didn't believe in one night stands, he was the best looking guy in town, a quarterback… he was the complete package and more, and, needless to say, every girl in school was at least a bit in love with him, and every guy envied him, but wanted his as their friend too. Everybody loved James, from the principal to the janitor.

I was quiet as a kid, never the social butterfly. I never wanted to be, anyway, for any other reason than to impress James, whom I, along with every other female in school, was in love with.

I don't know when or how James started noticing me. I had been staring at him during lunch for as long as I could remember, but so did almost every other girl. But suddenly, he was staring at me too. And then one day, out of the blue, he asked me and my friends to sit with them. I was the one he talked to mostly during lunch, and soon after, we became a couple.

I became the most popular girl in school overnight, and every single person envied me. But that wasn't why I was the happiest I had ever been- it was because of James. He was the perfect boy friend, carrying my books for me, opening doors for me, calling me every single second we weren't together, fun to hang out with, affectionate and caring in every possible way. To say that he worshipped me would have been the truth. Everybody knew this. His friends told him not to love me so much, that he was going over board, but he didn't care, and he didn't change."

I paused and looked over at Edward. He was looking upset, and I wondered why. I hadn't even come to the bad part of the story yet. He asked quietly, "So… you loved James?"

I frowned. "I don't know. I thought I did, but I didn't really know the real him then… so I don't know. But we both said I love you to each other."

After a long pause where both of us collected our thoughts, I continued.

"We kissed and did a lot of other things, too, and he seemed to be content. I think we had been together for about two weeks when he first started pressing me to have sex. I wasn't ready for it, and I was a virgin, so I was a bit scared. And we hadn't been together for that long, so I thought it was out of the question. I didn't get mad at him for pressing me, though- he was perfect in every other way. He didn't change in other things. But the fourth day I refused to have sex, we had this huge fight, and when I still refused, he beat me up and raped me… four times. He laughed- he laughed while doing it, while I cried and begged him not to. His house is near the woods and he doesn't have many neighbors around, except us, and he parents were away and my Dad was at work… it was the perfect setting. He made sure not to beat my face and arms. I was too scared to tell anyone, but when he acted in school like nothing wrong had happened the next day, I dumped him then and there. But that was the stupidest thing I could have done.

James ran up to the top of the gym- the highest building in school, and stayed on the edge, telling he was going to jump because I didn't love him anymore, till Rosalie persuaded him to come down. Everyone thought he was suicidal because I had dumped him for no reason, and everyone thought I was this cruel heartless bitch, specially because he came after me publicly a lot of times, crying, and I ignored him. Everyone thought I had dated him just to be popular, and now that I had got that, I dumped him. Overnight, I became the most hated girl in town. Even my Dad told me I shouldn't have dumped him.

It hurt so much for weeks, and I bled for almost that long, too. But still, I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing- what if what James did wasn't that bad? I mean, it had been my duty to sexually satisfy him, right? I don't know. What if he really committed suicide because of me?

And then one day, when I was home alone, James came. When we were together, he had made himself a key to our house so that he could come whenever he wanted to- I thought that was normal boy friend behavior, by the way, and he used that to come. He beat me up and raped me again.

The next day, I could hardly move. I realized that I'll have to tell this to someone, or it would happen again. But I was still too scared to tell. I just persuaded my Dad to buy a new house. I just told that I thought our old one was too small. But the next day at lunch, Rosalie called me a bitch, and James became the good guy by defending me once again, and I just couldn't handle it. I screamed out the truth in front of the entire cafeteria- that James had raped me twice. Actually, it was seven times if I technically counted it, but I just said twice. I expected everyone to sympathize with me, but James looked so shocked, and started crying, and everyone sympathized with him. They all thought I was lying to be popular again. That day, James raped me again.

I began hating everyone and everything, including myself. I started cutting myself, first to distract myself from the pain there, and after that, it became my only relief. I started living for the times I could cut myself. I locked myself in my room till my Dad came home, with all the windows shut. James came into the house sometimes, but couldn't do anything to me, other than scare the shit out of me. After about a week, Dad bought this house, and we moved here. After that, he knocked on two days including today, but that's all he can do. It doesn't stop me from being scared, though- scared that he'll find some way to do it again. I don't think I can stop myself from going crazy if it happens again- specially now that I can't cut myself… I can't, Edward. It used to be my only happiness but now every time I try to do it I remember you asking me not to, and I just… can't. I still carry my pen knife in my pocket all the time, though. please give me permission to cut again, Edward, please just tell me I can do it again, please…_please_…"

I was sobbing now, desperately wanting to cut myself again just to forget what I had just relived- to forget every kiss and every touch and every punch and every painful thrust of him inside me, every word of love he had ever said, and every time he left me broken and bleeding.

And Edward was sobbing too, telling me that he was sorry I had to go through that, sorry he wasn't able to beat James up. For a while we just stayed like that, holding each other while we cried.

After a while, he said, "What you did wasn't wrong, Bella. It wasn't your duty to sexually satisfy him, and he is a sick pretentious pervert. And the students in your school are blind and prejudiced. Everything you did was right, and he deserves to die. Just don't feel bad about this now, love, you have to pull yourself out of this… you're so strong, Bella, and I know you can do it… and if cutting is what that takes, do it."

"Really?" I asked, feeling so relieved I felt almost giddy.

"Yes," he said, pulling the pen knife out of my pocket, and sliding the blade out of it. Then he wrapped my hand around it, then wrapped his own around mine. But instead of sliding it across my wrist, which I was expecting happily, he slid it across his own. I managed to stop him before he cut too much- but he had dug it deep, and I had been too shocked to react as quickly as I should have, and I gasped as I forcefully wrenched the knife out of his hand, and threw it away, and tore off a strip of my shirt to bandage his wrist.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" I asked, crying again as I watched his blood seeping quickly through the white cloth, feeling desperate.

"Why shouldn't I do it, Bella? You wanted to cut, and I can't let you cut yourself, so cut me! Do it again if you want to…"

I stared at him for a long while, watching his face, which had turned pale. "Doesn't it hurt?" I asked softly.

"Of course it does. But much, much less than knowing that you'll do it to yourself."

"I'm sorry," I whispered after a while. "I won't cut myself ever, ever again… oh God, I'm so sorry, Edward, I love you so much…"

And I wrapped my arms around him, kissing his forehead, not caring whether he reciprocated my feelings or not.

"You… do?" he asked quietly, sounding shocked.

"Yes, I love you," I said, honestly. I had never loved anyone more than I loved him, not even myself. And it even made me realize that what I had felt for James wasn't love.

"But I told you that I couldn't-"

"Yes, Edward, I know. But I still love you. Does it still hurt a lot?"

"Are you saying this because I cut myself-"

I pulled myself away from him. "Of course not! Do you think you asking me to stop cutting myself would make me stop if I didn't love you? Do you think I would have put my battered heart on the line like that if I didn't love you? Do you think I'd sit in front of the attic every day if I didn't love you? It was something I've been feeling for a long time, Edward, and I didn't even want to admit it to myself! It just slipped out of my mouth without me meaning it to! It was the very reason I didn't come for three whole days, I was just scared I'll show you how much I love you if I stayed with you!"

His beautiful green eyes were full of tears again. "I can't change my answer to your-"

"I don't expect you to."

We just stared at each other for a while, and he looked so vulnerable. "Bella, now that you said it, please don't stay away again, Bella, please. I can't handle you staying away without giving me a reason. I get so worried, not to mention lonely. I missed you so much, Bella. At least give me a warning this time, so that I won't worry…"

"I won't do it again, I promise."

Then I hugged him, and we stayed like that, holding each other.

**AN- I'm sorry that it's been so long, I've just been insanely busy with helping my cousin out with her uni project. It actually made me apprehensive about going to uni one day!**

**A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, matena, disney-movie-lover, one2love, monkeejunkee, LovelyLovelyLovely, Princess Alara, DrawnToTheNight, you have no idea how much I love you guys.**

**Princess Alara, I won't give up on this fic as long as I get even one review for a chapter, so don't worry. You said this is the only EdwardxBella fic you enjoy as of right now- you made my day! I love you so much, and thank you! I changed the date in chapter 2 to September 10, thank you so much for pointing that out. Can you please tell me the spelling mistakes so that I can correct them, too? You don't have to tell me the previous chapters ones, as you would have to read again, and that would be annoying, just the ones in this. I never read my chapters again before uploading them, and this might be because of that. And don't ever hesitate to comment on mistakes like that, I loved your review, and it was really helpful. Once again, thank you so much, and please review again! I just hope you haven't stopped reading this because I took so long to update.**

**LovelyLovelyLovely, thank you for sharing that… what do you think Bella should do abut what she found in his uncle's office. Should she tell Edward or not?**

**monkeejunkee, that's so sweet and romantic! I wish both you and your husband all the happiness in the world… and thank you so much for telling me I write it well. And you were right about what happened with Bella and James… **

**matena, one2love, and monkeejunkee, thank you for guessing, but I'm not going to tell you if you're right or wrong just now! **

**disney-movie-lover, thank you so much for saying that I'm an amazing author! **

**Everybody reading this, please review! Tell me what you think about James… or anything else you feel about this chapter, just please leave a review! All you silent readers, please review and tell me what you think and what I should change… anyway, sorry for such a long authors note!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer- I just realized I forgot to put this in the last chapter, and maybe even the one before that. So I just wanted to remind you that Bella, Charlie, Renee, Jake, Rosalie, Victoria, Laurent and James don't belong to me. Only Edward does.**

**AN-This chapter is dedicated to matena and Princess Alara for reviewing every single chapter- thank you and I love you guys! Also, thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter, love you all so much!**

**CHAPTER 6**

I was with Edward again. I had come up to the attic again as soon as Charlie fell asleep. I just couldn't stay away from him. Edward, I mean, not Charlie.

"There's something I need to tell you," I told Edward. We were sitting side by side with our backs against the wall, his right arm slung across my shoulder. We had been quiet so far, lost in our own thoughts, but at what I said, he drew his arm away and turned to face me. I sighed softly- I missed the physical contact.

"What is it?"

"I searched your uncle's old room to see if I could find any useful information, a few days ago. I found this bundle of loose papers- they seemed to be messed up pages from a journal of his. I read them all, but the only relevant page I could find was this." I handed him the crumpled piece of journal paper I had stuffed in my pocket earlier that night. He read it quietly, and stared into the distance, a worried look on his face.

"What does it mean?" I asked him. "Will he come here? But if he was going to, shouldn't he be here already?"

"I don't know, Bella. I just really hope that whatever spell he put has failed, or that he doesn't care about anyone finding out about me anymore. Can I have the rest of the journal pages anyway? Maybe I'd be able to find out something more, since I knew him."

I nodded. "I'll bring them the next time I come here. I'm sorry I took so long to tell you, It's just that there was a lot going on, and I guess I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily."

"That's fine, but the next time you find something, tell me, okay? I need to know."

"okay…"

"Shouldn't you sleep now? You have school tomorrow, right?"

"I'm not sleepy." And I don't want to leave you just yet.

He stood up and went over to the attic window. "It's a full moon night," he said, his voice sounding wistful. I walked up to him, and slipped my hand through his. "You okay?" I asked him softly.

"Yeah, I just… miss being outside, you know. I miss seeing nothing other than these four walls. If it weren't for you, I'd have gone insane by now."

I didn't say anything, because I couldn't think of anything to say. I can be stupid like that sometimes. We just stood there, gazing at the moon through the tiny window. The moon did look nice, but I couldn't think about it, what with us standing so close our shoulders brushed together. I might be wrong, but I was pretty sure that Edward wasn't moon gazing anymore, either. But then again, this was the guy who wouldn't want me even if I were the last girl on Earth, so he probably wouldn't feel the electricity permeating the room. Suddenly, we both turned towards each other at the same time. I could feel his nose brushing my hair, and he took in a deep breath. "Your hair smells really nice," he whispered huskily.

I didn't say anything. I felt like whatever I said would be drowned out by the sound of the beating of my own heart.

I looked up at him, and before I knew it, we were kissing. I couldn't even tell who had initiated the kiss- it happened so fast. And then it was over as quickly as it started, because Edward pulled away as usual. I hissed in frustration, and turned back towards the window. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said, sounding tortured.

"Sorry for what, Edward?" I asked, whirling around angrily. "Sorry because my kiss didn't meet your expectations? Sorry because you keep on giving mixed signals? Sorry because you don't feel the same way about me that I feel about you? Well, you don't have-"

"How could you even think that?"

"Think what?"

"That your kiss didn't meet my expectations, and that I don't love you! That kiss might be the shortest one in the history of Earth, Bella, but it exceeded my expectations and more! And about me loving you, it's so obvious that I thought you'd have realized it by now! I'm sorry I keep giving mixed signals, I don't mean to, but sometimes I just can't hide my feelings!"

"Feelings? What feelings? You don't have any feelings for me!"

"I don't? Bella, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life! the only reason I don't want to be your boyfriend is because I could never be a real boyfriend! How could I be, when I'm stuck in this mirror? I don't want to start something with you just for now, I want it to be something permanent! I want to be able to be a real boyfriend, and hopefully even husband and father to your children, Bella, but I can't do any of that! I can't go out with you, I can't do a job to support you, I can't- I can't even go and beat up that asshole James! If we start something, it'll be wrong in so many ways!"

I was silent for a while, trying to absorb everything he had said. He loved me. Edward Cullen loved me. Then I asked him quietly, in a would-be-calm voice, "I don't care, Edward. I want a future with you too, I don't want to start something just for the sake of starting it. But I don't care that you can't take me out, or get a job- I'll earn to support me- you don't need any supporting- and I don't want you to beat up James. I'll take this mirror along wherever I go, even if it's to another country, and, and we'll have a future. It's not exactly normal, but as long as it's with you, I don't care, because I know I'll never feel this way about anyone else."

He sighed heavily. "But I care, Bella. I care."

I let out a frustrated groan. "Don't you realize, Edward, that this is the only option you have? It's not like you can miraculously get out of this mirror! Having a relationship like that is the only way you can have a relationship, and isn't that better than nothing?"

"Of course it's better than nothing- it'll be heaven on earth, Bella. But what you don't get is that it's not the only option _you _have. It's not the only way that _you _can have a relationship. And if we start something like that, it'll be so unfair to you, Bella, you deserve so much more than that."

"But I don't want any more than that! You're the only one I want, Edward!"

He shook his head stubbornly. "You feel like that because you feel alone and friendless right now. But when you meet other guys, you'll realize that's not true. You'll fall in love again, Bella."

I was fighting back tears now. "What is that even supposed to mean, Edward? Is that why you love me? Because you're alone and stuck inside this mirror? Will it change if you meet other girls?"

"No, Bella. Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you," he said, looking at my eyes, and I knew he was telling the truth, but it frustrated me even more. "Then what is it supposed to mean? that I don't feel as strongly as you do?"

"Bella, I… I come from a different time, Bella. I'm not even sure I understand the world now. I come from a time when marriage proposals would be said before the I love you's, and divorce was unthinkable. I'm not saying that things have taken a turn for the worse- I realize that I love you's should come before proposals, and that divorce is a necessity, but I can't help thinking that things were a lot more serious when it came to love in my time, and that you would get over me because, that's just… more like what you're used to. That's why I said that, Bella, not because I don't think your feelings are strong. And it's not just that, I'm obviously old fashioned and I don't even know if I'm behaving appropriately sometimes. Not to mention the fact that I'm stuck in this mirror… why would someone as amazing as you fall for me?"

I shook my head, the tears slipping down my cheeks freely now.

"You're amazing to me, Edward. And I don't know why I fell in love with you, it just happened. And you should know that even before James, I wasn't the kind of girl who would risk rejection by asking someone out. But after him, I became the kind of girl who wouldn't even say yes if anyone asked me. The fact that I asked you to be my boyfriend, fully expecting rejection, and that even after you rejected me, I told you I loved you- well, it means something, Edward.

I can't guarantee that everything will be perfect if we're together, because I know it won't. I know that I'll never want and love any man the way I want and love you, but there's no way I can make you believe that. But you do have to believe that here and now, I love you and want you despite everything. You have to realize that by not being with me, you're being more unfair to me than being with me would be, because you're preventing me from being with the man I love. It's even more unfair because you love me too."

We were both quiet for a while, and I walked back to the window, turning my back towards him.

"I wasn't ever going to admit how I felt about you, it just slipped out," he admitted.

"That just hurts even more, Edward."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, I just thought it would be unfair to you if we got together. And I thought that me hiding my feelings would make it easier. I would have told you if you asked me point blank, but I know you never would have. You see, I felt that way before you even told me you liked me. I guess I thought I was protecting you from myself, in some weird way. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry for not telling you."

"Does this mean that you've changed your mind about us being together?" I asked hopefully. _Don't hope_, I told myself. _You know what a stupid thing hope is._

"I don't know," he admitted. "After everything that you said, I realize that maybe I was wrong. Maybe. I don't know."

I sighed. But at least an I don't know was better than a no, any day.

I turned towards him, to see him run his hands through his messy auburn hair, frustrated.

"Edward," I started, needing to convince him, "Every time I'm with you but I can't touch you or kiss you or tell you how much I love you or hear you say it back just kills me, Edward. But I can't stop coming not only because I need you too much to stop, but you need me too. I feel like I'm holding myself back with the one person I can be myself with, and it just hurts, not to mention how frustrating it is. And now, knowing that you feel the same way, it would be near impossible. Do you really think we can be the way we were before with all that tension? Putting ourselves through such torture would be unfair to us both, Edward."

He swallowed, and closed him eyes. "Are you sure that this is what you want?"

"Yes!"

He opened his gorgeous green eyes, and said, "Then I'm yours, for as long as you want me."

I didn't like the fact that he had said for as long as you want me, almost as though he was making sure I had an option out of it, as though he still believed that it might be unfair for me, but it was better than what I had expected. I smiled cautiously, and walked towards him. And he bent down and kissed me.

His tongue licked my lips and gently pushed into my mouth, and I rolled my own tongue around it, savoring his sweet taste. Then he sucked on my bottom lip, and my hands ran through his soft hair, tugging it while we kissed. We kissed that way, greedily, till we had to come up for breath.

"Wow," he said.

"Wow," I agreed. Then I giggled. I hadn't felt this happy in… well, ever. Looking at the broad grin on his sweet face, I could tell that he felt the same way.

"I love you so, so much," he told me, kissing my face over and over again while I laughed.

It all felt so unreal. I had honestly thought that I couldn't be that happy after what I had gone through. In that moment, watching the breaking dawn through the attic window, I realized that if the hell I had gone through was what brought me to this house and Edward, I would willingly live it all over again, just to be with him.

**AN- I'm not really happy with this chapter. It was hard to write it, and once I did, it wasn't satisfactory. Anyway, I really hope it's okay. **

**Please review, and tell me how you feel about Edward's reluctance. Was he being an idiot? Please review, it's my only inspiration- the more reviews I get, the better my writing. And tell me which ones of you want Edward in your mirror? I'd also love to know the meaning behind your names- they really intrigue me. As for me, I believe my personality is a bit like that of a chipmunk…**

**And the ones who were right about why Edward said no to Bella are… *playing loud fanfare* matena, monkeejunkee, and one2love! **

**LovelyLovelyLovely and monkeejunkee, so Bella told Edward about his uncle, though it didn't make much of a difference. Do you think he will come?**

**loyal-girl4, I think this chapter answered your question… thank you for reviewing!**

**Disney-movie-lover, it's funny that that happened to you… creepy, but still, funny, don't you think? Has something like that happened to anyone else out there?**

**Hannah9page and Robsten Lover 223, thank you so much for loving it! I love you! And matena, thanks for telling my writing is great!**

**Princess Alara, thank you so much for asking your sis to read this, and for telling me I have talent… I love you! I'm sure you're even better, the problem is that I haven't read Legend of Zelda, so I would be clueless if I read your stories. Please do a Twilight fic if you have the time to…**

**And thank you again to all of you who reviewed the last chapter! ****Please ****review this one too! I will love the people who review forever and ever!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer- All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot belongs to me. **

**CHAPTER 7**

I closed the door of my locker, and then leaned against it, smiling to myself. The hallway was empty as it was early morning- I must have been the first to come to school. This was because Charlie had had to leave to work early, and insisted on driving me to school. The locker door still read 'lying whore', but I couldn't care less. I was thinking back to today morning, and a certain green eyed angel.

It had been three days since Edward and I got together, and I could safely say that those three days had been the happiest in my life. I spent every single minute that Charlie was asleep or away in that mirror with my boyfriend. A broad grin spread across my face- Edward Cullen was my boyfriend! I felt like jumping up and down, even though it was three days old now- for me, it would never be old. I even slept with him at night- just sleeping, nothing else- I definitely wasn't ready for anything more after what happened with James. Not that I didn't trust Edward or anything- I knew beyond any doubt that he wasn't one bit like James, I just wasn't ready for that yet.

Edward was so loving, and I was so happy that even Charlie noticed. He was thrilled, though he didn't know the reason behind my joy. And I didn't feel the slightest bit depressed anymore. Yes, I was still sad that I didn't have any friends and that everyone thought I was a lying whore, but with Edward by my side, I could handle anything.

I had learnt to accept that I don't have any friends, and, as Edward told me two days earlier, it was their loss, not mine. I went to school, learnt what I was supposed to learn, and I was finally getting good grades. And it was all because of Edward. He did mention once in the past three days that I deserved a 'real' boyfriend, but it was only that once, and my glare of doom had silenced him effectively. One day, he would understand the truth- that he was what I deserved, and all I would ever want.

Yeah, it would have been beyond great if he had been a normal guy, and not some one stuck in a mirror( a reflection, as he once described himself), but still, I considered myself the luckiest girl in the world to have my Edward even as a reflection.

I had taken Tobias's (Edward's uncle) journal to Edward, but he hadn't been able to figure anything out either, no matter how much he tried. In the end, he had given up, and I had taken the pages back to the chest in Tobias's old room.

What was I telling you about? Ah, today morning. I had woken up beside him, and he was already awake, and was looking at me, smiling, adoration written all over his face.

"What are you hiding?" I asked, noting the way he kept his hands hidden behind his back. He just grinned, and said, "a beautiful Rose for the most beautiful girl in the world", and handed me a delicate paper Rose.

I had gasped, as I realized how beautiful it was, and how much time it must have taken him to make it.

"I love you!" I said, hugging him, almost knocking him over.

"I love you too, my Bella. Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it!"

He had laughed happily, his expression sweet and boyish. And then he had kissed me.

A kiss that make my knees turn into jell-o and reduced me into a silly giggling pile of mush every time I remembered it, which was all the time.

I heard footsteps, and realized that I wasn't the only person in school anymore. I wiped the silly grin off my face with an effort, and straightened up to see Rosalie. Not very long ago, this girl would have terrified me, but now I simply didn't care. I stared at my shoes, waiting for her to leave or to open her locker, but she did neither. She came and stood right in front of me, till I could see her shoes, too.

Great. She was going to make some more snide comments, and insult me. Well, I wouldn't take it meekly, staring at my feet. I lifted my eyes to look at her, and what I saw shocked me.

Up this close, she looked so different that I was surprised that I had recognized that she was Rosalie. Her usually glossy, impeccable blond curls hung in limp greasy strands. Instead of her usual trendy attire which accentuated her figure, she was dressed in baggy jeans and an over size T-shirt. Her face was pale, and her eyes were puffy and red rimmed. But what made her almost unrecognizable was none of these- it the look in her eyes. Normally, her icy blue eyes were sparkling- with hatred if she looked at me, but nevertheless, sparkling. But now, they just looked dead.

"Rosalie? Are you okay?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

For a while, she said nothing, and continued staring at me with those dead eyes. I berated myself for speaking- this was Rosalie, after all. I was wondering how to get myself out of this situation, and hoping that someone, anyone, would come, when she finally spoke.

"That's a lie," she said, her voice barely audible.

"Huh?" I asked, confused. "Wh- What's a lie? I didn't lie!"

She shook her head, and motioned towards my locker. After a confused moment, I realized that she was motioning towards what was written on the locker door- lying whore.

"That's a lie," she repeated.

"Wh- you- you think that's a lie?"

She nodded her head dully, her face expressionless. Then she said, "I know that's a lie. I believe you. And I- I'm sorry I didn't believe you earlier."

We both stared at each other again, her expressionless, me in shock. Then she turned and started walking away.

"Rosalie! Wait!" I shouted, and she turned back, but a group of kids came into the hallway, laughing and shouting, and I was struck speechless. When she started to leave again, I ran towards her and asked, "Why?"

"Why what?" she asked, dully.

"Why do you believe me now, all of a sudden?"

"No reason," she said, and before I could respond, she walked away.

I tried to concentrate on my lessons, but I just couldn't. I didn't believe when Rosalie said that she had no reason to believe me, and when lunch time rolled around and I saw that James was in the cafeteria without Rosalie, my doubts were confirmed. I was sure that James had had a fight with her- or maybe, James had even admitted to raping me, in a moment of drunkenness or something. Not that I had ever heard of James getting drunk… but whatever the reason was, I knew that it was something I needed to know. And as much as I hated her, I couldn't help worrying about her, what with that dead look she had had in her eyes. I gave up trying to eat my lunch, and decided to go looking for Rosalie. There were only two places she could be in- the library or the girls toilet. Since I doubted that the queen of popularity, Rosalie Hale, would even know where the library was, I tried the toilet first, but she wasn't there. Then I headed towards the library.

The library was the one place I loved in school- not many kids went there, and even if a few did, I could hide in a corner and read without being noticed as it was so huge. It felt like my own private sanctuary sometimes. I had almost given up on finding Rosalie there when I found her sitting on the floor, hidden by several tall book cases. She wasn't even pretending to read anything.

"Are you okay?" I asked her for the second time that day.

She just stared at me, eyes narrowed. She was crying, and I was thankful that she didn't look dead anymore.

"Why do you even care, Bella? After everything I said to you- why do you care?"

"Because that's just the way I am," I replied honestly, and sat down next to her on the floor.

"You don't need to tell me what happened if you don't want to, but can you at least tell me if James told you that he raped me, and whether you'll tell that to anybody-"

"No."

"No what? You won't tell anybody?" I had to admit that I was disappointed, even though it was what I had expected.

"No, he didn't tell me that," she said.

"Then why…" I trailed off, confused. Then I sighed.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me. But if you ever want to talk to anyone, I'm here."

She looked at me, tears falling down her wet cheeks.

"No," she whispered, "I'll tell you now. You want to know why I believe you, right?"

I nodded.

"It's because he raped me too."

I gaped at Rosalie in shock. But after the initial shock wore off, the only feeling that coursed through my veins was raw anger. How could that bastard ruin another girl's life like that? Were we the only ones he had done it to, or were there more? I wanted to go straight up to him and strangle him till he died. But once my vision stopped being clouded over with anger, I saw the sobbing, heart broken Rosalie in front of me, saw the same pain I had gone through reflected in her eyes, and I threw my arms around her, sobbing, while she sobbed into my shoulder.

We stayed that way, crying together, for a long time, till Rosalie finally spoke.

"I didn't believe you- if I did, none of this would have happened to me- and I was so mean to you… I don't deserve to be comforted by you like this…"

I shook my head, wiping her tears. "You did what you thought was right. You took your friend's side, and I can't blame you for that, I didn't even really know you…"

But at that, Rosalie broke into fresh sobs. "I was so cruel!" she wailed. "I was so- so jealous of you…"

"Jealous? Of me? But _why_?" I asked incredulously.

"Because James seemed to be so in love with you, and I had been in love with him since- since forever, and then suddenly you come out of nowhere and take him and become Miss popularity… I felt it was so unfair and I hated you because I was jealous of you. And when you and he broke up and you became so unpopular I was actually happy! I was sad because he was sad, but I was happy because you were out of his life… I was so stupid, so unreasonable, so cruel that I don't deserve your kindness now, Bella…"

I sighed. "What happened happened, Rosalie. It's no use crying over it. Lets forget it. Let's be friends now."

She smiled weakly through her tears, and said softly, "My friends call me Rose…"

"Okay, Rose. Now wipe your tears, and we'll go tell someone- preferably the principal, about what happened to you."

"_What?" _She gasped, looking shocked. "I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because- because I don't want-" she stopped, looking ashamed of herself.

"You don't want what, Rose?"

"I don't want what happened to you to happen to me… they won't believe me, he's too perfect, and we can't prove it, and I'll be an outcast too…"

If I said that didn't hurt, I would have been lying. But all I said was, "Rose, they'll believe us because both of us are telling the same story. What happened to me… happened because I was alone. But you're not alone, Rose, you have me, so-"

"No, Bella, you don't understand! You have nothing to risk, you have lost everything already! But I haven't, and I know for sure that if I say this, I will! I know I'm being unfair to you and selfish by not telling this, and I'm sorry, but that's just who I am, Bella, and if we're going to be friends, you'll have to accept that."

I looked at her blue eyes, and realized that what she said was the truth. I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath, and nodded.

We stayed like that for a while, side by side, till I realized we had missed two periods, and that we should get up. I stood up, and offered her my hand, saying, "Come on, Rose, I'll help you get up." And I silently vowed to help her get up- become her former self- in every possible way. She seemed to realize my silent vow as she accepted my hand, her blue eyes brimming with gratefulness.

We went towards the door of the library, holding hands, but when we went outside, I let go of her hand and walked far away from her. I knew that she wouldn't want to be seen in public with me.

"Bella? What's wrong?" she asked, and a few kids around us looked at her, shocked that the great Rosalie Hale would talk to the freak Bella Swan. I almost cringed in shame for her.

I walked up to her and whispered as discreetly as I could, "You don't have to talk to me in public, Rose, I know it'll make you unpopular, and I don't mind."

She just looked at me, incredulous.

"Bella, when I said I'm your friend, I meant it. And friends don't ignore each other in public, no matter what."

"But-"

"You're thinking I'd want to avoid you in public because of my decision not to tell anyone about James, right? Well, you see Bella, it's like this. I don't care about the friends I'll lose just because I become friends with you, Bella. Friends like that are worthless anyway. But I do care about the friends I'll lose if they think I'm lying… do you get it?"

"Not really, Rose, but whatever. But you have to understand that you don't have to do this. I really don't mind if you ignore me in public, actually I think it's the brainy thing to do-"

"Is that what you would have done if the situation was reversed?"

"No, but-"

"Then shut up, Bella. I'm your friend now, no matter what, okay?"

My eyes filled with tears again, as did hers. And we hugged, right there, where everyone could see. And we walked down the hallway towards our lockers, amid everybody's stares.

I realized that it felt great to have a real friend, after all these years. I just wished that the circumstances that had made me and Rose friends had been different. And then, I saw someone that made me stop in my tracks. A very familiar someone.

There, standing in the hallway of my school, smiling at me, was Edward Cullen.

**AN- Who can tell me how Edward managed to appear in Bella's school? **

**I'm glad that you guys seemed to think the last chapter was okay… **

**monkeejunkee, I don't know The Monkees that well, but I loved reading your review, because yours is one of the names I had been curious about… I'm glad you understood about Edward, I was a bit worried that people will think he was being an idiot… thanks for saying excellent work!**

**matena, I haven't really planned what will happen to James, glad to see that you hate him as much as I do, LOL! **

**Princess Alara, I really hope you publish your novel soon! Please tell me as soon as it's in bookshops, 'cause I definitely want to read it… can't blame your sis for using the name Everia, it's a really pretty name ****J****… thank you for saying I've improved and that I did a top notch job….**

**I've written a novel too, but I'm finding it really hard to find an agent to publish it ****L****… What can I say, I hate rejection letters. Is there anyone out there with the same experience? **

**LovelyLovelyLovely, thanks for saying it was a sweet chapter… about everything you said, I can't comment right now 'cause I would give away the plot if I did…**

**xxxLittle-Miss-Imoniexx and Robsten Lover 223, thank you for loving my story! I love you! **

**hannah9page, thank you for telling it's magnificent.. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and please review this too! Everybody else, too, please please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN- This chapter is dedicated to Princess Alara because she had her birthday last week- my belated wishes for a very happy birthday! I really did try to write this chapter sooner, but the past few days were insanely busy for me… sorry! **

**CHAPTER 8**

"Wow, that's one hot guy," Rose said, while I stood, frozen to the spot.

"Bella? Bella are you okay?"

No. No, I wasn't okay. Was this Tobias? But then, why was he smiling at me? Could this- could this really be my Edward? And now he was walking towards me. It had to be my Edward, but how did this happen? But my heart, fluttering like a bird's wing in my chest, told me that something was off.

"Bella, talk to me! Are you sick? You're as white as a sheet!"

But I couldn't talk to Rose, I couldn't find my voice. Edward was walking towards me, and he looked concerned. After what seemed like an eternity, he was standing in front of me.

"Are you okay?" his velvety voice was like music to my ears, and I felt like bursting into tears for sheer joy. He was out of the mirror! But still my heart kept feeling that something was off. I nodded mutely in answer to his question.

"You're Bella Swan, right?" he asked, smiling. My heart dropped to my shoes. This wasn't Edward, this was Tobias. I couldn't decide whether to lie to him about my name or not, but I needn't have worried, as he spoke again.

"Your Mom showed me tons of photos of you, other than the ones I saw in facebook, of course. I'm hoping you remember me… I'm Edward Masen. Call me Eddie."

Confused didn't even begin to cover what I was feeling. And that was when the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the next period.

"We have to get to class, Bella," Rose reminded me.

"You go, I'll come later," I told her. Class was the least of my concerns right now. Rose looked at Edward- or Tobias, or Eddie, or whoever he was- like she wondered whether he was going to ditch, too, but when he didn't say anything, she gave me a tiny parting smile and left. I discreetly looked at his left wrist. If he was, by any chance, my Edward, he would have the scar from cutting himself. But he didn't have that scar.

"Come here," I said, leading him to an empty class room. Only once we were inside did I realize that this wasn't a smart move, if he was Tobias. And who else could he be? He wasn't my Edward, and him being Tobias was the only other possibility. But now I was inside, and there really was nowhere else to go- the library would make it even easier for him if he was planning to kill me- so I crossed my arms in front of my chest, and asked him the first question that came to my mind- "How do you know my mother?"

"You don't realize who I am, do you," he said, groaning.

"Oh, I know exactly who you are. Now answer my question."

He gave me an odd look.

"Well, if you know who I am then why wouldn't you know how I know your Mom? We used to be her neighbors, till we moved to Forks two days ago. When I told Renee that I'm going to go to Forks High, she said she'll tell you, so there'll be someone I know."

"She did mention something about a family moving here…"

"She didn't mention anything about us? I mean, me, Alice, and Emmett?"

I just stared at him. "Who's Alice? Who's Emmett?"

"My brother and sister. We're all the same age."

"What are you, triplets?"

He grinned. "No, we were all adopted."

"Ah, adopted. That explains a lot," I muttered, more to myself than him, but he heard me.

"What does it explain?" he was looking confused now. He was pretending, of course. This was Tobias. And I couldn't let him know that I knew- if he didn't know that already. I felt sure he did, because if he didn't, why would he be talking to me right now?

"No- I- nothing. Well, my Mom might have mentioned it, and I might have forgotten," I said, trying to look friendly, and failing.

"So… shall we hang out today? I want to introduce you to Alice and Emmett… Alice is dying to meet you…"

"No, I've… got plans."

"Oh," he said, looking disappointed.

"Well, I… I've got to go to the library, so… bye…"

He nodded, saying bye, and looking still more disappointed. It was strange how he looked exactly like my Edward, strange how handsome and sweet he looked. I needed to stay away from him. I headed towards the library quickly, checking over my shoulder from time to time to see if he was following me. He wasn't.

I ran up to the attic as soon as I went home- I had the eerie fear that Edward might not be there. My heart in my throat, I opened the attic door, and was beyond relieved to see Edward's familiar face looking at me through the mirror. As soon as I was inside the mirror, I threw my arms around him, and buried my face in his chest.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"It's Tobias. He's moved here, he's coming to my school, he talked to me-"

"_What? _What- calm down, and explain everything, starting from the beginning."

So that was what I did, though I never really calmed down. How could I, when Edward was in danger?

Once I finished telling him everything, he paced up and down, his face pale and worried.

"Whatever you do," Edward told me, "don't let him realize that you know who he is, he might hurt you."

"But don't you think he already-"

"I don't think he really knows. He knows that someone has seen me because of the spell, but he doesn't really know it's you, even though he probably suspects you because you live here. It could be anyone- Charlie, or Renee, or even a friend who came to this house. What really amazes me, is how he got such a good cover- he even knows your Mom!"

"Maybe he was lying," I suggested lamely, even though I knew he wasn't, and Edward pointed it out as soon as I said it.

Then the two of us discussed Rose and James. Edward thought Rose was being stupid and that I should somehow convince her to tell everyone the truth. He said that it might not get James behind bars as we don't have sufficient proof, but that it would make everyone at school believe me.

I really didn't care about what the people at school thought about me anymore, but I did want everyone in school to know, because it would prevent the same thing happening to another innocent girl. But I also knew that Rose was very stubborn and that I wouldn't be able to convince her.

After discussing all there was to discuss, we both sat down, him pulling me up to his lap, and playing with my hair. I traced the lines on his hand and the scar on his wrist.

"I'm scared, Edward," I told him softly.

"I'm scared too, my love. But whatever happens, we'll get through it, okay? I know I can face anything if I have you."

I smiled, because I had thought something along those lines today morning, about him. He kissed the top of my head, burying his face in my hair, and I kissed his hand.

"I love you."

"I love you, my Bella," he said, kissing my neck.

We stayed that way a long time, till I realized that it was quite dark outside, and that Charlie must have come home long ago.

"I've got to go," I told him regretfully, standing up quickly. I couldn't help stopping for another second to kiss him after seeing the adorable pout his lips had turned into.

What I had thought would be a chaste kiss turned into something much, much better and I had to force myself to break away from Edward.

Once I was back in my real body, I gave Edward one lingering glance, then turned and opened the attic door to leave. Who I saw outside nearly made my heart stop. It was Tobias, aka Edward Masen.

**AN- I know, I know, the chapter is too short and it's yet another cliffie, but I'll write the next chapter as soon as possible…**

**The people who guessed that it was Tobias who showed up at Bella's school- sprazinko, AlleyjandroJacobie, disney-movie-lover, monkeejunkee, Princess Alara, matena… in other words, almost everyone. Thank you all for guessing! But will anyone be able to guess why he came to Bella's house, and if he will hurt Bella?**

**Robsten Lover 223, thank you for telling it's a great story… **

**Princess Alara, even I'm glad Bella finally has a friend… I actually like Rose. Doesn't anyone else?**

**You could never sound like a brat… sorry again that I couldn't update sooner… I'll definitely check your new fic out… **

**monkeejunkee, Edward agrees with you that Rose is being stupid… actually, I wrote this after reading your review and that was in my mind, so you're probably the reason Edward thinks she's stupid. I love the fact that you knew it the minute Bella saw Rose- yeah, James is a real S.O.B. By the way, you're really good at guessing! All your guesses were right so far ****J**

**TheAngelOfHope- yay, a new reviewer! (I love my old reviewers too, but the more the better!) thank you for telling me I'm a good writer, and for what you said about the rejection letters…**

**disney-movie-lover, more drama for you in this chapter…**

**MissVampireCullen, (yay, another new reviewer!) thank you for saying I wrote a wonderful story! **

**hannah9page, thank you for loving it! **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I love you all, you're my inspiration… please review this one too! And to everyone else, too, ****please ****review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer- I always forget this. Everyone except Tobias belongs to S. Meyer. She can have him too if she wants- I'll exchange him for Edward ;-)**

**This chapter is dedicated to monkeejunkee, for leaving long, lovely reviews regularly… I love you!**

CHAPTER 9

I instinctively whipped my head back to see if the mirror was visible from where we stood. It wasn't, but I closed the door, and my behavior didn't go unnoticed by Tobias.

"What are you hiding?" he asked, grinning cheekily, moving as though he was going to open the attic door. I stood in front of it. He'd have to kill me to get past me to Edward. I didn't have to pretend now anyway- he knew I was the one who had come into contact with Edward- it was obvious now.

"What is it, Bella? Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked. He should have gotten an Oscar for how innocent he looked.

What was he continuing his act for, now? We both knew everything. "I think it's high time you stopped your act, Tobias. We both know what you're here for. But if you think I'm going to let you hurt Edward, you're crazy. I'd kill you first."

His mouth dropped open, and he stood there, gaping at me, looking utterly confused and slightly foolish. Why didn't he stop acting?

"Bella, what are you talking about? _I'm _Edward! I'm here because Charlie invited us over, and I came upstairs because he asked me to come and see if you were here!"

"Yeah, right, Tobias."

"Tobias? Who's Tobias? I'm Edward!"

"Like hell you are! I know you just want to get in here, but you better leave now!"

"Bella, honey, what are saying? That's Edward!"

I turned towards the voice, to see Charlie on the staircase. Behind him stood a small-made pixie like girl with short, spiky black hair and big blue eyes, and a tall, muscular guy with short black hair and warm brown eyes. All three of them were looking at me as though I was crazy.

"We… heard you shouting, Bells," Charlie explained. "This is Alice and Emmett. And that's… he _is _Edward, Bella. I thought you met him at school today?"

"We did meet," Tobias confirmed, when he saw that I wasn't going to say anything.

"Then, what….?" Charlie didn't continue his question, just stood there, as though waiting for me to explain. I didn't say anything. I just wanted Tobias to get out of my house.

"Shall we, uh, go downstairs, then?" Charlie asked awkwardly. "I made lasagna for dinner."

All five of us trailed downstairs after him, me making sure that Tobias went before me.

Dinner was weird, what with Tobias glancing at me sideways from time to time, and Alice and Emmett exchanging odd looks. Charlie kept glancing at me, too, but tried to keep the conversation going, and Emmett gamely talked with him about the latest football match.

After dinner, I offered to wash the dishes, and Alice offered to dry them. Since the dishwasher was broken, I moved towards the sink, turning the tap on and pulling up my sleeves. It was when I heard Alice's sharp intake of breath behind me that I realized my mistake. I quickly pulled my sleeves down again, but one look at her face told me that the damage was done. She had seen my scars.

We worked quietly, side by side. I could tell that she was gathering courage to talk to me- she probably thought I was a nut case, and I didn't blame her. She finally cleared her throat and began to talk. "Your home is really nice," she said softly.

"Thanks."

"It's really old, right? I think it's really cool. Charlie is giving a tour to Emmett and Edward right now, and after this, maybe you can-"

"What?" I gasped, and put down the dish I was washing, and started running up stairs. "What is it, Bella?" Alice asked, running after me. I ran up to the attic door, to discover I was just in time. Charlie had his hand on the door knob.

"Dad, wait!" I shouted.

"Oh, Bells, you finished washing the dishes? I was just telling the boys how I haven't even stepped into my own attic after that first day I bought the house, and I didn't even look at the things inside then…"

"Don't go inside the attic."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's… not clean," I finished lamely.

"Oh, that's okay," Emmett said, smiling. "I'm sure that compared to my room, your attic looks like the cleanest place on earth,"

"Yeah," Tobias agreed, laughing.

"Still, let's see it some other time, after I've cleaned it," I told them. They shrugged, and followed Charlie to some other part of the house.

I went back to washing dishes with Alice, trying hard to ignore the odd looks she kept giving me. Once we had finished, I sneaked back up stairs, giving Alice a lame excuse about preferring the upstairs toilet more. Seeing the attic door was closed, I stood near the narrow flight of stairs leading up to it. As expected, Tobias came that way after a while.

"Hello, Tobias," I told him coldly. "Thought I'd leave the attic unguarded, did you?"

"What are you talking about? My name is Edward, and-"

"Stop lying at least now! Just because you stole his body doesn't make you Edward! How dare you continue to use his name after everything you did to him! Don't insult him by using his name, you freak! You're nothing but a selfish 170 year old man living in a teenagers body!"

I heard a choked gasp, and turned to see Charlie and Emmett listening to our conversation, for the second time that day. I almost groaned out loud. They must be thinking I'm insane!

After our guests had finally left and Charlie finally went to sleep after pacing in his room and tossing and turning in bed for hours, I slipped up to the attic, and told Edward about everything that had happened. He was just as confused and frustrated as I was. I decided to go back downstairs and sleep in my own bed, for fear that Charlie might check on me, since he didn't seem to be having that good a night.

When I woke up, I could hear Dad on the phone. As soon as I joined him in the kitchen, he put down the phone after promising whoever it was on the line to call back.

"Who was it, Dad?" I asked, opening the fridge to eat some left over lasagna. When he didn't answer, I turned, to see him sitting at the table, his head in his hands.

"Dad? What's wrong?"

He sighed heavily, and lifted his brown eyes to mine. There were dark circles underneath them.

"It was your Mom."

My eyes widened in alarm as I asked, "What is it? Is she okay?"

"She's fine, Bella. I was the one who called her."

"Why?"

Charlie normally never called my Mom, unless he had something really important to say.

"I wanted to talk to her about something Mrs. Masen said when she called this morning."

"What- what did she say?"

"Can you show me your wrists, Bella?"

I felt the blood drain from my face. "That little sneak," I muttered, thinking about Alice. I didn't even realize I had spoken out loud till he replied,

"Alice didn't say it on purpose, Bella. It has slipped from her without her meaning it. Mrs. Masen had had a hard time getting her to admit it, and even then she didn't. So that's why I asked you to show me, but your reaction tells me it's true, Bella. Show me, please."

I just stood there, leaning on the open fridge door for support.

"Please," Charlie repeated, in a broken voice, sounding dangerously close to tears. I blinked back my own tears, and pulled up my sleeves.

"Oh Christ," Dad whispered to himself, staring at the numerous scars criss crossing my wrists. He closed his eyes and started sobbing quietly. I just stood, frozen on the spot. It was the first time I had seen my Dad in tears, and I didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry, Dad," I finally whispered. "I'm so, so sorry…"

"He just opened his eyes, tears still spilling onto his cheeks. "How could I have been so blind?" he asked. It was a question more directed to himself than me, so I didn't reply. "I'm so sorry, baby," he said, and stood up, pulling me into his arms.

"Oh God, Daddy, don't apologize, please!" I sobbed, feeling more guilty than ever. I don't know how long we stood that way, holding on to each other, crying. But after a while, our sobs subsided, and I realized that I was going to be late for school. When I reminded Charlie about that, he asked if I was okay with going to school.

"Of course I am, Dad," I said, and he wrote a slip asking my teacher to excuse my tardiness, while forcing me to gulp down a cereal bar.

"I know things have been tough for you at school after breaking up with James. Is that why…?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Dad," I said dully, staring at the floor.

"Bella, honey, I know you don't want to, but you've got to tell me-"

"No, Dad! I can't, I just can't. And it doesn't matter now, because I don't cut myself-" Charlie flinched at my words- "anymore. So forget about this, and don't worry."

"Bella, it's not possible for me-"

"Please, Dad! I'm going to miss the first period now!"

I walked into the cafeteria, along with Rose. Rose claimed to be 'fine' whenever I asked her if she was okay, but I could see that she was anything but. She didn't hang out with her old friends, because James was always with them. She still talked with them, but she had become so dull and withdrawn into herself. They even tried to pull her out of her shell, asking what was wrong, but she never told anyone. Even when James wasn't with her friends, she had started to hang out with me. And by 'hanging out' I mean mostly staring into space, and speaking when spoken to. But I noticed that she was a bit less withdrawn when she was with me than when she was with her friends, so I didn't question her when she sat down at my usual table. All the other kids in school, though, stared at us in shock.

"I've got something to tell you," she said as soon as we sat down.

"What?"

"James came to my house last night, when I was alone. My parents were at some dinner."

I tensed. "Did you open the door?"

"I did. I was such an idiot, because he just knocked, and I thought it was Mom and Dad 'cause I was expecting them. I opened without even asking who it was."

I went cold. It was all my fault. I should have warned Rose about this, how could I have forgotten? He did it to me a second time too, how could I have let it happen to my only friend?

"He apologized."

"_What?" _

"James apologized for what he did", she repeated.

"He didn't- didn't do it again?"

"No."

"did he know you were home alone?"

"Yes, it was obvious."

"And still he didn't do anything?"

"No."

I was silent. Part of me wondered why he had apologized to Rose and not me, but a bigger part of me was worried that she would accept his apology and forget about what he did.

"What- what did he say?"

"That I was so pretty he couldn't control himself, that he was so sorry, that he felt so guilty he could kill himself… he says he was drunk, and that he won't touch alcohol again, that he'll never do that again, that he'll do anything to make me believe that he regrets it…"

"Was he drunk?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I just closed the door in his face."

I felt relieved. "So you don't believe him."

"I do."

**AN- so what do you think? Will Rose forgive James? **

**Only two people guessed if Tobias would hurt Bella or not correctly. And the amazing two are… *playing loud fanfare* matena and disney-movie-lover!**

**LovelyLovelyLovely- I can't comment on your review as much as I want to- I'd give away the story. But I think it's safe to say that Edward is a good guy. And Alice and Emmett are good too. There is much, much more to say, and I think I'll be able to tell you more after a few more chapters…**

**Princess Alara- I'm so glad I made you happy! You're welcome… OMG you said my fic is better than Twilight, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn! That is like the highest compliment EVER, though I don't really agree with it… it really made my day- thank you so, so much! I like Breaking Dawn more than New Moon, though- you must be a fan of Jacob's. I like Jake, just not as much as Edward ****J**

**AlleyjandroJacobie- yup, you guessed right- see if you can get it right this time too! Thank you for loving my story.. I love you!**

**MissVampireCullen- thank you for calling my story fantastic…**

**A Little Nobody- yay, a new reviewer! Thank you for calling my story wonderful… by the way, I really like your name :-)**

**Disney-movie-lover- I hope this chapter answered at least some of your questions, but I'm sure it left you even more confused, lol**

**Solange. Daughter of Night- thanks for saying that my story is original and addictive… and thanks for reviewing!**

**Vivx-chan- Thanks for loving it..**

**monkeejunkee- Ha Ha, I'm cruel like that *laughing evilly*. You were right about Charlie letting him into the house. I can't comment on the other things you said right now, as I'll be giving away the story… but I'll comment on them all one day, so please keep reviewing! Hope you liked the dedication…**

**TheAngelOfHope- hope this chapter cleared some of your confusion. If you're still confused, you're not alone- Bella and Edward are confused too!**

**Twilight-vamp-sis- Thank you for loving it, I love you!**

**Robsten Lover 223- You changed your pic :-( ****… I like this one too, but I loved your last one, Robert and Kristen looked so hot! Thank you for telling it's well written and that it's great…**

**matena- no, he doesn't want to change bodies… good that you're curious!**

**Thank you to everyone who took the time to review, I love you all- please review this chapter too! And everybody who reads this- ****please**** review! **


	10. Chapter 10

**This chapter is dedicated to 123D123D, my new reviewer who reviewed almost every chapter in one night- thanks! I loved your reading your guesses!**

**CHAPTER 10**

I stared at Rosalie, hardly able to believe that she had just admitted to believing James's apology.

"What? So you're just going to forgive him?"

She sighed deeply, burying her face in her hands. "I believe that he regrets it, Bella. I could see it in his eyes."

"Really? It's a pity that you didn't see it in his eyes that he was about to rape you before he did it."

Rose flinched, and I immediately regretted my harsh words.

"I'm sorry, Rose, I just-"

"I know. Just- don't talk like that again, please."

"I won't," I said guiltily.

For a while we were silent. I was disappointed in Rose. Maybe she sensed this, because she covered my hand with hers, and said softly, "It's not what you think, Bella. I'm not going to forgive or forget- it would be humanely impossible for me to do that so soon. I just said that I believe him. It doesn't excuse what he did. Even if he was drunk, he wasn't drunk enough for me to notice it, so obviously he can't blame it on that. Even if he was that drunk it wouldn't excuse what he did. And how would that explain what he did to you? I still hate him, Bella."

I sighed, relieved. Then we both began picking at our lunches.

My fork fell, and as I was bending to retrieve it, I heard a familiar velvety voice ask Rose, "May we sit here?"

Rose agreed before I could refuse- she probably thought Tobias and I were friends because we had talked yesterday, and Tobias, flanked by Alice and Emmett, sat down at our table.

"Hey, Bella," Alice said softly, trying to gauge my expression. She was probably worried if I was mad at her. I was, but I didn't want to show it, so I calmly introduced Rose to her and Emmett, ignoring Tobias, who was sitting right next to me. Emmett, obviously fascinated by Rose's beauty, tried, unsuccessfully, to engage her in conversation, and Alice concentrated on her food. I concentrated on my mashed potatoes, too, but Tobias said softly, so that the others couldn't hear,

"Bella, I know that you don't want me to sit with you. And I swear that this is the last time I'll sit here, unless you want me to. But I had to talk to you, to explain a few things."

"Yeah? Like what?"

He sighed, and continued talking. "I know you hate me, Bella, and I won't pretend to know why. I can see that it would be a waste of time to try to convince you that your accusations are false-"

"You got that right."

"I got the feeling that for whatever reason, you think I'm out to get someone or something in your attic."

"Really, smartass? Got that feeling, did you? Well-"

"But you needn't worry about that, because I swear I'll never step into your attic-"

"Like I'm gonna believe that!"

"Because I won't even step inside your house after this. I swear to you."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm telling the truth. And honestly, what would the point of lying to you now be, if I was going to do it later?"

I couldn't argue with that.

I stopped talking to see that the other three were looking at us curiously. They hadn't heard anything, though- we had whispered the entire time.

After lunch was over, Alice asked if she could speak to me in private for a while. I agreed, and we walked towards our next class, which we had together.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," she burst out, as soon as we were alone.

"It's fine, Alice," I said coldly.

"No, it's not! I really didn't mean to say it, but we were discussing how odd our visit was-"

She stopped abruptly, realizing that she had put her foot in her mouth again.

"It's okay, Alice, I know your visit was odd. You must have thought I was nuts."

"No, Bella, we just thought it was a really odd visit, that's it. And Emmett was blaming you for yelling at Edward for no reason, so I tried to defend you, saying it was probably because you were stressed out. He said it didn't make you yelling at him okay, so I said that if you had huge problems in your life it was reasonable, problems big enough to… to cut your own wrists. I didn't mean to say it like that, Bella, I honestly wasn't going to tell, it just slipped out in the heat of the argument-"

"It's okay, Alice, it really is." I smiled at her, and though my smile was weak, it was genuine.

"Thanks for defending me," I said.

She smiled back, brightly, looking relieved. "Anytime, Bella. So… does that mean we're friends?"

"Yeah," I said, watching her grin broaden. And then she said, "And Bella… if you ever want to talk… I'm here."

I nodded gratefully, even though I wasn't planning on confiding in anyone.

I normally walk or take the bus home after school, because Charlie is too busy to pick me up at that time. Today, though, Rose dropped me. If I knew more about cars, I would have told you what kind hers was, but me being me, all I can say is that it was black, and that it looked really expensive and nice.

She was a fast driver, which I liked. As she drove, she asked what I thought about Emmett.

"I don't really like him all that much. I don't think he likes me either," I admitted. Actually, the reason I didn't like him was because he didn't like me. But then again, could I blame him for not liking me? He probably knew nothing about who Edward Masen really was, and I must have looked like a crazy person yelling at a guy she knew nothing about. I turned sideways to see a disappointed looking Rose, and told her, "You know what? Forget what I said, I don't dislike him. I don't really have a reason to."

"I don't think he dislikes you, either. Why did you think that?"

"Long story." translation- I don't want to tell you. Rose didn't prod, though.

"Do you think he's cute?"

"Yeah, if you like the muscular type, I suppose."

"Why? What type do you like?"

"Edward's-" shit. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Seriously? You like Edward? I never would have guessed, what with the way you were glaring at him during lunch. I was regretting saying yes when he asked if they could join us. What was that all about, anyway?"

I didn't say anything, and Rose took the hint yet again. I felt bad about not telling her, specially because she obviously told me everything, but I honestly didn't think she'd believe me if I told her about the real Edward- my Edward. I just said, "I don't like Edward that way, I just think he's really good looking. Liking the way he looks doesn't mean that I like him."

"It's a start," Rose said, grinning, and I grimaced. Thankfully, we had reached my house, and I got down. Before she left, though, I asked, "So, do _you _think Emmett is cute?"

She just blushed, and said "bye, Bella," before driving away.

I turned to the house, grinning. It was then that I saw Renee's car, which wiped the grin right off my face. It was typical of Mom to come all the way to Forks for something as trivial as this. Well, okay, maybe it wasn't so trivial, but I had explained to Dad that I had stopped doing it, so a phone call from her would have been more than enough. I felt so guilty for worrying both her and Dad so much.

Mom spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get me to tell her what was wrong, and why I had resorted to cutting myself. I didn't tell her about James- why would she believe me? No one had.

We were making dinner. All day, I had tried to sneak up to the attic, but Mom always tagged behind me. I think she was scared I would cut myself again, no matter how many times I told her I had stopped. I kept remembering how Edward had asked me to tell him if I wasn't going to come for whatever reason, and how he must be worried. I was going to try to make up an excuse to go up stairs, when I heard Renee sniffling behind me. Mom was crying, her face in her hands. Sobs racked her thin frame, and I had never felt more guilty- not even when Charlie cried today morning. She was crying as though her heart was broken, as though all hope was lost.

I walked up to her, and put my arms around her. "I'm fine now, Mom. Please let's put this behind us. I don't do it anymore, so why can't we just forget about it?"

She pulled me away from her so that she could look at my face. "Bella darling, one day, when you're a mother, you'll understand why I can't just forget it. I might not live with you, sweetie, but you're the most important person in my life. If something happened to you- what if you cut too much-"

"I won't cut too much, Mom!"

One look at her face made me realize that that was the wrong thing to say.

"What I mean is, I've stopped it. I was depressed about a few things, and it seemed to be the only relief. But now it's not like that, Mom. Besides, you wouldn't believe me if I tell you, and I don't think I could bear to relive it…"

"Honey, how can you even think that? I'm your mother, Bella, of course I'd believe anything you tell me!"

"Anything?"

"Of course!"

I looked at her puffy, red rimmed eyes, full of unconditional love. I remembered her dumping a guy she liked, because I hadn't liked him. I remembered her holding me after discovering that I had kept my report card which said I failed three subjects hidden under the mattress for a month, telling me she loved me no matter what. I remembered her crying her heart out the day Dad got custody of me, when I was still a kid.

I sat down on the kitchen floor, patting the space behind me. Mom sat down there, still crying. Then I told her. Not about Edward, of course- but about James. I didn't tell about Rose- that wasn't my story to tell, but I did tell her about how friendless I had been till a few days ago. I told her that I had friends now- Rose and Alice.

I had been an idiot to think that she wouldn't believe me- because she did. She cried even harder, though, holding me. She was livid about what James had done, and kept swearing to put him behind bars. I knew, though, that that wasn't possible- there wasn't a shred of proof against him.

That was the way Charlie found us when he got home- sitting on the kitchen floor, crying, our arms around each other.

He joined us, and for a moment, I wished my parents were still together. Things would have been much less complicated then- I knew that even though she didn't say anything, Mom blamed Dad at least a little for what had happened. She probably thought that it would have been different if I lived with her, but the truth is that it would have happened anyway. James, and maybe me, are the only people to blame.

Renee had promised me not to tell what I had told to anyone- not until I was ready, anyway- so she didn't tell Charlie anything.

Dinner was a quiet affair. After we washed and dried the dishes, the three of us sat down in the living room.

Charlie cleared his throat nervously, and began speaking. "Bella, Dr. Masen is a very good psychiatrist. I think you- or maybe all three of us should start seeing him."

I felt my insides grow cold at his statement. I waited for Renee to disagree with him, but she just sat there, nodding her head in obvious approval.

"You want me to see a shrink? You think I'm crazy?"

"No, Bella, you don't talk to us, so we thought-"

"I talked to Mom! I told her everything!"

I didn't miss the expression of hurt that flashed across Charlie's face before he covered it up, and said, gruffly, "Oh. That's- that's good."

"Sweetheart," Renee said, "I know you told me everything, but you went through something traumatic, and cutting yourself, staying in your room staring at the ceiling for hours, not eating…"

I glared accusingly at Charlie while she said those things.

"…these just aren't healthy, sweetheart. Your Dad says you barely talked to him the past month. I- we- just don't know how to address these problems. Only a psychiatrist does. Dr Masen can help you heal, Bella. Just give it a chance… you need this."

"No I don't! don't you get it? I've stopped cutting myself!"

"When did you last do it?"

"About two weeks ago."

As soon as I said it, I could hardly believe it. Was it possible that so much had happened in two weeks? But I didn't have time to figure out if my estimation of the time passed was right, because Charlie said-

"That's not too far ago, Bells. Please, trust me when I say you need this."

"What if I refuse to go?"

"You need this, Bells," Charlie repeated.

"You'll force me to go?"

"We can't force you to do anything. But we won't be able to even sleep at night, without knowing that you're all right-"

"But I am!"

"How can we know? We didn't think there was a serious problem earlier, and you didn't even tell us- we had to find out. Please, Bella, we're begging you."

"Fine. Fine!" I said, and started crying.

I went into my room, and cried into my pillow. I needed Edward- why wouldn't they go to sleep? Maybe they would believe me if I handed over my pen knife, I thought, and opened my desk drawer where I had kept it. It was gone. Renee had probably removed it. I felt sick at the thought of her discovering it, its blade stained with dried blood. I searched my bathroom for the razor blades I had used sometimes, but they were gone too. For some reason, that annoyed me. I understood why she had done it, but it made me feel powerless- like it wasn't my decision.

After my parents finally fell asleep in their respective rooms, I slipped upstairs to the attic. When I finally opened the door, I could see that I had caught Edward in the middle of pacing up and down. His naturally messy hair looked even more disheveled- he had probably run his hands through his hair many times. He looked pale and distraught, though obviously relieved. The first thing he asked when I went inside the mirror and hugged him, was an urgent- "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said, even though I was anything but. In his arms, though, I felt as though everything would be all right.

"Did Tobias do anything? Did he try to hurt you?"

"No. My Mom came. That's why I'm late."

He looked deeply hurt. "Bella, I was worried sick about you- I thought Tobias had done something, and I had no idea what to do… couldn't you have told me that-"

"No, I just didn't get a chance to. She came all of a sudden. I really did try to come, Edward. I'm sorry…"

"It's okay," he said sighing and kissing my forehead. "It's not your fault anyway… why did she come suddenly?"

I heaved a long sigh, and went to lie down on the mattress, pulling him along with me. I nuzzled into his chest, then rested my head on his arm, which was wrapped around me.

"It's been such a long day… and Tobias is so weird… shall I just explain everything from the beginning?"

"Okay, love. Go on."

So that was what I did, telling him everything, like I always did.

"And so my parents officially consider me a lunatic," I ended bitterly.

Edward turned side ways, so that he could see my face.

"Your parents don't think that, love. I think they just think you need to talk to someone, and after everything you've been through, I think it might be good for you."

I immediately sat up, pushing Edward away. "You think I'm crazy too?"

He sat up too. "No, Bella! How could you say that? Crazy people go to insane asylums, not psychiatrists! I just think that it would be good for you to talk to someone about what happened with James- someone who knows how to help you to come to terms with what happened, and face him in a way that would make him stop bullying you. As much as I wish that I could help you with all this, I can't, my love. That's why I think that it might be a good idea. Of course, I don't like the fact that it's going to be Tobias's adoptive father doing it, but I don't think he knows who he really is, so I don't think it'll make any difference."

I looked at the sincerity and love in his eyes, and realized that he was telling the truth.

He held out his arms, and I climbed into his lap, burying my face in his chest.

"Will you do it, baby?" he asked, stroking my hair.

"It's not like I have a choice, right?"

"I think you do. They won't force you to do it if you say you can't, right?"

"When you put it that way, I guess yeah, you're right."

"Will you still go?"

"You want me to."

"I just said what I think. I'd like it if you do it, but it's up to you."

"Yeah, I guess. I'll do it."

He grinned and kissed my lips. As the kiss deepened, he explored my mouth with his delicious tongue, and I grabbed a handful of his hair, pulling it back. He moaned softly into my mouth, cupping my face with his hands. We both came up for air, panting breathlessly, still clutching each other.

"Was that for agreeing to see Dr Masen?" I asked, grinning.

"Maybe," he said, pushing my hair away from my face.

"I missed you so much today, my Bella," he whispered, and then, laughing, asked, "I'm being really cheesy, huh? But I did miss you like hell." and not for the first time, I wished he could be out of this mirror. Then we would spend every second together. But the only thing I said out loud was "I missed you too."

Then I drifted off to sleep, while he hummed a song he had composed, under his breath.

When I woke up, Edward was no where to be seen. I stood up, yawning, and called out, "Edward?" and then he suddenly came from behind a covered book case.

"Where were you?" I asked, holding my hands out to him. He grasped them, but his hold on my fingers wasn't gentle, like it normally was. It was hard and it hurt.

"Edward, let go, you're hurting me," I whimpered. It was then that I noticed the shards of glass on the floor. I whipped my head up to where the mirror normally stood, to see… nothing.

"Edward where's the mirror?"

Edward's normally sweet face twisted into an evil and sinister smile.

"Edward Cullen is dead, Bella. I shattered the mirror and killed him while you were sleeping. It's a pity I had to kill Charlie and Renee, too, they were in the way. I'm not Edward. I'm Tobias."

"No. NOOOOO!" I screamed, lunging at him. But he just laughed, and tore away my dress, stripping me naked in one fluid motion. I screamed again, now trying to get away from him, but he was on top of me now, doing what James did all over again, while I screamed, wishing I was dead and with my Edward. Tobias just laughed, and-

"Bella! Bella wake up!"

I opened my eyes to see Tobias looking at me, and I screamed, slapping at him as hard as I could.

"Get away from me you murderer!"

"Bella, it's me, Edward! It was a nightmare…"

I still sobbed, trembling.

"Oh, baby," he said, gathering me into his arms. "Ssssh, it wasn't real, love. Please stop shaking, baby, you're scaring me…"

I looked up at his face. His green eyes were wide and panicked, and my nails had scratched his cheek where I had slapped him, thinking he was Tobias, and a thin trickle of blood was running down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Edward… I didn't mean to-"

"I know, love. It doesn't even hurt. Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I… I'm sorry I freaked out and hurt you, it just seemed so real."

"I know, baby. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. It was Tobias, though. That's why I… I thought you were him…"

He nodded, still holding me. I could see his concern written all over his face.

"It's good that I woke up, though, I forgot to set the alarm for 6.30 so that I can go downstairs before they wake up."

He nodded, and I set the alarm in my phone. Then I cuddled up to him.

"You're still trembling," he said, holding me tight. He, too, sounded pretty shaken up. I sighed, wishing Tobias would just leave.

"Are you okay?" he asked after a while.

"No, but I will be, after you give me a kiss."

He chuckled. "if that's not bribing, I don't know what is…"

I just lifted my face up to his, puckering my lips, and closed my eyes. I loved how soft his lips felt, in contrast to the rough golden stubble on his cheeks.

"I love you," I said, opening my eyes.

"I know," he smirked cheekily. I kicked him, and he laughed, rubbing his shin. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For not saying it back."

"Not saying what back?"

I pushed him away, pouting, and he pulled me back into his arms, grinning. "I love you more than my life, Bella. I always will. You know that, right? Even though I don't say it all the time?"

I kissed his suddenly serious face, before saying, "Yeah, I know. Now sing my song, please…"

My song was my favorite one out of all the songs Edward had composed for me. It somehow made me feel so loved and adored and happy… I loved it, and it automatically cheered me up. Edward didn't really sing it, of course- it didn't have any words- he just hummed it.

Edward fell asleep before I did- his humming stopped and his breathing slowed. I lifted my head from his chest to look at his face. He made a satisfied sound, and cuddled me tighter. Surprisingly, it was the first time I had seen Edward asleep, even though we had slept together for almost a week now. I loved seeing it. I rested my head again in it's rightful place on his chest, and fell asleep once more, feeling safe again.

**AN- which ones of you knew she was dreaming? When did you realize it? **

**Has anyone ever suggested seeing a psychiatrist to you? Was your reaction similar to Bella's? it was actually my reaction when my mom suggested it to me about four years ago, when I was going through a rough time. Nothing as serious as Bella- not even close, and I refused to go. I didn't think I needed one. I still think I was right, and my parents agree now, but maybe it would have helped- I really have no idea. **

**123D123D- Rose believes him, but she doesn't forgive him, so there's not much danger of that happening… I gave a longer chapter this time… thank you for loving it… I love you!**

**disney-movie-lover- Hope I just saved you from spontaneously exploding… LOL, loved your review, which basically means that I love it when people call me cruel for leaving them hanging. But I didn't really think the last chapter was a cliffy… was it?**

**LovelyLovelyLovely and TVObsessee, both of you wanted to know why Bella didn't move the mirror to her room. (get ready, long and boring explanation about to commence ;-)) well, for one thing, the mirror is one of those ancient big ones, and it's quite heavy- she can't drag it downstairs by herself without breaking it. And she can't get anyone to help her without risking them seeing Edward, freaking out, and making it public that there's a man in a mirror. Besides, even if she got it inside her room, Charlie and Renee come in there from time to time, and would see Edward and freak out. Even if she kept it covered with a cloth or something- you know how nosy parents are- and that mirror doesn't exactly blend in with the surroundings, so… thank you for asking, anyway, that probably needed to be explained, but I forgot- sorry! Fire away again whenever you don't get something, and if you're more confused than Bella is… and thanks so much for reviewing!**

**MissVampireCullen- I love it that you're beginning to be addicted- hope your addiction stays the same till the end!**

**Robsten Lover 223- yay! You love the Edward/Bella fluff! **

**Kirstofferson- Thank you for loving the story, I love you!**

**Princess Alara- YAY! You were the only one who guessed that Rose won't forgive him! As a reward, I'll PM you the next chapter before I upload it… just tell me if it's okay with you… No, neither of them will be getting pregnant, that will just make things too complicated. And no, James wasn't trying to apologize to Bella. When he knocked, he was just trying to scare her or get the chance to do it to her again. Warning- ultra long and boring explanation about James about to ensue, because I just couldn't stop myself. Skip ahead about 3 paras if you don't want to read it.**

**You see, James really was a bit drunk when he did it to Rose- she was right when she thought his apology was sincere. He didn't mean to do it. He didn't do it because he was too drunk to know what he was doing, but it was impulsive- not like when it happened with Bella, which was planned. He never planned on doing it to two girls in the same school because then everybody might believe that Bella wasn't lying. **

**Not to mention the fact that Rose, unlike Bella, is very popular and has lots of friends. He didn't apologize to Rose because he liked her any better than Bella, but because he was scared she would tell people the truth.**

**Now that I'm on the topic of James, I can't seem to stop, so I'll tell you why James does it to girls. It's not just so that he can get some, though that's definitely one motive- getting some without staining his squeaky clean image with a playboy tag. He just also loves doing it without their consent, and beating them into submission, which is pretty sick, I know. It's just the way his twisted mind works. **

**Thanks for telling me about the typo, and that the chapter was awesome… so are you!**

**AlleyjandroJacobie- awww, you said you love me too! Yay! I love it that you can't wait for more…**

**twilight-vamp-sis- thanks for saying great chapter and for reviewing! **

**Have to say that I miss matena and monkeejunkee… where are you guys? :-(**** sorry if I'm bugging you, it's just that I miss you!**

**Everybody, please review this chapter, ****please!**** I know I've said this a million times, but the reviews are what inspire me to write… without them, my brain comes up with nothing… thank you so much for everyone who reviewed, I love you all! **


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter is dedicated to my 100th**** reviewer, Jenox2009. A big thank you to her and everybody else who ever reviewed this story… I love you guys so much!**

**CHAPTER 11**

I woke up to the shrill sound of the alarm at the crack of dawn. Edward woke up, too, and stared at the phone blearily till I turned the alarm off.

I suppressed a laugh at his adorably messed up hair. "I've got to go, baby," I told him, even though I didn't want to. "Renee's an early bird, and I don't want to risk getting caught."

He pouted, like he usually did when I left. "One second more," he said, holding my hand. I lifted it to my lips, then traced his veins. I liked doing that.

He watched me, leaning against the wall, playing with my hair, which a glance in the mirror revealed to resemble a hay stack. "I can't believe I fell asleep," he muttered, sounding frustrated.

"Why? I loved watching you sleep."

"It's just that sleeping when you're with me feels like such a waste of time. I normally don't. I sleep during the day time, when you're not there."

"Oh, Edward," I pulled him into my arms, feeling like crying. "But it must be so boring for you when I sleep…"

"Didn't you love watching me sleep?"

I didn't argue further, just stayed like that, holding him. I felt like I could stay that way forever.

Edward insisted on putting me a 'hair style'. He didn't let me look in the mirror till it was over, and massaged my head in the middle of putting the hair style. He was so good at massaging, and I couldn't help a moan escaping my lips at how good his fingers felt. I blushed beet red as soon as I realized what I had done, and even though he didn't say anything, I swear I could hear him chuckle.

When I reached for my phone to check the time, he said, "Ta da! It's over! You can look!"

I turned eagerly to the mirror, only to see that he had turned my hair into a worse mess than it had been in earlier.

"It's, uh, great."

He laughed out loud. "You don't have to lie, love, I know I'm a horrible hair stylist. In my defense, though, you still look great, so it doesn't matter."

"You just wanted an excuse to touch my hair," I accused him, examining the ghastly hair style in the mirror.

"Obviously," he replied, grinning. "And an excuse to keep you here." At that, I gasped and reached for the phone, to see that it was 7.15.

"Oh my God! It's 7.15!"

He looked guilty, and said "I'm sorry," as soon as I stood up to leave.

I kissed his forehead. "It's okay, baby. I needed it, too. But I have to go now, as much as I want to stay. I'll be back after school, unless Dr Masen asks to see me today…"

He nodded, and after a quick goodbye kiss, I left my favorite place in the world.

The smell of bacon and pancakes was wafting from the kitchen when I went down, and for a second, I froze on the stairs, worried that Renee might have checked on me. But then I realized that if she had, she would be searching for me, and not cooking.

"Hey, Mom," I told her, as soon as I went inside.

"Hey, sweetie. Good morning." She sounded tentative, probably wondering if I was still mad after our argument last night. Frankly, I had forgotten all about that until then.

"Good morning," I told her, walking up to her and kissing her cheek to show that I wasn't holding a grudge against her. "Breakfast smells great, but isn't that too much bacon and pancakes for three?"

"Actually, Esme called earlier, and asked if I could give her kids a ride to school, along with you."

"Esme?"

"Mrs. Masen."

My good mood evaporated instantly. "They have a car of their own, Mom, I saw Tob- Edward drive it to school yesterday."

"Actually, that's Esme's car. She has her office at home, so she doesn't normally have to use it, and then she gives it to the kids. But today she had to go out of town for work. She's an interior decorator, you know."

I couldn't care less. I wanted to ask her to feed the Masen's- I only needed a cereal bar for breakfast, anyway- and that I'll ask Charlie to give me a ride to school. But I didn't, because that would have hurt her.

I just sat down grumpily at the table, covering a pancake with nutella, muttering that she'd have to give us a slip to excuse us, 'cause we were definitely going to be late.

The door bell rang just then, and Renee ran to open the door. "We're going to be late," was the first thing Emmett said as soon as he came inside, followed by Alice. I kept looking at the door, waiting for Tobias, my stomach churning. But Alice gently closed the door behind her.

"Where's Edward?" Renee asked, voicing my thoughts.

"He… walked to school."

"What? But that's such a long walk! He'll be later than us!"

"Yeah, well, he said he needed the exercise," Emmett shrugged.

I stared at my pancake, tearing it to shreds. No one walked to school in the morning, whether they needed exercise or not- you didn't want to go to school all sweaty and smelly. Tobias had kept his promise to me- had actually gone out of his way to keep that promise. But why? I didn't understand, and thinking about it just confused me, so I stuffed the rest of the pancake into my mouth, and licked my nutella covered fingers, totally forgetting my table manners in my state of confusion.

I talked with Alice during the rest of breakfast- Emmett was busy wolfing down bacon and pancakes and scrambled eggs. She filled me up on the new friends she had made, and what classes she liked.

"And I didn't know that Mr. Banner spits when he talks, so I took a front row seat," she said, jumping up and down, while we got into the car. I asked Emmett to ride shot gun so that Alice could finish her story before going to school- I suspected there was more to it- she couldn't have been jumping up and down about Mr. Banner spitting on her.

"And there was this CUTE guy, and he walked up to me before class started, and offered to exchange seats with me- he was in the back- and he said he didn't want me to be drenched on my first day at Forks… isn't that so _sweet_?"

I grinned, nodding. "So who was this sweet guy?"

"Jasper Whitlock. Actually, we talked a bit after class, and he said he knew you."

My smile faltered. What had Jasper told Alice about me? We had been friends before the James incident- we had never been close, but we had sat together at lunch- he was one of the people who had thought I was a liar and abandoned me when I told the truth about James. He did come up to me and tell me that what Victoria and the others did to my locker was wrong, but he still thought I was a liar. What if he told all that to Alice? Who would she believe? Sure, I didn't even know her all that well, but I didn't want her to abandon me, too- I only had two real friends, and I wanted to keep them.

"And since the two of you seemed to know each other too," Alice continued, clueless about the change in my mood, "I asked him to have lunch with us today. That's okay, right?" she grinned broadly.

I nearly groaned out loud. First Mom, now Alice. Why was everyone doing this to me today? I wanted to tell that it won't be anywhere near okay- that it would be awkward and uncomfortable, and that I wouldn't be surprised if he let it slip how he thinks I'm a liar. Instead, I just said, "Yeah, Alice. It's okay."

The three of us walked up to our lockers together, and when we came up to my one, both of them looked at what was written on the door, shocked. I tensed, waiting for them to demand an explanation, but they just stood there awkwardly, and I grabbed my books.

Emmett and I had the next class together, and we both walked to it together. I was tense at first, scared that he would give me grief about how I yelled at Tobias and how he walked to school today, but he didn't mention it. What he did mention, though, was Rose. He asked tons of questions about her, from simple ones like what her favorite flower was- I had no idea- to complicated ones like why she seemed so broken and sad sometimes. I couldn't give an honest answer to that, either- it wasn't my place, and I thought that Emmett must have realized that it was useless to talk to me, but he even sat with me during class. Earlier, I had thought he had been too busy eating to talk, but now I realized that Alice had probably been too much of a chatter box for him to get in a word edgewise.

When he stopped talking about Rose, we discussed about other things till the teacher came, and I discovered that it was really easy to talk to him- much easier than even Alice or Rose. When the class was over, I realized that if I was ever going to get to the bottom of the mystery that was Tobias, I would have to do a little digging. What I discovered confused me even more.

I had thought that Tobias had made himself become adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Masen when he discovered they were moving to Forks, but Emmett told that Tobias had been adopted two years ago- even before him. Alice had been adopted by the Masen's when she was only four. I asked him if there were any childhood photos of Tobias, fully expecting the answer to be no, but he said yes- he had an album of photos taken by his biological father before he died. I was so shocked by his answer I stood right there in the hallway, frozen, till someone bumped into me. I quickly apologized to the guy, and picked up my books, helped by Emmett.

As the two of us parted ways to go to our different classes, I wondered what this meant. Was it possible that Edward Masen was really who he claimed to be, and not Tobias? Maybe he was some long lost relative of my Edward- maybe that was why they looked identical. But how did that explain his name being Edward too? No, no, I was being silly- that was way too much of a coincidence. Even if they were related, they couldn't look identical. But everything was so confusing it was driving me crazy. How in Gods name could someone stuck at age 17 have childhood photos? I had just asked that to prove to myself that it was Tobias, because him walking to school had left me confused. But now, I was even more confused.

At lunch, Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper sat with me, while Tobias sat at a different table, alone. Both Emmett and Alice offered to join him but he refused. I knew he was keeping his promise to me, and I got the feeling that Alice and Emmett knew that he was staying away because of me, too, but they didn't mention it. I felt guilty for a while, before I reminded myself who he really was.

It wasn't as awkward with Jasper as I thought it would be- he said hi to me and Rose when he sat down, and after that, he talked mostly to Alice.

Rose dropped me, Alice and Emmett home after school, while Tobias walked again. I had been hoping that Renee would have left by the time I got home, so that I could run up to Edward as usual, but she was still there- what was worse was that she told me that she had scheduled an appointment with Dr. Masen for today.

"Are you coming with me?" I asked Renee glumly.

"No, sweetheart. I'll drop you there, though- I'll even stay if you like- I'm sure Esme wouldn't mind."

"Why would Esme mind if you stay in the hospital?"

"Oh, Bella, we're not going to the hospital- we're going to the Masen's house. Carlisle said it'd be easier for you if it was informal like that and it would be easier for me to wait there, and we don't even have to pay. Trust me, I insisted on paying, but they put their collective foot down."

I closed my eyes in dismay. I didn't want to go to Tobias's house, but I couldn't tell Mom- what reason would I give?

As soon as Renee's car pulled out of the drive way, I made up a lie about forgetting my phone and ran upstairs.

"Hey," I told Edward as soon I went inside the mirror, slipping my arms around his waist.

"Hey back at you," he said, pulling me into a deep kiss. He put aside the book he had been reading, and wrapped his arms around me.

"I've got to go, I've got an appointment with Dr. Masen," I told him, kissing his nose. No need to tell him about it being in his house- Edward would probably ask me to make an excuse and not go, which was impossible.

"Will you be back soon?"

"Don't know. I'll try to."

"Okay, then. I love you…"

"Love you too," I told him, before leaving.

**AN- Sorry for getting late with this… **

**Jendenise0901- Can't tell you if Edward Masen is telling the truth or not… but no, there's no possibility that Edward in the mirror is the real Tobias. As I once told somebody else, he's a good guy, and he's not using Bella. And no, she's not dreaming… anyway, thank you so much for your long review… I love long reviews!**

**Jenox2009- hope you liked the dedication… thank you for loving it, I love you!**

**TheAngelOfHope- I'm glad you didn't realize it was a dream, lol! Thanks for sharing that with us…**

**- yay, a new reviewer! Thank you for loving it, and for reviewing, I love you! xxx **

**monkeejunkee- yay, you're back! I'm really glad that you think Emmett will be good for Rose, I love them both. I'm glad you agree with me about the shrink… I can never surprise you, can I? lol…**

**Maybe she shouldn't have blurted out everything like that, but after he saw her coming out of the attic, it would have been obvious anyway, right?**

**Awww, of course I forgive you, there's nothing to forgive anyway!**

**I love you too! :-)**

**hilndgirl- I love it that you're hooked… I haven't watched that movie, but now I'm planning to… thank you for reviewing…**

**matena- yay, you're back! That's okay, even I get lost in my own world sometimes…. You don't have to review every single chapter (although I would love it if you do, and I'm really hoping you will) and you're not a horrible person, you're the best! I love you! Thank you so much for reviewing…**

**one2love- thank you for loving the story, I love you! Sorry for getting a bit late to update…**

**MissVampireCullen- yay, another person who didn't know she was dreaming! Thank you so much for sharing that with us, and I'm so glad that you don't do that anymore… thank you for reviewing, love you…**

**hannah9page- thank you for reviewing!**

**Princess Alara- Even I'm glad at finally getting to talk to you… thank you so much for calling me a great writer, I feel so happy… that was really nice of you to decline, and of course I didn't take it the wrong way- how could I, with such a good explanation? And thank you so much for reviewing and for congratulating me… I love you!**

**Color me Red- yay, another new reviewer! I loved your review, thanks! Please review this chapter too!**

**123D123D- sorry, but I can't tell that right now, it'll spoil the story :-(****. Thank you so much for reviewing…**

**LovelyLovelyLovely- sorry, can't divulge any information about that too. Thank you for saying the chapter was great!**

**twilight-vamp-sis- thank you for loving the chapter, I love you! Hope you like this one too…**

**disney-movie-lover- yes, your feeling is correct ****L****. sorry for getting a bit late to update… thank you for reviewing!**

**Robsten Lover 223- thank you for saying it's awesome… so are you! yeah, poor Bella. **

**To everybody reading this, please review! And to everybody who reviewed the last chapter- thank you, I love you, and please review this one too! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Long AN at the end of the chapter. Nothing belongs to me.**

**CHAPTER 12**

The Masen's house was really nice. It was almost as large as ours, even though it wasn't as old. I needn't have worried about running into Tobias- he spent all of my visit inside his room, even though Alice and Emmett came to talk with me before Carlisle came. Esme insisted that the two of us stayed for dinner as well. Esme was very pretty, with brown hair and caramel brown eyes.

Carlisle, too, was handsome for his age- he had curly blond hair and kind, intelligent brown eyes. He asked me to wait in his office while he changed his clothes into something more casual.

His office was a huge, very nice room with lots of comfortable chairs along with the trademark couch. But what really caught my attention was the huge book case. I checked it out, expecting to find at least a few good books, but all I found were boring medical books. Some of them had weird, funny titles though, like The sexual behavior of the human female.

Once Carlisle came- he was wearing jeans and a white sweater now- he asked me to have a seat. "So, Bella, what would you like to talk about today?" he asked, looking me in the eye. I averted my gaze and looked to the table.

"Anything, really. I'm not particular. It looks sunny today."

He chuckled. "Talking about the weather wasn't exactly what I had in mind for us today, though, yes, it is sunny. Why don't you tell me why you came here today."

"Uh, because my parents asked me to?" it came out as a question even though it was a statement.

"Didn't you want to come?"

"Not at first. But then I talked with a friend and decided that it was a good idea."

"Who was the friend?"

I said the first lie that came to mind- "Rose. Rosalie Hale."

Uncannily, he seemed to know that I was lying. He said softly. "Just so you know, Bella, even though we're not doing this in the hospital, I'm still bound by patient doctor confidentiality not to tell anyone anything you tell me. Everything you tell me will be for my ears only."

"Okay."

"Hmmm. So do you feel like telling me why you cut yourself?"

Taken aback at the sudden change in the line of questioning, I took a while to answer.

"I… was depressed."

"Why?"

"Because…"

I couldn't tell him, he was a perfect stranger. It was different from telling it to Edward and Renee, no matter how kind he looked.

"I'm not ready to tell you," I told him. He nodded. "That's okay. There's no hurry."

The rest of the visit, in my opinion, was a total waste of time. He asked ordinary things like how I felt about the divorce and about Renee living so far away. He also asked about Rose, and asked why I disliked Edward, which I refused to answer.

During dinner, Tobias and I never talked to each other. He did give me a tentative smile, though, which I didn't return.

**Four months later**

It was early January. Even though four months had passed, nothing much had changed. Edward and I were still very much in love, and were even closer than before. Tobias always ate alone, while the five of us continued to eat lunch together. Jasper and I had become more friendly towards each other, and Alice and Jasper had got together. Emmett had asked Rose out lots of times, but she always refused. The incident with James had left her broken, no matter how much I tried to fix her. James had apologized to her several times after that, and she refused to forgive him. The problem was that she still stubbornly refused to tell anyone other than me about what had happened to her. Sometimes I thought that she was the one who needed Dr Carlisle, though she refused to visit him too.

Things had improved a lot on the Dr Carlisle front. I had told him about James, and Edward was right- Carlisle helped me come to terms with what had happened. He also made me realize that sometimes I don't tell my friends what I really feel for fear of losing them, for fear of being abandoned by them like I was earlier. He made me understand that my fears were irrational, because real friends never abandon your friends. Back then, I didn't have any real friends, but now I had Rose, Alice and Emmett, who stood by me no matter what. In fact, Victoria and Laurent never said anything to me now- Victoria was terrified of getting a verbal battering from Ali, and Laurent was scared of getting beaten up by Emmett.

James never knocked on my door after that- not because anything had changed between us, but because of the other major change in my life- Renee had moved to Forks, and lived next door to us. She was out in the garden most of the time, and would see James if he came to our house.

Renee moving next door was both good and bad. Good, because I got to see her everyday, bad, because even though I gave lame excuses like home work all the time and stayed in Charlie's house, I had to be with her if she came over, and that interrupted my precious Edward time.

I should have known that everything was too good to last. I wasn't even scared of Tobias anymore- I was wary, yes, but why should I be scared of someone who went out of his way to avoid me, just because that was what I wanted?

That night, I was with Edward in the mirror as usual.

He had been reading Jane Eyre, which had left him in a philosophical mood.

"Sometimes I feel like a blind man, and that you are my eyes," he told me. I was sitting on the mattress, trying to do home work with his head on my lap. I had given up a while ago, and was now playing with his hair.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously. My curiosity was aroused not by his words, but by the undercurrent of yearning in his voice when he said them.

"Well, I never get to see the outside world, do I? I'm always cooped up in this dingy attic with no real life except you. Sometimes I feel like I could just… fade away. You're my only connection to the real world, so…"

I stopped playing with his hair and looked deep into his beautiful green eyes, not knowing what to say. He was the one to break the awkward silence, grinning impishly, saying, "and here I am, wasting our time together wallowing in self pity."

"You're not wallowing in self pity… you're telling what you feel," I said, kissing his forehead.

"But you know the weird thing?"

"What?"

"I'm so thankful that everything turned out this way, and that I got stuck in here, just because otherwise, I never would have met you. I don't know what my life would have been like if I wasn't trapped here, but I do know that nothing, and no one, could ever have compared to being with you. Even if you forget me someday."

"Edward, how could you say that? Why would you imply that I might forget you?"

"No reason, really, just… it's just the truth. I didn't say it 'cause I think you'll forget me or anything… I know you won't."

For a while, I stared at his beautiful eyes, and then I kissed him.

After I pulled away, he pulled me back into his chest, and held me for a long moment.

Then he suddenly smiled, and asked- "Would you like to dance with me, milady?"

I laughed. "There's no music."

He started humming a tune that I had never heard before, but I loved it. It was slow and romantic, and made me want to dance with him.

"The problem is," I whispered as he pulled me to my feet, "I kind of suck at dancing."

He just winked, saying, "It's all in the leading," and wrapped his arms around my waist, while I wrapped mine around his neck.

We swayed, clinging together, my hair brushing against his cheek. After a while, the only thing that could be heard in the room was the sound of our heart beats, which was way, way faster than normal. The heat had gone up, and Edward suddenly seemed to realize that he had stopped humming. But before he could start again, I covered his lips with mine. This kiss was filled with more need than any kiss of ours, a kiss of not just love, but also lust. I pulled his hair while he dug into my shoulders and when it was over, I trailed kisses down his jaw, and bit his neck softly, making him hiss in pleasure.

I quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, running my hands on the smooth planes of his chest. He made no move to remove my T-shirt, and I impatiently pulled at it. His hands stopped me, though.

"What are you doing?" he asked. His voice sounded raw and husky.

"What does it look like?" I asked, smiling.

"No, Bella," he said, with great effort.

"You don't want me?" I couldn't hide the hurt in my voice.

"Of course I want you, my Bella, I want you more than you could imagine. But this is wrong. We're not married, and-"

"And we'll never be, Edward. That's the sad truth and we've got to face it."

"I know that, Bella. But if you meet someone that you want to marry someday, I don't want to have done this."

"Argh! Edward, I love you! Only you! When will you get it into your head that you're the only guy I'll ever want? And it's not like you're going to steal my virtue or anything- I'm not a virgin."

"Yes, you are."

"But Ja-"

"I know that. But in the real sense of the word, you still are, because you haven't yet given that to anybody. It's… well, it's a gift, Bella. And gifts can only be given, never stolen."

Maybe it was a silly theory. But somehow, his words healed me more than anything Carlisle had ever said.

"If it is a gift," I told him softly, "You're the only person I want to give it to. Trust me. Because I trust you."

He sighed. "My sweet, sweet Bella, that would be so unfair to you. I couldn't-"

"Do you think anyone would ever love me as much as you do, Edward?" I asked him.

He looked into my eyes, and answered honestly, his eyes glistening, "No."

"Then how could it be unfair, Edward? In fact, it would be unfair to me if you didn't do this. If you want to, of course," I added as an after thought.

"Of course I want to, my love,"

He then captured my lips with his. This time our kiss was tortuously slow, and filled with sweet, sweet desire. And this time when I started slipping off my T-shirt, he helped, his emerald eyes filled with a world of love, tenderness , wonder and adoration.

It was as we made love that night that I realized that what Edward had said about me being a virgin was true. Making love was not about taking, it was about giving and loving the fact that you're giving. Edward's tenderness, his gentleness and concern created such a contrast with my former experience that it brought tears to my eyes. And as we finally became one, I felt as though the heavens had exploded into earth and I was floating in a cloud of glorious nothingness with my Edward, while a thousand golden fireworks fell around us.

**AN- **

**DrawnToTheNight- it's okay that you didn't get to review, though I did miss you! Hope you'll get to review everything after this… thank you for reviewing!**

**MissVampireCullen- Robert looks so hot in your profile pic! Yay, you said you love me too! Lol… thanks for reviewing…**

**TheAngelOfHope, LovelyLovelyLovely, kselzer- I know that you guys, along with probably a lot more people, are confused about who the real Edward is. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it's meant to be for now, and for a few more chapters. The only thing I can tell you right now is- sorry for your confusion, but all of it will be cleared before the story ends. Hope you still enjoy it despite the confusion! But if you feel like you can't enjoy reading this while still being confused, you can ask me to PM you an outline of the story with the promise that you won't tell it to anyone. I don't recommend this at all, though, because I'm 100% sure that it will spoil the entire story for you. I personally think the confusion will be worth it. But I'll do it if that's what you want. **

**LovelyLovelyLovely- I think I mentioned in a chapter that Tobias used a spell which has to be renewed yearly to keep his body stuck at the age of 17. That's why Bella was so confused when Emmett told her that Edward Masen had childhood photos. Thank you for loving it, I love you!**

**goldeyedsoul- thank you for saying that my fic is great, so are you!**

**Princess Alara- yay, you gave me 5 out of 5 stars! Thank you, I love you! About the mistake you pointed out, though, I rechecked it and it says insisted 'on'. Maybe it was wrong in the PM I sent you- I sent it without checking. But thank you so much for telling me…**

**Color me Red- Thank you for loving this, I love you!**

**matena- thank you for calling me great- so are you!**

**twilight-vamp-sis- Thank you for telling the story keeps getting better, I was worried it might be getting too confusing for anyone to enjoy it… thank you for calling the last chapter great, hope you like this too…**

**Robsten Lover 223- Thank you for calling the chapter great… you're great too!**

**Everybody, I know that some of you must be disappointed about the time skip. The thing is, I didn't have a good idea about how to handle Carlisle and Bella's visits. There are more visits coming, though… and I promise I won't do a time skip again. I'm not counting the epilogue, of course, though I really haven't planned that yet.**

**I didn't write a lemon for this chapter because it's not M rated, and I know for a fact that some people reading this are younger than 18. **

**I also want to tell you all that Princess Alara has written a Twilight fic called To Love Once Again. It's really good and also has an awesome poem… go and check it out! And thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I love you all, please review this one too! And everybody else reading this, please review! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer- only the plot belongs to me. Every thing else belongs to Ms. Meyer.**

**CHAPTER 13**

I woke up in the middle of the night. Edward was awake, as he always was when with me, and was cuddled up next to me. He seemed to be deep in thought, and I enjoyed watching how the moon light played on his flawless skin, making him seem almost God like.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him. He smiled his crooked smile which made my heart melt.

"Just about how amazing you are."

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much?"

"Hmmm… about 1?" he laughed while I punched him, and said, nuzzling into me, "10, love. How can you ever doubt it?"

He suddenly pulled away and looked into my eyes, and I was taken aback at just how vulnerable he looked. "I love you so much, my Bella. So much."

"I know, baby," I told him softly, kissing his messy hair. "I love you too."

We stayed like that, holding each other, whispering, watching the stars. For some reason, I felt as though our time together was too precious to waste it by sleeping, even though I was going to go shopping with Renee early tomorrow morning.

Even when my watch beeped that it was 7.15, the time Charlie woke up, I felt loath to leave him. He was trying to get me to stay a bit longer as usual, but even he seemed to want it more than usual. But when 7.30 came around, he said softly, "I want you to stay, love, but Charlie must definitely be up and looking for you, now… you should go."

At that, I dragged myself away from him after one lingering kiss. At the attic door, I turned back to look at his sweet face, and the love in his eyes as he smiled sadly at me, before I went away.

When I came downstairs, I was surprised that Charlie was no where to be found. But before I could dwell on it, both he and Renee came through the front door.

"Oh, there you are, Bells, you had us worried," Charlie said. "I even went over to your Mom's place to see if you had gone over there."

"No, I was just… upstairs…"

"That reminds me of my plan for the day," Charlie said, closing the door and walking towards the kitchen, "I have to clean that attic."

"What? No, Dad! I'll do it!"

"No, you can't, there are lots of heavy stuff there, and I asked those Masen boys to help me."

"What? No! no, no, no!"

Both of them stopped in their tracks and stared at me, surprised.

"I'll do it, Dad!"

"Bella," he said, sounding annoyed now, "you can't. we both know you can't."

"Well there's no need to do it today, I-"

"Why not? What difference would the day make? I've waited far too long anyway."

"No, you haven't. And-"

"I have to leave now, I have to get the boys."

"No, Dad!"

Charlie just stood there, looking at me as though I was crazy.

"Bella, I genuinely don't understand why you care so much about us cleaning the attic!" he eyes widened, then narrowed. "Are you doing drugs?"

"What? No! why would you think that?"

Charlie just rolled his eyes, looking relieved. "Because you're behaving like you've hidden your secret stash in the attic!"

With that, he walked out the door before I could say anything more.

"Mom," I started pleading with her, "You've…" but what was the use in asking her for help? I had to do something. Now. Something that would divert Charlie's attention from the attic to something else. But what could I do, short of jumping off a- my eyes widened as I realized the only thing I could do. I would divert Charlie's attention from the attic to me. And the only way I could think of at that moment was for me to crash my car. Hopefully I wouldn't hurt myself too much, just enough for me to get his attention, and maybe get him to nurse me or something, while I figured out what I should do, whether there was any way I could move the mirror out of the attic. I knew I couldn't do it by myself, but if I managed to tell Rose and Alice too…

"I'll be back soon," I told Renee, running out the door, to her house. I knew where Renee kept her car keys- in a tiny bowl in the dining room- and I was heading there, ignoring her shouting, when she caught up to me, and held on to my shoulder.

"Let me go, Mom," I snapped, trying my best to push her away, but she was much stronger than me, and managed to hold on.

"You need to explain to me what's going on, Bella!"

"Mom, you don't understand, this is an emergency! Please let me-"

"This is about Edward, isn't it?" she asked, still holding on to me, her clear blue eyes locking into my own.

"Mom, you need to let me go, please!" the clock was ticking, and Charlie must already be at the Masen house now- maybe even picking up Emmett and Tobias.

"This is because, for some reason, you don't want him in your house."

"No, I-"

"Stop lying to me, Bella! You think I'm an idiot? You think I haven't been told how you yelled at him that day and that I haven't noticed how he goes out of his way to avoid you? Tell me why! What did he do? Did he hurt you, baby?"

I looked at the fierce expression on her face, her eyes so full of love.

"No, he- I- you wouldn't believe me if I told you, Mom. Please, I'll explain later, you just need to let me go now, it's really important!" I was crying now, still trying valiantly to push her away, while she still managed to hold on.

"How can you say that, Bella? When have I not believed anything you told me? Even when you told me what happened with James, I believed you. How can you doubt that I would now?"

I stared at her. Desperate times called for desperate measures. She wasn't letting me go. I was going to have to tell someone anyway, to move the mirror somewhere else. And Renee was the only one who had believed me about James. Even Rose hadn't until he raped her too. Renee was the one who always believed me.

And there was proof- I could show Edward- my Edward- to her. And after that, I could get her to keep it a secret, like she had kept the secret of what happened with James, and I could even get her to move the mirror out of the attic. Or maybe even help me in distracting Charlie- even though I knew she wouldn't let me get into an accident on purpose.

So I looked in my mother's eyes, and told her the truth.

I told her everything, leaving out the sex, and other details- and how Edward Masen was really Tobias. And I watched warily, as her eyes widened, and her expression turned from confusion to skepticism to… fear. Fear for my sanity.

I blinked hot, angry tears away. She was a liar. She had told me that she would believe me and now it was obvious that she didn't. Not even one bit. I had been so stupid, but I had proof. Her grip on my arm had slackened, so I gripped hers, and nearly dragged her out of her house to mine. I ran up to the attic, and motioned for her to open the door, and see for herself.

"Bella, honey," she said gently, but I interrupted harshly. There was no time for this, Tobias would be here anytime. "Just open the door and look in the mirror, Mom."

And she did. She stared at the mirror for a long moment. I couldn't see it, as I was standing by the side, outside the door, but I could see her. She just turned towards me, looking timid and frightened. "I don't see anything except a mirror, Bella."

"What? Look in the mirror! The reflection!" I said, stepping into the attic. The mirror was there, all right. I could see my reflection, and the reflection of my mother whose face revealed that she thought I was crazy. But the one reflection I always saw in this mirror was missing. Edward was gone.

**AN- I know, I know, a tiny chapter, with yet another cliffy! I know you all must feel like killing me right now, especially as I was a bit late in updating too… *scuttles under rock*. Sorry, I don't even have a good excuse for being late, I've just become addicted to the stories in fiction press. I'm currently reading one called Brier Wood, and it's really good. **

**Anyway, hope everyone had a great Christmas! Everybody, please review this chapter, and when you review, please tell me- do you think Edward Masen is a bad guy, or a good guy? The next chapter will answer this question, and I want to see how many of you will answer correctly. The other question is, what happened to Edward? Why wasn't he in the mirror? So please ****review, because reviews are what make me stop reading and start writing.**

**Color me Red- thank you for saying I'm great at writing, and thank you for reviewing… even I wish he really existed…**

**MissVampireCullen- yay, you loved the chapter! You won't be confused anymore after reading the next chapter…**

**Princess Alara- awww, you're a really nice person and great writer too! Thank you for loving my story, and I love it that you think it was the best chapter… btw, please update your story soon…**

**Kirstofferson- thank you for calling the chapter great, so are you! And thank you for reviewing…**

**matena- yes, something is going to happen… thank you for saying it was a great chapter :-)**

**Light1172- I loved your review! Thank you so much for all the compliments on the story… please review this chapter too!**

**monkeejunkee- Thank you for your wishes, hope you had a very merry Christmas too… So I'm going to ask you to try to guess the answer to your own question in the next review… is that really Tobias? **

**TheAngelOfHope- I love it that you thought the intimacy between them was sweet… and you will be less confused after the next chapter… please review this chapter too!**

**LovelyLovelyLovely- you won't be confused after reading the next chapter, but you won't discover the entire story line either. I'm glad you share Edward's theory about virginity, I share it too. I love it that you find this story addictive! Thank you for saying the story is great, so are you!**

**hannah9page- thank you for calling it amazing, and for reviewing!**

**inuyashafanwhitehair- I think this chapter answered your question, thank you so much for reviewing!**

**twilight-vamp-sis- thank you for saying the chapter is awesome, so are you! **

**Once again, everybody, please review, and sorry for the short chapter! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer- only the plot belongs to me- everything else belongs to S. Meyer. who I'm insanely jealous of.**

**Chapter warning- This chapter, and maybe even the one following it, will make you want to kill me. Worse, they will make you want to give up on this story. All I can say is, please trust me when I say that it will get much, much better. Please don't give up on this no matter how much you hate it right now, because if you hold on, it will DEFINETELY be worth it. I should also mention here that this chapter has a tiny bit of cursing. Tell me if you guys think I should change the rating.**

**Chapter 14**

"Edward?" I heard myself whisper, tugging at the mirror. "Edward!" this time it was a yell, but before I could do, or even think of anything else, I felt Renee wrap her arms around me and pull me away. Away from the mirror, from the attic.

"There is no Edward Cullen, Bella," she said softly, looking scared, sad and worried, all at the same time.

"No! there is! You don't understand-"

"I'll have to tell this to Carlisle," she said quietly. I hated her with a passion at that moment, hated her for how defeated she sounded, for the tears threatening to fall from her eyes, for the lies she had told about always believing me.

"You can't do that! You can't break my trust like that!"

"You don't understand, Bella. I have to. For your own good-"

"No! I'm not crazy, God damn it! I'm telling the truth!" I tried to get up to go back inside the attic, but Renee held me back.

"Please, Bella, only Carlisle. And he won't tell anyone else, and neither will I…"

"No!" I hated her even more at those words, for getting ready to betray my confidence, for probably feeling ashamed that her only child was a lunatic. Or so she thought.

"What's going on here?" I heard Charlie's alarmed voice ask, and whipped my head back, but the person I dreaded to see- Tobias- wasn't there. Only Emmett and Charlie stood there, looking concerned.

I was going to try to cover it up, but then I realized that this was quite similar to the distraction I had tried to create by crashing Renee's car. This was what I needed. So when Renee tried to cover for me, with a lame "Nothing, we were just having a disagreement," I said quickly, "No, it's not nothing. We- we need privacy, to talk more." anything to divert their attention from the attic and get them out of here. But then Renee ruined it all by asking Charlie softly, "Was Carlisle home?"

"Yes."

"Can you drop us there? I'm not really fit for driving right now, and we need to visit him."

"No," I stated firmly and angrily, but Renee just gave me a pleading look. She seemed to understand the main reason for my hesitation, though, and, after closing her eyes for a second, then opening them, she asked Charlie softly, "Can you do me another favor, please? Can you not clean the attic today- clean someplace else, maybe?"

Maybe all those years of being married had paid off, because Charlie didn't ask why. He just gave us both a long look, and nodded. Then he asked Emmett to make himself at home while he dropped us at Carlisle's house. I tried to give Emmett a consoling, I'm okay look when we were leaving, but it came out as a grimace and probably worried him even more.

I had never dreaded Carlisle's office more. Over the months, I had come to not mind these visits. They really had helped me, and probably played a big part in me not being hesitant to make love to Edward. Who was missing. But I tried not to think about that as I stared at Carlisle's shoes, carefully avoiding his eyes. Because thinking about that just made me want to scream in frustration and run back to the mirror.

Today, though, I was dreading the moment Carlisle was going to open his mouth. He had already spent an hour talking to Renee earlier, while she probably told him my biggest secret. I hated her.

"I think we both know why you're here today, Bella." I hated him too. Hated him because his voice sounded different- softer. I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't known him so well, but I had spent four months talking to him an hour or two a week, and I knew when he was talking as though walking on egg shells. And his use of the tone now made me realize that he, along with Renee, thought I was insane. And I hated him for it.

"Yeah. Because you two think I'm a nut case," I said bluntly. There was no use beating around the bush now. The sooner we addressed the elephant in the room, the sooner I could get the hell out of here.

"We don't think that, Bella."

"Like you'd admit it if you did."

The corner of his mouth turned up slightly. "Much more forward today, aren't we? And direct. Hmmm. Can't say that I don't like it."

"You mean to say I'm rude today. Whatever, just get to the point." my words were rude, because he seemed to like it that way- which proves that he's the one that needs help- but they had lost their edge, because his tone wasn't the soft one he had used earlier, it was his normal tone.

"Well, Bella, I think you know that your mother told me everything. You should know that I will never tell what she told to anyone else- patient doctor confidentiality- and that she won't tell anyone else either. So is there anything you want to tell me? Anything you want to add?"

"Not really."

"Would you like to describe the situation in your own point of view?"

"No."

He sighed. "May I tell you my opinion?"

"Whatever." Anything to make the accursed hour pass, and then I can get out of this hell hole, I thought.

"I think you were hallucinating."

"Of course. I agree." the sooner I agreed, the sooner I got out of there.

"You agree?"

"Yes."

"May I explain further?"

"Sure."

"Have you heard of schizophrenia?"

"No."

"It's a psychiatric disorder. It's usual symptoms include hallucinating, conspiracy theories- imagining that people are out to get you- these are called delusions of persecution, avolition- no longer interested in going out and meeting friends, or activities that the person used to show interest for, social isolation- spends most of the day alone or only with close family… it's warning signs include social withdrawal, hostility or suspiciousness, deterioration of personal hygiene, depression, odd or irrational statements. It can be caused by genetic problems or high levels of stress. Physical or sexual abuse is a stress inducing factor. There are three main types of schizophrenia, but the most common one, and what I think you have, is paranoid schizophrenia."

My heart was thudding uncomfortably in my chest, and all thoughts of complacently agreeing with whatever Carlisle said flew out the window. Some of the symptoms he mentioned were too eerily similar to my behavior for me to stay quiet. "No," I said harshly, repeating it again loudly. "No! I don't have schizophrenia!"

"Denial is very common among patients, Bella," he said gently.

"DON"T USE THAT TONE WITH ME! I don't have that!"

"Bella, please-"

"You don't understand me! Edward Cullen is real! I had sex with him for God's sake!"

"he was a hallucination, Bella."

"No!"

"Then why didn't you see him when your mother was there? Why do you only see him when you're alone?"

"I don't know, but…." I thought for a moment. I was standing up now, and my chair was knocked to the floor. "He made me a paper rose! I can show you! I even told Renee that!"

"Renee told me that, too, Bella. She also said that you had a Japanese nanny who knew origami- that you used to make paper roses as a child.

"No, I… I didn't know your son then! Why would I hallucinate someone who looked exactly like him, before I even met him?"

"I don't know, Bella, but are you sure that you didn't know him? We used to be Renee's neighbors, you can't be sure that you didn't see a picture of him-"

"I'm sure!"

"Then maybe Edward has an explanation," he said, and before I could realize what was happening and protest, he had walked to the door, opened it, put his head out and called loudly for Edward. After about three minutes of Carlisle yelling his name, Tobias came into the room.

"Edward, did you know Bella before you came to Forks? Do you know anything regarding Renee showing her a photo of you and the others, or anything?"

He lifted his eyes to me almost shyly, and his likeness to my Edward felt like a knife in my heart. "I don't know anything about that, you'd have to ask Renee. But we did sort of see each other before coming to Forks."

"What? No, you're lying!" I hissed at him.

"No, Bella. I sent you a friend request in face book as soon as Renee mentioned we were going to be in the same school at Forks. And you… you accepted it. I had a photo of me as my profile picture. I still have the same picture."

"You liar!" I shouted. "I rarely go to face book, and I'm certain I didn't accept any friend request from you- I would have remembered it."

"You can login from my Dad's computer and see," he said quietly, motioning towards Carlisle's computer. I ran up to it, and turned it on. I would prove him wrong. I would prove them both wrong. Once I logged in, I didn't have to search my friends. His status was there, along with the status's of my other friends who had recently written a new status. But the fact that he was a friend wasn't what stopped my heart. It wasn't even his name- Edward Cullen Masen. It was because in his profile picture, he was wearing the exact same clothes I had first seen Edward in. The same odd yet handsome 18th century coat, with the same high collar.

"I was in a play at school, that was taken that day," he explained, unaware that my head had started spinning, and I was finding it hard to breathe. "We became friends in face book months before I came here, Bella."

I was dimly aware that Carlisle asked him to leave, and that he was asking Carlisle if I was okay. I was dimly aware that Carlisle was talking- "His picture must have stayed in your subconscious mind, and you were lonely, so your mind created a hallucination using him. As soon as you heard he was coming, the conspiracy theory kicked in-" I remembered that I had being reading Tobias's journal and how he planned to come back while listening to Renee tell Mrs. Mallory how the Masen's were moving to Forks, along with Edward- "but don't worry, Bella. With the right medication and therapy, you'll recover, as do 70% of the people suffering from this and you will go on to lead a normal life…."

He was saying more, but I couldn't really register anything else. What killed me wasn't that I had a psychotic disorder- I could deal with that. It was the fact that the one person I loved more than anything in my life, the one person I lived for, was nothing but a hallucination. And that was my last conscious thought before I blacked out.

I woke up to a concerned looking Carlisle and Renee. I had been laid down on the couch in Carlisle's room. As soon as I convinced them that I was fine, Carlisle announced that our session was over. I thought that he would also announce my diagnosis, but he didn't say anything about that. He wanted to leave the dirty work to me, I suppose.

He did give me a new prescription including antipsychotic drugs , an antidepressant and a mood-stabilizer. He gave a brief warning about their side effects and that they might not work- apparently a lot of experiments might have to be done before we found the drug which was right for me.

Then I asked Renee to leave me there while she went home. I didn't want to be with her- I wanted to be with people who didn't think I was a lunatic (Carlisle spent most of his time in his office anyway), and I owed a huge, embarrassing apology to another Masen who spent most of his time inside his room.

Tobias- no, I should call him Edward now- but that just made me want to kill myself, so I settled on calling him Eddie- he had once asked me to call him that too. Eddie opened the door almost as soon as I knocked, but his eyes widened as he realized it was me.

"I didn't expect you," he said honestly. And I started crying. I couldn't help it- he looked so much like my Ed- my hallucination that it broke my heart. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, apologizing, and then he pulled me into a hug.

**AN- I'm sorry that Edward Cullen isn't real. As I said earlier in the chapter warning- please, please don't give up on this story. I know you hate the way it's going, but just hold on for a few more chapters- it will definitely be worth it. I swear. I'll even make my updates faster and more regular- I'll update every other day- so that you won't have to endure this part of the story for too long.**

**I googled all the information about schizophrenia, and even though I think all of it is correct, there might be mistakes. If there are, and you know it, please tell me. I'll try to change it. But please don't give me grief about it because this is a story, not something aimed to detail schizophrenia- there are some allowances that I might have to make for it to fit the story. I hope I didn't offend anyone by this- I certainly didn't mean to, and if I did, I'm truly sorry.**

**Spooky Pumpkin- thank you for saying my story is great, I think you are, too :-)****… btw, Robert is SO hot in your pic.**

**TheAngelOfHope- so you're right! Bella IS… well, not crazy, but she has schizophrenia.**

**MissVampireCullen- thank you for saying the chapter was nice, I know you won't say that about this one! About the rest of your review… well, you're wrong. I know you're disappointed, but like I said earlier, please just hold on without giving up for this chapter and the next.**

**ReneeGoetz- I loved your review! I love it when anyone calls this addicting, though this chapter must have cured all addictions :-(****. please review this chapter too...**

**Jendenise0901- you were right, Renee did think Bella was crazy… thank you so much for reviewing…**

**monkeejunkee- so I guess you were wrong for the first time. All I can say is, please don't hate me, and review this too…**

**123D123D- Dun Dun Dunn! You get the guessing prize, because you, and only you, guessed correctly!**

**hannah9page- yay! You called this the best story yet! **

**Robsten Lover 223- thank you for calling the chapters and story cool, so are you!**

**star-night-love14- thank you for loving the story, I love you!**

**StrawberryMopet- thank you for loving the chapter, though I doubt you'll say that about this one… but please review this one too!**

**Princess Alara- yay, you love this fic and called it the best fic ever! I just hope you won't want to take it back after this chapter… btw, you're getting late to update To Love Once Again *pouts*. I just can't wait to see what happens to Cecile…**

**twilight-vamp-sis- thank you so much for reviewing… I guess this chapter answered your question, despite the fact that you hate the answer… please review this chapter too…**

**Kirstofferson- thank you for loving my story, I love you! I feel so happy that the longest review you've ever done was for my story! Yay!**

**LovelyLovelyLovely- yeah, I told you he was good because technically he is… a hallucination can't be a bad person, when he's not even a real person… thank you for loving the chapter and reviewing, I hope you'll review this one too…**

**goldeyedsoul- thank you for loving my fic, I love you… please review this chapter too…**

**Light1172- thank you for calling the chapter amazing and I know you think Edward is sweet so I'm sorry that he turned out to be a hallucination… please continue reading the next few chapters before giving up on this story, though…**

**I have a few more things to say… 123D123D has written a great fic called A Swan's Story, so go check that out! **

**Please review this chapter. You're allowed to scold me all you want. It really will break my heart if you don't review, though. And please just wait for this chapter and the next to be over, you'll start liking it again, I guarantee. And just think- Masen or Cullen, it's still Edward, right? **


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter warning- cutting will be mentioned. And I give the same appeal as the earlier chapter… please wait for the next chapter before you give up on this story. Please.**

**This chapter is dedicated to all those people who reviewed, and who still have this on their favorites and/or alerts despite the last chapter being a disappointment. Thank you, you're the reason I'm writing. And trust me, it'll be worth it.**

**CHAPTER 15**

Eddie led me to his bed, and closed his bed room door gently. I sat on the bed while he sat on a chair. It felt strange; in a second, I had gone from hating him and calling him a liar to crying on his shoulder.

"I'm…" I began, but couldn't continue. I felt so ashamed of admitting it. Eddie was obviously confused, and yet he looked concerned as well.

"I'm sorry for being so cruel to you," I said softly. He nodded. "It's fine, Bella. I can't say that it didn't hurt, or that I knew why you did it, but it's fine."

"I did it because…"

"It's okay, Bella. You don't have to explain if you don't want to. Unless Dad told you that it would help you heal or something… I just hope that I didn't do anything wrong. If I did, I didn't-"

"No, Eddie, you did nothing wrong. And no, Carlisle didn't ask me to do this, but I have to say this. You need to understand. I… I have schizophrenia. Do you know what that is?"

He nodded to the affirmative. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he said softly, and I could see the shock and sadness behind his green eyes.

"It's not your fault," I said, shrugging.

"You… apologizing… does this mean you're ready to be friends with me?" he asked tentatively. I felt my eyes widen in surprise. "You still want to be friends with me? After the way I treated you, after knowing I have schizophrenia?"

He nodded again. "Of course! I always wanted to be friends with you."

"Then definitely," I said, trying to smile, but failing.

I spent the rest of the day there. It was better than usual, because Alice and Emmett were happier that Eddie was hanging out with us, and that there was no tension between us. I didn't tell Alice and Emmett about my diagnosis- I had asked Eddie to keep it a secret. In a day, he had become my best friend. But that night, as my pillow got drenched with tears and I tried to tell myself that it would all be okay, I needed Edward more than ever. He was the only one who knew just what to say to make me feel better- he was the missing part of me. It figured that my subconscious had made him up- that was why he had matched me so perfectly. I thought about how we had made love that last day, how could I have imagined that? How could I have imagined the love in his eyes?

"Edward," I whimpered into the pillow, tugging at my hair. "I wish I never found out that I have schizophrenia. Because I would much rather be insane with you, than be sane without you." I tried to hallucinate him there with me, but I couldn't. "Darn the medication," I muttered angrily. I fell asleep trying, and failing, to hallucinate him lying next to me.

Things at school were better, because Eddie sat with us now. He was fun to be with, and I could bear it even though he looked like Edward, because, well, I saw Edward every where I looked, anyway, and Eddie's expressions and the things he said were obviously different. I even called him Edward sometimes- no one really called him Eddie anyway, and it was his name. The first time he had started sitting with us was that day, the day after discovering that I had schizophrenia. I went and sat down at our usual lunch table. I was listening to Rose when I saw Edward walking to his table with his lunch, head down. He smiled shyly when he caught my eye, and would have continued walking to his table, had I not motioned for him to join us.

I was walking down the hallway in school with Edward, when I told him, "Please don't tell anyone else that I have schizophrenia. I'm not… ready yet. When I am, I'll tell them myself."

He nodded. "I won't tell, I promise."

"Don't break it," I told him, trying to grin, but failing. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I smile? But he smiled for me, and said softly, "I've never broken a promise I made to you, and I never will."

I stared at him, confused. "What other promise-"

But my question was interrupted by the sound of the bell, and we both went into our respective classes. I sat down, saving a seat for Alice, who would join me. Sure enough, she hurried in a while later, and sat next to me, immediately starting to chatter about some restaurant she and Jasper had gone to. After a while, though, she must have realized that I wasn't paying attention, because she suddenly asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"Well, Edward told me a while earlier that he had never broken any promises he made to me, and I was wondering what they were…" and I realized then what the promises were. He had promised me that he wouldn't sit with us at lunch until I asked him to, and he had done just that. He had kept the promise about not coming to my house too- he probably had refused when Charlie asked him for help to clean the attic, at the risk of everyone thinking that he was being rude.

After that class, we had a free period, and I wandered towards the usual direction my legs took me during a free period- the library. It looked empty as usual, and I walked slowly towards my usual corner, grabbing some much loved books as I went. It was then that I heard the voices of Emmett and Rose. They were obviously sitting in my usual corner, which had become Rose's corner, too, now. I couldn't see them as they were covered by a tall book case.

"He loves her," I heard Emmett say. I turned to leave, not wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation, but Rosalie's exclamation made me freeze on the spot.

"Edward loves Bella? Why?"

"What do you mean, why?" Emmett asked.

"I mean, I know she was nice to him today, but she obviously hated him for so long… I don't know if he deserved it or not, but she was so mean to him…"

"Well, I think it was love at first sight for him or something like that. That was why he went out of his way to please her… even if that meant torturing himself… and isn't it obvious by the way he looks at her?"

"Yeah, it's really cute how he blushes when she says something nice…"

"Would you believe that she's the first girl he's ever loved?"

"awww… that's so sweet! I really hope it works out… I know she thinks he's good looking…"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, Rose, don't tell this to anyone, okay? Edward told me not to tell anyone…"

Rose giggled. "Then why are you telling me?"

"Because you don't fall into the anyone category."

"Which category do I fall into, then?"

"Hmmm…. Probably… THE one category."

Rose was silent. She was probably blushing. "You know how I feel about you, Rose… you know I love you… please just give me a chance…"

"No, Em. I don't even trust guys enough to be alone with one anymore."

"Well, look around. Does it look as though we're surrounded by people? You're alone with me, Rosalie. Because you trust me. I know you do. You just have to admit it to yourself."

She heaved a frustrated sigh. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I do. But you don't want a girl friend like me, Em. Trust me, you don't. Because I never want to have sex again. Ever."

"That's okay. I can't say that I'd like it better than having sex, but if the choice is between you and sex, well then, there's no choice, Rose. I'd give up my life to have you, so what's sex? Besides, I can always jerk o-"

I heard the sound of Rose slapping Emmett, then the two of them giggling.

After a while, she said, "The answer is still no. I can't do that to you, it would be unfair."

He groaned. "At least say you'll consider it…"

"All right, then, I'll consider it."

"YES!"

I slowly walked away amid their giggles. Their interaction made me happy, and I wished I could smile, but I couldn't. And I felt so bad that Eddie was in love with me. How could it have happened? I knew I could never fall in love with anyone again, because I was still in love with… my own hallucination. Who looked exactly like Edward. If there was anyone I could even imagine being with, wasn't it Edward Masen? But I wanted my Edward so badly. All of a sudden, the pain of missing him became just too much, and I felt like screaming. I needed my Edward! Where were my hallucinations when I needed them? I tore open my back pack angrily and pulled the pills out, and stuffed them in the garbage. Then I ran down the hallway towards the toilet, my mind filled with the crazy idea that maybe if I looked in the girl's toilet mirror, I would hallucinate him there.

I ran like a mad woman, panting. The hallway was empty, thankfully, and so was the girls' toilet. I started at my reflection in the mirror, at my red rimmed eyes full of tears, and blinked, trying to go inside the mirror. I couldn't. I just stood there, waiting for my Edward to appear. "Darn the medications!" I yelled, and punched the mirror, watching it break into a thousand pieces. Pain ran through my hand, and I watched the blood dripping from it, satisfied. I suddenly heard voices outside, and fear filled my gut. If anyone saw what I had done, not only would I have to pay for the damage, I'd be labeled as crazy. I wasn't- just angry and insanely frustrated. I just missed him. My heart in my throat, I grabbed a shard of the mirror from the mess on the ground, and slipped inside a cubicle, locking it hastily. Just then, I heard someone enter the toilet. "Oh my God!" I heard a lady's voice. "Ms Hoffman! Come quick!" she shouted, and I held my breath. "Is anyone here?" she asked again. Then another voice- probably Ms Hoffman, the principal, said- "This cubicle knob has blood on it! Open the door, whoever you are! Stacey call security…"

Panic bubbled up, and I found it hard to breathe. Just then, someone began pounding on the door.

My vision blurred with tears, I saw the window above me, and climbed on the toilet seat, and jumped out the window just as the cubicle door burst open. "They went through the window!" I heard someone shout as I ran for all I was worth, through the school grounds, down the woods, ran, ran, ran till I was breathless and I fell on the ground. I could only pray that no one would notice my absence in school and connect it with the broken mirror.

7 years of bad luck, I thought glumly, picking out pieces of glass that were stuck to my hand. If I walked home like this, I would definitely give Renee a heart attack, so I did the only reasonable thing- I called Edward. I dialed the number I had saved only yesterday, and listened to the rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Edward, it's me, Bella." for some reason I felt dizzy- then I realized that it must be because of my wound and the blood loss.

"Bella? Where are you? Some things going on in school-"

"I know. I'm in the meadow in the woods nearby. Can you please come and get me?"

"What are you- okay, I'm coming, but-"

"And try to bring some bandages or something…"

"Bandages? Are you hurt?" the concern in his voice touched me.

"Don't panic… but yeah, kind of. Please be here as soon as you can."

"I will, bye, stay there."

"Okay bye…"

I lay down and stared at the patch of blue sky above me. I missed my Edward so much… I couldn't help it. I needed to get my mind off him, or else I would go insane. I gripped the shard of the mirror I had grabbed from the toilet, and quickly cut the wrist of my unharmed left arm using it. Then I concentrated on the pain, wishing it would make me forget my hallucination.

By the time Eddie got there, I was almost asleep. His quick footsteps woke me up, though, and I watched as his eyes widened at my state.

"Don't tell anyone," I pleaded with him. He nodded, and quietly began cleaning my wounds.

"Don't you think you should tell Carlisle?"

"No."

"You should."

"You won't tell him, right?"

"No, of course not. Will you tell me what happened?"

"I… punched the mirror in the girls toilet."

"Is that what all the commotion in school about?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

I sighed. "I was just… frustrated, I guess. Angry. I don't know." I didn't want to tell him that I missed a hallucination. He nodded his head slowly, like he understood. He still looked sad, though.

"And this?" he asked, bandaging my left wrist.

"I… cut myself."

He closed his eyes. "Why?"

"Because… I just needed to."

"Would you stop if I asked you to?"

"I just need to do it," I mumbled, but then my breath caught in my throat as I felt a weird sense of deja vu. This felt like a repeat telecast of my hallucination, and I watched, almost expecting him to snatch the shard from the ground and cut himself, like my Edward had done. But he just said "please don't," with tears in his eyes, and I snapped back into reality.

"I'll try to stop," I told him.

After bandaging all my wounds, Edward helped me up and we walked towards Esme's car, which he had parked nearby. He helped me in, while softly explaining how he had sneaked out of school after getting a toilet pass. We then talked about other things, such as how he got adopted by the Masen's, and how he was closer to Emmett than to Alice.

He drove to my house and parked by the back door like I told him to do. I got down once he parked, and waited for him to get down, too. He just stayed in the car, though, smiling, and then said bye.

"What? You're going? Won't you come in?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Of course I do!"

He smiled, and followed me inside. I locked the door after us, then led him to my room. I sat on the bed, inviting him to sit beside me, which he did, almost shyly.

"Tell me something about you," he said after a while. "Something I don't know."

"You ask, I'll answer."

"Hmmm… have you ever been in love?"

I just stared at him, not really seeing him. Visions of my Edward's lips pressing against mine, of our bodies meeting in the sweetest of pleasures, of him giving me the paper rose, of him holding me, filled my head. I had no doubt that what I had felt for him- what I still felt for him- was love. But could loving a hallucination be really counted as love?

"I don't know, Edward," I told him. "It's complicated." understatement of the century. "What about you? Have you ever been in love?" I regretted the question as soon as I asked it, remembering Rose and Em's conversation. Edward blushed slightly and said "yes," softly. Then, in an obvious ploy to change the subject, he asked quickly, "What's your favorite color?"

We talked for hours like that, till it was time for him to leave. Edward was quite forward once he got over his initial shyness. Besides, I suspected the shyness was just due to his having a crush on me. After I told him about throwing away my medicine, he got the prescription from me and bought the same ones from the pharmacy, and wouldn't even let me pay for it. After that, he went home, after giving me a shy good night kiss on the cheek.

**AN- I'm feeling a little sad. Despite my pleas for everyone not to give up on the story, that you just have to wait and it'll be worth it, a couple of people have removed this from their alerts. It's sad because I'm only used to seeing the number of alerts go up, and not down. **

**Okay, enough with wallowing in self pity. But seriously, hold on, it WILL get better. **

**Randoms1- thank you for being in love with my story, I love you! Sorry, but moving the mirror to Bella's room is just not reasonable at this point in the story… anyway, thank you for the awesome reviews!**

**Kirstofferson- Glad I could take you by surprise, that was what I was aiming for… and thank you for thinking that the chapter is great, so are you!**

**TheAngelOfHope- I'm glad it cleared everything up, thank you for the awesome review!**

**MissVampireCullen- thank you for loving the chapter and for reviewing, really glad it was unexpected for you…**

**twilight-vamp-sis- I'm really happy that it was an unexpected twist for you :-)****… thank you so much for the review…**

**Cindy- you have reviewed chapter 5 and I don't know when you'll read this, but yeah, I agree with you. And he will be put in his spot later on… ;-)**

**hilndgirl- thank you for saying wow! I love it that you weren't expecting the twist… thank you for saying great job!**

**LovelyLovelyLovely- thanks so much for liking the twist… but I have to say something here- Edward Masen never talked to Bella on facebook- he just sent her a friend request and she confirmed it. Which was stupid of her because she didn't know him, but maybe the reason for that was her schizophrenia too, maybe… but I'll explain that in the chapters to come.**

**Princess Alara- Hmmm, you don't think she's crazy? About the cussing, I'm really sorry. I won't do it in any other chapters. I myself don't mind cussing, because it seems like just some more words. But I'd hate for you, or anyone else to feel uncomfortable just because of a few words that aren't needed for the story anyway. I removed the most obvious word from the last chapter too, I didn't have the time to read all of it. Thank you for calling my story addicting, so is yours. I've never read the Hunger Games. Will I still fully understand your fic even if I haven't read it? **

**Jendenise0901- I know, it's sad. But it'll get better. Your welcome… actually I want to finish this story before I go to college, hence the quick updates. Happy new year to you too! xoxo**

**vivx-chan- yes, it's sad, and yes, she'll be okay one day… thank you for reviewing!**

**star-night-love14- thank you for loving it and reviewing, I love you! **

**Reneegoetz- yeah, she gets to fall in love with Edward… thank you for the long review… **

**AlleyjandroJacobie- you're still confused? :-(****… thank you for telling me, though, so I can try to clear it up. Well, Edward was never in the mirror, because there was no such person as Edward Cullen from 1918- he was just a hallucination of Bella's. Bella had this hallucination because she has schizophrenia, a mental illness. I know that's disappointing but please hold on for the next few chapters, it will be worth it. Thank you for loving the story… feel free to PM me if you want to know anything more…**

**goldeyedsoul- yeah, but it will get better... thank you for calling it great, so are you! **

**hannah9page- you think it's a nice surprise? :-) thank you for reviewing, please review this chapter too!**

**one2love- yeah, it's sad, and yeah, she gets better. thank you for reviewing...**

**monkeejunkee- glad to hear you love a good twist... thank you for loving it and for reviewing always... love you!**

**Robsten Lover 223- Thank you for loving it, I love you! **

**I won't get to wish you guys tomorrow, so I'll tell you today- Happy New Year! Hope all of you have the greatest year during which all your wishes come true… and I know everyone will be busy, but I really hope you won't be too busy to take the time to drop a tiny review, 'cause I really need it… (and I know I sound kinda pathetic, but never mind :-))**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just a fan playing with it. The plot, however, belongs to me.**

**AN- This chapter is ****NOT**** THE END. There are more chapters to go. I repeat, this is not the end. **

**I'm kind of nervous about putting up this chapter… well, here goes. **

**CHAPTER 16**

Edward's arms wrapped themselves around me and I snuggled into him. I looked into his beautiful green eyes, darkened with desire as he pulled the sheet away from us. I just clung to him. Making love to him was like dancing some beautiful, perfectly synchronized dance that only the two of us knew the steps for.

"I love you so much, my Bella," he whispered huskily.

"I love you too… you're so perfect…"

"That's because I'm not real."

"Huh?"

I suddenly woke up, and the reality that Edward wasn't real set in like a familiar cold knife in my stomach. It had been a month since I learnt that I had schizophrenia. A month of torture. The pain was blunt now- always there, weighing me down, but I had learnt to cope in my own way. I didn't go around smashing mirrors anymore, I had simply returned to cutting myself. But now, it wasn't my wrists, it was other places- places much more easily hidden- my thighs, my stomach. It wasn't as if I'd ever like any guy enough to show them those parts of me anyway, so I didn't care about the scars.

I crawled down to the floor, and lifted the loose floorboard where I had hidden my stash- two penknives, half a dozen razor blades. I shakily grabbed a penknife and began my morning routine.

Many things had changed in one month. I had… died inside. I don't know the how's and why's of this, and I don't know how to explain any more. I had simply forgotten how to smile, no matter how much my friends tried to make me. Emmett went out of his way in this, trying various things ranging from standing on his head in the café to making rude jokes full of innuendos in the class room. And I tried, too. But each time I attempted smiling, I just ended up grimacing.

Speaking of Emmett, he and Rose had started dating. They had been on three dates and hadn't even kissed yet- not even on the cheek. But I think it was the best way for Rose, and slowly, she was starting to heal.

The only other thing that had changed was Edward and my friendship. We had grown much more closer. Maybe it was inevitable, because Rose and Em always hung out together, and Ali and Jasper always hung out together. And it was common knowledge that Edward loved me- Em could never manage to keep a secret, and Edward had asked me out once. I refused, though I felt bad at hurting him, which was inevitable.

Despite the slight awkwardness that that refusal had created, we still hung out together all the time. We studied in each others houses, mostly mine. He had rapidly become my best friend.

As for my sessions with Carlisle, they could be described with two words- no progress. Maybe my having no hallucinations whatsoever could be described as progress, but that was probably due to the medication or the fact that I never went to the attic anymore. Charlie had locked it anyway. I don't know if he had ever cleaned it or not.

As I dressed for school, a memory from about four days ago slipped involuntarily into my mind. It was the day Edward had asked me out. It had been raining, and we were standing in his garden, waiting till I dug out Renee's car keys so I could drive myself home. As I tried to dig through the mess in my hand bag, he suddenly said something- I don't remember what- and I looked up to realize that his face was just inches from mine. And in that moment, he looked so like my Edward that I forgot myself. I leaned forward, as did he, but as soon as our lips touched, it felt wrong somehow, and I pulled away. It was then that he had gasped out- "Bella, will you go out with me some time?"

"Out… as in… a date?"

He nodded nervously.

"I… it's too soon, Edward. Not now… not so soon…"

"But maybe some day in the future?"

I nodded. Hallucination he maybe, but I knew that I loved my Edward- my hallucination. I knew that no matter how much I tried, I would never fall in love with anyone else. So the main reason I said maybe later was to let him down easily- he was just asking for a date, did people refuse a date so out rightly, anyway? Especially when the offer came from your closest friend? A tiny part of the reason was that Edward Masen looked exactly like him, and a selfish part of me wanted him to… I don't know what. Hold on? No, that was too cruel. Maybe just want to give me a try so that… so that I would finally give in and date him, and maybe be… normal. But I knew that that was an impossibility.

That morning, the Masen's came to our house in Esme's car to pick me up. We picked Rose up after that. It was a bit crowded in the back seat, but it was fun enough for us to do it every day.

I spent quite a bit of time chatting with Rose near my locker (did I mention that Edward had cleaned that lying whore sign?) about her and Em, which made both of us get late for our first class. I ran towards the class room, knowing that Edward, who had that class with me would have saved me a seat. But I was greeted by an empty class room with a message scribbled on the board, announcing that the teacher was absent and that it was a free period.

I dragged my feet towards the library, wondering where Edward was. Normally, he would have waited for me. The library was empty, and I piled my arms with familiar classics, and sat down in my corner. I searched through a book to read… I wasn't in the mood for Pride and Prejudice, or Emma, and the next book was Wuthering Heights. I was in the mood to re read that, but I didn't need to borrow it from the library, I owned a copy, and it was in my locker, if I remembered correctly. I slowly stood up and walked towards my locker, hoping to run into Edward along the way. When I reached it, I had to start a full fledged search as my locker was a huge mess and I didn't remember when I had last seen the book. When I finally fished it out, it evoked tender memories as usual. This was the book Edward had given me as my birthday- wait. A. Second. This book wasn't really supposed to exist, right? I looked at the beautiful, yet obviously ancient leather bound book. Had I fished this out by myself from a box in the attic and imagined that Edward gave it to me? I turned it to the first page. What was written there had become familiar, but I definitely hadn't expected to see it because I had taken my medications. Because, written there, in an elegant hand which most definitely wasn't mine and which I wouldn't be able to imitate even if I tried to, were the words- Gifted to Isabella Swan by Edward Cullen, on the 13th of September, 2010. Happy Birthday, my Bella. I love you.

He had written the words months after gifting it to me, when he had seen me reading it. My heart suddenly started thudding so fast I thought it would burst. What was going on? Was I hallucinating again? At that moment, Emmett walked out of the boys' toilet.

"Hey Bella," he said, grinning. "What are you-"

"Can you read this?" I asked him, shoving the book under his nose.

"Of course I…" his eyes widened, as did his grin when he finished reading it. "Were you guys even friends back then? A book, huh? I didn't know he even read that much, but-"

"Can you please read what is written there aloud?"

"Huh? Why? Well… it says, gifted to Isabella Swan by Edward Cullen on the 13th of September, 2010. Happy Birthday, my- whoa, he's calling you MY? Haha, nice- Bella. I love you. I can't believe he told you all this back then.. . Come to think of it, this isn't even his hand writing, must have asked someone with nice handwriting to do it for him or something…"

My head was spinning. If Emmett could read that too, it wasn't a hallucination. Besides, I had even taken my medicine, which Carlisle had agreed worked for me. Which could only mean one thing… I didn't have schizophrenia, and Edward Cullen was real. He just hadn't appeared that one time, and I had been an idiot. But Edward Masen… he was my friend, right? Or was he?

"Emmett, where's Edward?"

"He didn't tell me where he went, but he did take the car keys from me… why?"

I just shook my head. No, it couldn't be… he couldn't have gone to my house to destroy the mirror, he had all this time to do it… But could it? Could I take a chance? I ran to find the one person I could ask for help right now, the one person I knew that had had first period with me so he was free now- Jasper Whitlock. And the fact that he didn't let anyone else drive his car, the keys for which I was just about to request? Well, I just chose to ignore that and hope for the best.

I found him in the place where he had used to hang out mostly when we were friends- the gym. He was working out.

"Jasper!" I gasped, breathless. "Can I please, PLEASE have your car keys? It's an emergency!"

He looked surprised at first, and I thought he would just laugh at me for asking. But he just threw me the keys. He must have seen the shock on my face- I hadn't expected to get them so easily, if at all- so he smiled, and explained, "You said it's an emergency. A friend is more important than a car."

"Thank you," I said breathlessly, and started sprinting away. When I was at the gym door, though, he called out, "Bella!"

"Yeah?" I asked, thinking that I would just run if he wanted the keys back.

"Be safe."

I nodded again, surprised.

"And Bella" he asked when I turned again.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. For not… believing you. We weren't that close back then, but I should have taken your side when James accused you… I honestly fell for his act. I believe you now, because I've realized that you're not the kind of person to lie about something like that, and I'm sorry for being such a crappy friend and not sticking by you when you needed it. I know I can never make it up to you but… you should know that I missed you."

I simply didn't have time for this now. "It's okay," I said quickly, planning on talking to him later, but he asked, hopefully, "Friends, then?"

I nodded. "Friends."

Jasper beamed, and I ran full speed out of the school, and got into his car.

I drove high speed down the narrow lanes and when I reached my house, I was horrified to see that I was right- the back door was wide open, and Esme's car was parked outside.

My heart thudding painfully in my chest, I ran upstairs, two stairs at a time. Only when I saw the open attic door did I realize that I should have brought a weapon of some sort with me. But it was too late to turn back, and I stormed inside the attic. The first thing I noticed was Eddie Masen, standing in front of the ornate mirror. His expression had been a sadistically cruel one, but as soon as he saw me, it turned into one of dismay. And then I noticed the identical reflections in the mirror. Right behind Eddie Masen, aka Tobias's reflection stood a defeated looking Edward. At the sight of his face, my erratically beating heart went suddenly still, then started fluttering faster than ever. His expression turned to one of panic as he saw me, and he started yelling something- I couldn't hear what since he was in the mirror, but the motions he made with his hands made me realize that he was asking me to go away.

"Go away, Bella," Tobias said harshly. "You're hallucinating."

"Oh, really? And how do you know that I'm even seeing anything other than you? I know everything, Tobias. I've been so stupid, but I've realized everything. I don't have any darn schizophrenia. What I don't understand is why you waited this long to come here. Why-"

"Because I really do love you! Because I wanted you to love me too! Because I thought that if I made you care for me and quietly destroyed Edward, then you wouldn't notice it!"

I was silent for a moment, shocked.

"If you really love me, Tobias, you would never try to destroy the man I love. You'd want my happiness no matter what."

He sighed. "Then…" he sounded bitter, and resigned. "Then maybe I don't love you all that much. But I do want you, Bella. Please, just leave and forget all about this. We could have a happy ending, Bella."

"Don't you get it? I don't want a happy ending with you!"

At that, he expression hardened. Then suddenly, the air became colder and the attic door suddenly snapped shut and locked itself, as though by… magic. Magic used by Tobias. Suddenly I realized just how helpless I was, as I watched him move towards the mirror. The only thing I could think to do was to keep him talking, so that he would forget about destroying Edward.

"Carlisle, Emmett, Alice- they're in on this? They're helping you?"

He laughed out loud- a harsh, cold sound which chilled me to the very bone. "Are you crazy? Of course not! The poor psycho doctor really thinks you have schizophrenia… Emmett thinks I told him about loving you because I'm close to him, when the real reason I told him is because I knew he couldn't keep a secret. I wanted you to know it, it was part of my plan."

"Getting adopted by a family who lived near my Mom was a part of your plan too?"

He just smiled. "Oh, Bella, Bella. Where can I start if I really begin to explain things to you? First of all, you should know that what's funny is that what led me to this point is mostly a long list of fateful coincidences. Getting adopted by the Masen's- coincidence. Well, mostly. Them wanting to adopt me was a coincidence. You see, I left this house to Tanya Cullen, my niece, with the request that she never sell it. She's rather old now, and ran into financial difficulties- medical bills. She was Edward's cousin, actually. She died a few months ago. Anyway, I always kept my eye on her. When I heard that she might sell this house to a Charlie Swan, I had to take precautions. So I did what anybody would do- I googled Charlie Swan. A paper article praising the police chief of Forks mentioned his ex wife, Renee. Which led to me finding information about Renee, and I got to know where she lived. I hoped that someone from Forks would offer to adopt me, but no one did. So when the Masen's, who lived in the same area as Renee, asked if I wanted to live with them, I jumped at the chance.

I usually run away from adoptive families after about three years. By then, I would have screwed all the girls I want in the area, and gathered all the plants and other things I need for potions. What I love about this body is the ability to get girls. I was bad looking as a boy, but most girls can't resist how I look now- Edward wasted it," he said, glancing at Edward contemptuously. "The next family were the Masen's, as I already told you. I was nice to them- I'm always nice to the family till the very end- though I planned to screw Alice before I left. It was when I was living with them that my spells I had placed on the mirror informed me that someone had contacted Edward. From that moment, I pleaded for us to move to Forks. Coincidence number two- Renee being our neighbor. I hadn't expected that, even if I did know that she lived in the area. It was because of me that she became friendly with our family- I was the one who insisted on her joining every occasion. And I did send you a request in face book, under a different name and a different profile picture- the name and picture being of an old kindergarten friend of yours named Billy. Renee told me about him. I changed my name and picture later to shock you. I never acted in any play- I remembered what Edward had been wearing, and made an outfit similar to that using magic.

Lucky coincidence number three- Carlisle making you believe that you had schizophrenia. I thought, after that, I could definitely get you. But you know what, Bella? It doesn't matter now. It would be great if you were with me, but even if you aren't going to be with me, I'll have to destroy the mirror. I kept it for this long thinking that I'd figure out some other use for it, but I realized that it's too dangerous anyway." with that, he started turning towards the mirror again, so I asked, "What about the pictures? Emmett said you had baby pictures."

"Photos of a distant relative, made even more like me by magic."

"But- but-"

"But nothing, Bella. There's nothing more left to say. Except that it's obvious that luck and even God has been on my side." With that, he moved swiftly towards the mirror, and before I could do anything, gave it a huge push. The last thing I saw before it toppled over was Edward's beautiful eyes, and then the mirror broke into a thousand pieces, destroying Edward, and breaking my heart along with it.

**Okay, just in case I confused every body again- Bella is not crazy. At all. She has never hallucinated anything. Carlisle misdiagnosed her and she believed him. And Edward Masen IS Tobias. He knew the truth all along. If anybody is still confused, tell me, I'll PM you. Once again, Edward Cullen, the one in the mirror, is real. I lied to you guys in the previous authors notes, (uh, sorry about that, just wanted to surprise you) but this is the truth. And everybody who understood without me telling, please don't think I'm being paranoid- two reviewers mentioned being somewhat confused.**

**AspiringInstrumentalist- Um. Okay. I know this probably made you dislike the story and maybe even me, but this was what I had planned from the beginning. I can't change it now. Tobias was just meant to mess up her head. Thank you for your review.**

**Everybody, maybe this seems like a confusing story with way too many twists. But, I repeat, it was what I had planned from the beginning and I can't change it now. Sorry if I disappointed everyone. By the way, the twists are over now. There will be no more twists. And I know some people liked the idea of him being a hallucination but I did mention magic in the summary, and the beginning of the first chapter. Again, I apologize for any disappointments. I know there are a lot more things to be explained, but don't ask about the obvious things- I will explain them in the upcoming chapters. **

**JackieAragon- well, regarding your review for the last chapter, in that chapter, Carlisle had misdiagnosed Bella as a schizophrenia patient. She thought he was right, and thought that Edward Cullen (mirror Edward) wasn't real, that he was a hallucination. But this chapter revealed that he's not- he's actually real. Edward Masen (the Edward who is outside) is not the real Edward, he's Tobias. Mirror Edward is the real Edward. Thank you for praising my story and adding it to your favorites. And thank you so much for your review. I hope I cleared your confusion. If not, feel free to ask me again.**

**goldeyedsoul- thank you for calling the chapter great, so are you! Thank you for reviewing.**

**123D123D- um, I really hope you don't mind this twist. Thank you so much for your review, love ya!**

**Kingbez30- Thank you so much for praising the story and your encouragement… and for loving my writing… I love you! Happy new year to you too…**

**vivx-chan- hope you don't mind the twist… thank you for your review :-)**

**StrawberryMopet- wow, thank you for your lovely review… and for calling my story original :-)**

**- thank you for loving my story, I love you! Xxxxx**

**FYInichole- thank you for calling it amazing, so are you! Well, maybe it does seem like that- sorry if it does. I know you're talking about the scene where he sees her wounds. I kind of did that on purpose, to show the difference between Tobias and Edward. Edward would have done anything to make her stop, whereas Tobias wouldn't. (I'm not trying to say that what Edward did was right- maybe it was too extreme, I don't know. But I was just trying to show the difference.) thank you again for your review :-)**

**star-night-love14- you were right about it coming soon. Thank you for reviewing and calling it a good chapter :-)**

**Randoms1- happy new year! Hope you didn't mind the twist… **

**mrs. erwin- OMG you cried! That is the best reaction I've ever had and it's so touching! I can't tell you how much that means to me that my story could cause that reaction in someone. Thank you so much for your review, it was really special. I love you!**

**MissVampireCullen- Don't worry about repeating it, it'll never get old! I'll always love it when you love the chapter. Happy New Year to you too!**

**xXKbearXx- thank you for your lovely review… I loved it, and I love you!**

**AlleyjandroJacobie- thank you so much for your review and loving the story. Love you…**

**LovelyLovelyLovely- Happy New Year to you too, hope you didn't mind the twist *bites nails***

**one2love- thank you for liking the last chapter and for loving the story. And thank you for not giving up on it… love you!**

**twilight-vamp-sis- thank you so much for your review and for loving the story… I hope you don't mind this chapter :-)****… love you!**

**Color me Red- thank you so much for your lovely review, and for putting it on your alert and favorite lists. I hope you didn't mind the twist… love you, and Happy New Year :-)**

**Princess Alara- thank you for your lovely review and for liking the chapter. Also, I'm really really glad that you hoped mirror Edward not being there when she and Renee came was some trick and that she's not crazy, because what you hoped for is the truth :-)****. yay!**

**You're welcome… I'll read the Hunger Games as soon as I find it. Happy New Year! **

**ReneeGoetz- Happy New Year! Really really hope you don't mind the twist…**

**Monstergirl245- you know now why I didn't change the summary. Thank you so much for your review, love you!**

**A Little Nobody- thank you for liking that chapter and for loving the story… love you!**

**Robsten Lover 223- Thank you for calling it amazing and super great and for reviewing… please review this chapter too…**

**Everyone, ****please**** review!**

**Oh, and I think I promised everyone about there not being any time skips anymore. I can't really remember if I said that, but if I did, sorry for breaking it. I could tell that promises are meant to be broken, but then that's so cliche. Normally I'm not such a liar and promise breaker in real life, though. I guess this is your cue to run after me to kill me for lying about Edward... *runs away* **


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer- I only own the plot. Everything else belongs to S. Meyer. **

**This chapter is dedicated to MissVampireCullen.**

**CHAPTER 17**

Has anyone you love ever died right in front of you? Or has something like that- something which shocked you due to its irreversibility, happened to you, in front of your eyes? If it has, you would know that there is a long second in time, right after it happens, you just try your best and wait- wait for the universe to right itself. Because you truly believe that something so terrible just can't happen to you- it just can't.

I experienced that second right after the mirror broke. I waited for something, anything to happen, and for Edward to get back to life. Then that second passes, and you realize that the worst thing that could happen has happened, and all you can do is scream and cry.

The man I loved more than myself had been cold bloodedly killed right in front of me, after I had ignored him for a month. He had probably died not even knowing that I loved him, not knowing the reason for my not visiting. And the man that killed him was laughing before me.

I regarded the laughing form of Tobias, and a hatred was born within me. An unquenchable desire for revenge. Yes, he was much stronger than me, not to mention that he knew magic, but I had one great advantage- I didn't care now whether I lived or died, and he did. I snatched the biggest shard of the mirror, and dug it into his chest, and pulled it away.

In the end, I think my biggest advantage was the element of surprise. To tell the truth, I think I surprised even myself. He was still laughing when the shard hit him, and he looked more shocked than pained as he fell to the floor, lifeless.

As soon as I took a look at his dead body, the blood pouring from the gash in his chest, I felt horrified. It had been more than justified, but still, I had killed a man. And it hadn't helped anything. Remorse filled me, and I had to clutch my mouth to stop myself from throwing up. If I went to hell, how would I meet Edward? And would I ever be able to forgive myself for killing another person, no matter how bad he was? Would I ever really be able to live, for that matter, knowing that Edward had been real, and that I had lost him forever? But could I really regret killing the man who killed Edward? I realized a part of me approved of what I had done.

But it didn't really matter. Nothing mattered now. I would probably be arrested for murder, or sent to an insane asylum, but I just couldn't bring myself to care. My life would be a prison anyway, without Edward, like it had been the past month. So when I saw a flicker of movement in the corner of my eye, I didn't really look at once. But I slowly turned my eyes to the corpse, and was frozen in shock. Tobias's T-shirt had been torn open by the wound I had inflicted, so now I had a clear view to what was happening. The blood soaked T-shirt was getting lighter, because the blood was slowly seeping back inside the wound, inside his body. And I just stood there, powerless, because what could I do to stop magic? Once all the blood was back inside him, the flesh slowly sealed itself back together, till he looked as though he had never been wounded. And slowly, his eyes began to open, and he stood up, looking at me. He looked just as shocked as me, but seemed to be recovering quickly. Tobias was resurrected.

He would kill me. It was only natural, since technically, I had killed him. But I was as good as dead anyway, and I couldn't bring myself to care. I just stood there, not bothering to defend myself. I noticed that the blood encrusted shard from the mirror, which I had dug into his chest, was now trembling like crazy. More magic. Who were Edward and I to fight with magic, anyway? It was a fight we should have known that we wouldn't win.

"Bella?" Tobias croaked out. He almost sounded like someone who had forgotten how to use his voice. I didn't bother replying, didn't bother even looking at him. I just stared at the floor, because now all the shards had started trembling crazily. He probably wouldn't be able to kill me the same way I killed him. The shards suddenly started slowly moving towards each other. It was creepy, so I looked away, and looked at Tobias. And something, I don't know what, inside me stirred. And then he spoke.

"It's me Edward, Bella."

In that second, everything seemed to halt. Even the shards seemed to stop moving, and the only thing making a sound was my crazy heart. And then I broke the moment, taking a step towards him.

"No," I whispered disbelievingly.

"I am, Bella."

I kept my eyes locked in his beautiful green ones which seemed to hold a world of emotions locked in them. "Prove it," I challenged brokenly, wishing it was true.

"How?" he seemed even more broken than me, if that was possible.

"What's my favorite color?"

"Blue."

"What was the birthday present you gave me?"

"My old copy of Wuthering Heights."

"What do you usually call me?"

"Love, or… my Bella."

"What do I usually call you?"

"Edward, or… baby."

"Whom do I love more than anyone in the world?"

His confidence suddenly faltered, and he looked brokenly at the ground. "I… don't know."

I closed the distance between us, and threw my arms around him and pulled him to me. I buried my face in his chest and asked him, my voice muffled, "What do you mean you don't know, baby? It's you. How could it be anyone else?"

He didn't answer, so I pulled my face away from him to look into his eyes. He refused to meet my eyes, looking at the ground. When he finally talked, he mumbled, "You didn't come to see me, without giving me an explanation, for God knows how long, Bella. I…"

"I had a reason!"

He nodded. It wasn't accusing- he just looked defeated and hopeless. I would have liked it better had he been accusing, like last time. But that had been only for a day. This was a month.

His eyes finally met mine, and his mouth curved in a tiny, but happy smile. "I love you, Bella."

And for the first time in a month, I smiled.

"If you want more proof that this is me," he said, looking some thing behind me and turning me to face it, "look at that."

I gasped in surprise at seeing that the mirror had pieced itself together once again- it looked as though it had never been broken. But what was really shocking was the man inside the mirror. He was standing away from our reflections. It was Tobias, in his real body- he was very, very old, hunched, frail and dying. I would have felt sorry for him but for the hatred evident in his cataract riddled eyes.

"What- how?" I asked Edward, careful not to look at the reflection of my eyes, lest I blink and end up inside the mirror.

"What happened after he broke the mirror?" Edward asked.

"I… stabbed him in the chest with a shard from the mirror. He died, and then his wounds healed and he became… you."

Edward nodded, looking a bit confused. "I guess some spell of his back fired when you killed him using the mirror. That must have made him go in there, and me go inside my real body. About the healing… well maybe he had magical spells to heal himself or…"

"He was immortal! Remember, what he wrote in that journal? He said that he had to renew the spell yearly to remain immortal and forever 17! This year…"

"This year," he said softly, "my body won't be subjected to that spell, and I'll grow up, like a normal 17 year old, after the last spell wears off- which it will sometime this year."

We both turned to look back at Tobias. "The same thing that he did to you happened to him," I told Edward.

"No, worse."

"What do you mean?"

"he's dying now. But he can't actually die, because he's a reflection now, so he can't change. But he feels the pain of dying, and he'll be feeling it forever."

A wave of pity washed over me despite myself. It was a plight I wouldn't wish on anybody. I caught Tobias's eyes, and understood the words he desperately mouthed- break the mirror. Being destroyed was better than his plight, and that was what he wanted. I could tell that he was just asking, though, that he didn't really expect either one of us to do it, because for that, we would have to forgive him. I knew Edward understood the words Tobias had mouthed, too. We gave each other one look, then stepped forward and pushed the mirror, and watched it break for the third and last time of its life.

"I'll clean up later," I said. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I didn't want Edward to even touch the parts of that mirror. Edward just nodded. "About my not-"

I was interrupted by the shrill sound of the doorbell and someone pounding on the door. It was a very different sound from James's ominous knocking that didn't even normally reach the attic. This sort of knocking just couldn't be ignored. I groaned, and pulled the attic door open, stepping out. I had walked a few steps when I realized that Edward wasn't following me. I turned around to see him at the threshold of the door, gazing at his surroundings, drinking it all in, like a man who had landed on the moon, and was loving every minute of it. I smiled at his expression, despite feeling sad that he had been cooped up for so long. Before I could say anything, though, the pounding at the door continued, with even more ferocity than before.

I rushed downstairs, him following more slowly, but when I put my hand on the key, Edward asked, "Are you sure that opening that is a good idea?"

"Yeah," I said, grinning. "'cause I have a pretty good idea who it is…" I turned the key in the lock, and the door swung open to reveal that my guess was right- it was Emmett. Behind him stood Rose, Alice and Jasper.

"I can't believe you guys did that to us!" was the first thing Emmett shouted. "You," he said, pointing to Edward, "Took our car, and you," now pointing to me, "took Jasper's. And Rose didn't bring her one to school, so we had to walk all the way! So you better give us something nice to eat…"

I smirked. "Walking a bit won't kill you, Em."

"Oh my God! She's smiling!" Alice squealed, and pulled me into a hug. The rest of them suddenly looked really thrilled, too, Emmett even silently pumping his fist in the air, which made me wonder- had my not smiling affected them that much? I guess it had, and I felt a bit guilty.

All of us piled into the kitchen, along with a very confused looking Edward. I felt bad about that- but Emmett's insistent knocking had left no room for explanations. I could only hope that he wouldn't call someone by the wrong name. I sent him an apologetic look, but he just flashed a reassuring smile. I piled some left over lasagna from last night onto some plates, and handed them over to Jasper and Emmett- the girls refused.

"So Edward," Emmett began conversationally, "how did you get that big hole in your T-shirt?"

"It, uh… got caught in a nail."

"Some nail," Rose said, looking a tad suspicious. She shot me a look. "So why'd the two of you drive down here?"

"Yeah, you could have just used the locker room," Em snickered. I felt my face turn red. He thought we had rushed here to make out? But then I realized that he was just joking. My blush, though, probably made it look even more suspicious.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, dude," Jasper said, while Rose smacked him. "Seriously, though," Rose asked, "why?"

"He left his lit. book in my room," I improvised, "and he called me when he couldn't find it."

"That was the big emergency?" Jasper drawled out. Rose suddenly narrowed her eyes, a smile beginning to tug at her lips. The others were trying hard not to smile, too, I noticed. Great. Now they really thought we had come here to make out. I ignored their looks, and continued. "And then once we were here, we decided to just ditch the whole day 'cause we were bored."

I knew the question they were dying to ask, but before I could say anything, Edward addressed it. "And before you ask, the book is in Bella's room." I couldn't help it- I grinned at him, feeling happier than ever. He was here, and that was all that mattered. I probably looked pretty foolish, but he grinned back looking just as insanely happy as I did.

What brought me to earth was the quickly stifled "aww" that escaped Ali's lips.

I cleared my throat, trying to ignore their smirks. "So," Rose began, obviously trying to save me, "we were planning to go hang out in La Push today, all of us. You guys coming?"

What I really wanted to do was to be alone with Edward, but I figured that he had been stuck in that attic for so long that he probably wanted to go outside. So I nodded my agreement.

We were on top of a cliff in La Push, and Em was being his usual juvenile self, trying to push everyone off. All of us except Rose had jumped at least once. The boys jumped more than us, but every time Edward went along with Emmett and jumped, he ran back up to the cliff as fast as he could, back to my side, almost as though he was scared I would be gone if he got too late to come back. I didn't comment about it, though, because I wanted him near me as much as possible.

I watched the sunset while the boys started to light a fire, as Alice complained of the cold. Edward stood near Jasper's car, leaning against it. The shorts Jasper had given him slung low on his hips, and drops of water glistened on his toned body. His eyes looked the darkest I had ever seen them, and wet locks of auburn hair fell in front of them. As I watched his eyes, I realized that he was checking me out, even though he wasn't being as shameless as me about it. I blushed, knowing that today must have been the first time he saw a girl wearing a swim suit this revealing. I remembered the first time he had seen me in it- we had gone to Rose's house to grab swim suits for us while the boys had gone to Jasper's house to grab shorts for them. I had tried to wear my old one piece, but Ali proclaimed it ugly, so I had been stuck wearing a much more revealing one that belonged to Rose. It hid my stomach, though, and my scars, which I felt so ashamed about now. I was used to everyone seeing the scars on my wrist, so I didn't mind that. Rose and Ali wore bikinis, and I secretly felt jealous for how effortlessly sexy they looked.

When we had removed our clothes by the cliff to reveal our swim suits, Em had whistled. He only had eyes for Rose, of course. I felt so ashamed of my body, until I saw the way Edward was looking at me. His eyes had darkened in lust, and his mouth was hanging slightly open. Emmett had to nudge him to get his attention off me, and when he realized how blatantly he had been staring, he had blushed beet red.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward shook me from my reverie, coming to stand beside me.

"You," I replied simply.

He smiled, and I leaned into his chest.

We hadn't touched each other all day, because we weren't supposed to be a couple. But now I couldn't resist. I put my arms around him, and he snaked his arm around my waist, leaning down to kiss my forehead. I tipped my head backwards, so that he caught my lips instead.

"I knew it!" I heard Ali shout while Em whooped.

"Knew what?" I asked them, disoriented because of how good my Edward looked.

"Of course, I knew it from the time we stepped into her house," Jasper drawled, and Rose nodded.

"Well, we all knew you loved her," Em told Edward, "because you told me. But I knew she liked you too when you guys started hanging out so much together…"

"Yeah," Ali chimed in, "you guys have been practically inseperable the last month-"

"And you saying later when he asked you out, even though you were going through a rough time… I knew you'd get together sooner or later," Em said.

They looked really happy for us, but something had shifted in Edward's expression, and his smile looked strained. He got the wrong idea, I realized as my stomach clenched. I would explain everything tonight, and then he'll be fine.

We were sitting around the fire. It was dark now, and I loved how the night sky looked, with it's sprinkling of stars. The sea rivaled it's beauty, though, in all its splendor. If there was one thing I could never get sick of looking at, it was the sea. Edward, too, seemed to feel the same way. Or maybe he was lost in thought. He looked a bit sad, so I leaned further into his chest. He smiled down at me, and tightened his arms around me.

After a while, he announced, sounding surprised, "I'm hungry." I knew why he was surprised- it was probably the first time in 75 years that he was experiencing hunger.

"So am I," Em said.

"You ate a huge plateful of lasagna!" Rose reminded him, shaking her head.

"Growing boys need food," he countered, sticking out his tongue at her.

"Guys, we should go, even I'm hungry," Alice said, and we all stood up lazily, stretching, watching Emmett turn out the fire.

The ride home was quiet, as all of us were tired. I stepped out of the car, Edward following me. As we walked through the door, though, Emmett shouted, "Dude, what are you doing?"

Edward and I just stared at him, confused.

"You won't have time to get home before curfew if you stay," Em told Edward. "And we have to take the car. Not to mention that Charlie wouldn't want you there at this time."

Home. Crap. Edward wasn't supposed to live with me. "You live with Em," I told him in a quick whisper. He nodded, sighing, and walked back to the car. I felt an irrational sadness tugging at my heart when they drove away, Edward still looking at me, looking lost and sad, but smiling.

AN- well, there won't be any more twists. This isn't over yet, though. Just, the road is pretty much straight from now, with just a few tiny bumps. There will be more explanations about what happened in the chapters to come.

**Light1172- Wow. You're probably the only person who didn't believe even for a minute that she had schizophrenia. Yeah, that would have been cruel.**

**It's okay about you not liking chapter 15, no one was meant to like it, really. Thank you for saying the way I portray Rose and Em is cute, I really like them :-)****.**

**You loved chapter 16! Yay! Please review this chapter too, love you!**

**Kingbez30- It's really good that you like the new twist, thank you so much for reviewing, please review this chapter too…**

**StrawberryMopet- Thank you for your amazing review, and for saying this is one of your favorite stories in FF… love you!**

**- thank you for loving my story, and for reviewing, please review this chapter too…**

**TheAngelOfHope- Yay, you like the way she realized it :-)****! thank you for reviewing…**

**xXKbearXx- I loved your reaction! Thank you for reviewing, love you!**

**mimu101- thank you for loving my story and for your great review, I'd love it if you could review every chapter :-)**

**liz- I didn't destroy him :-)****… **

**Kirstofferson- thank you for loving the story… good that you were surprised… I'm actually writing soon because then I wouldn't have much to write when I go to college, it starts soon. ****but I would have updated the last few chapters fast anyway, because, like you said, I didn't want anyone to hate me for too long, lol. Thank you for reviewing, love you!**

**monkeejunkee- You should read the review you submitted for chapter 13 again. You were right about everything, lol! You even said that Tobias will get people to think she's crazy! I lied in an authors note and said you were wrong, I think, just so I could surprise you, ha ha! I'm evil like that. Thank you for loving it and for reviewing as usual, love you!**

**Princess Alara- loved your review! I would never kill Edward, I hate bad endings. Even I find it hard to spell Stephenie Meyer, that's why I always call her S. Meyer in my disclaimers, lol. Wow, that is seriously the best compliment I've ever received! I don't think it's true, but it did make me jump up and down in joy! Maybe I might write something like that, but I haven't decided yet. Hope you have a great year, love you, and thank you for the awesome review!**

**LovelyLovelyLovely- I hope this one makes up for it…**

**123D123D- it's great that you didn't mind… I think this chapter answered your questions… thank you for reviewing, love you!**

**star-night-love14- Thank you for loving it and for reviewing, love you!**

**vivx-chan- Really glad that you don't mind the twist… thank you for reviewing, please review this chapter too! **

**AlleyjandroJacobie- Lol. Sorry it's a bit confusing, but I think you've figured everything out right. As for your questions, I think this chapter answered them… thank you for reviewing, love you!**

**loyal-girl4- Why? Well, I hope you'll have something to say about this chapter…**

**randoms1- Edward didn't die :-)****. Thank you for reviewing, please review this chapter too…**

**Lyndzie- Seriously it was like shutter island? Wow, thanks! I loved your review. Please review this chapter too… love you!**

**darkgoddess48- I think this chapter answered your question. Thank you for reviewing, hope you review this chapter too!**

**Jendenise0901- Thank you for loving my story… Your question will be answered by Edward in an upcoming chapter. Thank you for reviewing, love you!**

**twilight-vamp-sis- Thank you for your lovely review and for liking the twists… please review this chapter too, love you!**

**MissVampireCullen- yay, you like the twists and that Edward isn't a hallucination! Thank you for the great review, love you! Btw, Rob looks hot in your new pic, too, but not as much as he did in your old one. Hope you liked the dedication :-)****… **

**one2love- Yay, you liked the chapter! Thanks for reviewing, please review this chapter too…**

**ReneeGoetz- I think this chapter answered your question. And now that he's alive, you don't think I'm cruel anymore, right? I just can be evil sometimes ;-), but not enough to kill Edward. **

**AspiringInstrumentalist- Yay, you don't hate me! You're welcome… Thank you for reviewing, please review this chapter too…**

**JackieAragon- You're welcome, thank you for calling the chapter great, so are you! **

**basoom- thank you for loving it, and it's great that you don't find it confusing… love you!**

**Monstergirl245- yeah, I probably shouldn't have lied… it's great that you loved the twists, though… love you!**

**Robsten Lover 223- thank you so much for calling it super great, love you! **

**Everyone, ****please**** review! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer- the plot belongs to me. everything else belongs to S. Meyer. Everyone knows that, anyway. Why do we have to write these stupid disclaimers?**

**This chapter is dedicated to every single person who has this story on their favorites list. Thank you, and I love you all!**

**CHAPTER 18**

I sat on the living room sofa, staring at the window, willing for Esme's car to slide into view. The clock informed me that it would be several minutes before they got here, but I refused to acknowledge it.

I had had a hard time getting to sleep last night, what with wondering how Edward was coping. He didn't know the simple things that Tobias knew- he wouldn't even know what his room was. And as many modern novels as he had read, I had seen how much the cars, and even the fridge had surprised him yesterday. He didn't say anything about it, and I knew that he was smart enough not to ask anything from the Masen's, but how could anyone not notice? Not to mention the fact that his behavior was different from Tobias's. He was much less quiet, was into totally different things…

And I missed him. I had wasted so much time thinking he wasn't real, and now that I knew he was, I just wanted to spend every second of my time with him. We hadn't really spent any time together alone after destroying Tobias.

And after spending most of the night worrying about everything, I had fallen asleep at around 4 AM, which the shadows under my eyes bore evidence to. And that made me annoyed with myself, because I wanted to look the best I could for Edward. A tiny part of me couldn't help feeling a bit insecure as now I wasn't his only option- he was out in the real world, which contained much better looking girls than me.

Their car finally pulled up in front of the house. Normally Emmett had to honk a few times till I got out of the house, but today I was out of the house before he could even touch the horn. I felt my face break into a broad smile as soon as I saw Edward. He grinned back at me, and got down to open the car door for me. I blushed, unused to such gallantry, and climbed in, followed by him. The others didn't comment about it, though it had caused some raised eyebrows yesterday because Tobias never did it.

Alice, who normally rode in the backseat with me was riding shot gun today, and I loved riding to school, leaning against Edward, holding his hand.

After we reached school, though, Emmett pulled me away, motioning for the others to go ahead without us.

"What's up?" I asked, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice. And just as I had suspected, he asked, "What's up with Edward?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's acting so weird! He keeps acting like he's lost in his own house, and once when I asked him to put the pasta in the microwave to heat it up, I came to find the pasta in the dish washer!"

It was with supreme effort that I refrained from laughing out loud.

"Why did you guys have to heat it up?" I asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

"Mom was having dinner with a client. But that's not the point!"

"He was obviously joking around, Em! Chill out, would you?"

"Well, afterwards he did act like it was meant to be a joke. But you know Edward, he never jokes. And it wasn't just that- you know how much he loves the nickname Eddie, right? Well, now he apparently hates it!"

"I told him I didn't like the name Eddie," I lied smoothly, hoping he'd ignore the fact that I had been the only one who called Tobias that. "And maybe he's just joking around 'cause he's happier… quit reading so much into it, Em, you usually never do, and let's go, we're getting late now."

He shrugged, with a quiet "maybe." I knew he wasn't fully convinced, but it would have to do.

I walked up to Edward, who was staring, confused, at the row of lockers. He looked relieved as soon as he saw me.

"I suppose Emmett was talking to you about the dinner fiasco," he commented ruefully. I grinned, I couldn't help it. "Yeah. I suppose the pasta would have been more hygienic- since it was washed and all."

He cracked a smile, and shook his head at me. "So that thing was for cleaning…"

"dishes."

He sighed. "We had to order Chinese."

"Hey," I said, nudging him, "don't feel too bad about it. It's not like you could help it. Besides, I think it was cute."

He raised an eye brow. "You thinking me being an idiot was cute?"

"Yeah, kind of…" I giggled at his incredulous expression. I then walked to my locker, and he watched closely as I dialed the combination, muttering the numbers for his benefit.

"4- 1- 1- 2," he said. "easy."

"Actually, not that easy. We have to find out Tobias's combination, and we'll have to sneak into the principal's office for that."

"Oh."

He then brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen onto my eyes, his hand lingering a second longer than needed. I leaned into it, revelling at it's warmth, and he leaned down to kiss me. I loved how his lips felt- so warm, soft and full as I traced them with my tongue, and the feeling of the stubble on his cheeks when I cupped his face in my hands. When the kiss ended, much to my disappointment, I informed him- "You have stubble."

He nodded. "It feels so weird now, because I'm not used to it."

"I think it's sexy." the words slipped from my tongue before I could stop them, and I blushed. He just laughed, and said, "now I'm in danger of never wanting to shave again…"

"Ew, don't- I hate beards!" even though he could probably pull off a beard too, I thought to myself.

The bell rang just then, making me groan.

"I think you have physics first period," I told him. "because the physics class room is next to the biology one, and me and Tobias used to walk together to our respective classes every Tuesday morning…"

Edward's smile disappeared. I just figured that he was nervous because we wouldn't be together.

"You'll probably be lost, but you just ask me about the confusing parts later, we'll figure it out."

Once I had pointed out his class room and was about to enter mine, he told me softly, "I love you."

I felt the familiar warmth in my gut whenever he said that, but I wasn't able to reply as my Biology teacher, Mr. Banner, chose that moment to arrive, making me go inside along with him.

"Try the other drawer," I whispered to Edward, fingering through the files in my hands. We were in the principal's office looking for Tobias's file so that we could find his schedule and combination, but so far we hadn't been successful, and the principal could come in any time.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, "got it! Look how weird Tobias looks in this picture…"

"That's technically your face, you know," I smirked at him, at which he stuck his tongue out at me. That was so unusual for Edward I burst out laughing. He tickled me, then laughed as I squirmed, stuffing the needed papers into his pocket.

"You think you're gonna get away with that?" I asked him, hands on my hips.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do," he smirked.

"Beg for mercy!" I told him, jumping at him, tickling him. But I was the one who ended up squealing on the floor as he tickled me. "Stop!" I squealed, and he obliged, and started to stand up, after giving me a quick peck on the lips, still smirking. I tugged his jacket, and his eyes widened as he fell back on top of me, and then we just stared at each other, brown eyes locked into green. I let out a soft, contented sigh as his lips met mine, completely forgetting where I was. And that was when we heard the office door open. My face paled as I saw Ms Hoffman.

"You… you!" she stuttered, her face turning redder by the second. Both of us tried to stand up at the same time, and ended up falling back down, tangled in each other. I waited till Edward got up, then got up quickly, smoothing down my hair. Edward's hair stood out in all directions.

"You dare use my room for…" she was too angry to finish the sentence, and her face was purple now. "Detention! Get out, now!" she hissed, and we quickly obeyed, Edward trying to smooth down his hair- a humanely impossible task.

We reached my locker in silence. Then Edward said, "her face…" and suddenly we were both laughing, clutching our stomachs, till tears streamed down my face. It wasn't even that funny, it was just that the world felt so right and perfect, after a long time. I was just so insanely happy.

I pulled open my locker, and started searching through the mess for my lit. book. After a while, I turned to smile at him, but caught the eye of James. He gave me an innocent look as usual, and I ignored him. "Who's that?" Edward asked.

"James," I said, and we shared a look. Then I turned to commence my search. I found it underneath an old English book, and was about to close the door when I realized that Edward was no longer by my side. He was walking towards James casually, who was walking ahead. I thought that maybe James had dropped something and Edward was about to return it when he tapped James's shoulder in the same casual manner.

James turned around expectantly, smiling. And then Edward punched him in the jaw.

James fell back, looking shocked out of his good guy act. "What the hell was that for?" he gasped.

"For hurting my Bella," Edward said simply, pulling him up by the collar, and punching him again.

Edward couldn't have picked a worse time for a fight- Laurent was with James, and Emmett and Jasper were no where to be seen. "Don't hurt him!" I yelled, running towards them, as Laurent aimed a blow at Edward.

Edward took the blow in his stride and then the three of them were tumbling on the floor together, one bloody, sprawling mess. I tried to kick the other two, but they were too fast for me to do it without hurting Edward. After a while, Laurent just backed away, bleeding, looking like he had had enough. Now a bloodied Edward had the upper hand in the fight, even though he looked far more wounded than the other two. He pummeled blows to James, hissing, "If you," a blow to James stomach, "Ever," a blow to his jaw, "touch," a blow to his nose, which was obviously broken. "Bella," a blow to the underside of his jaw, "or hurt," a blow to his cheek, "any girl again," Edward grabbed James by the shirt and pushed him against the row of lockers, "I'll personally make sure you end up in prison. And if I can't do that, I'll kill you. Got it?" James just nodded, terrified.

And Edward let go of him, and walked towards me, parting the crowd which had gathered. Nearly every inch of his face and arms was covered in cuts and bruises.

"We need to get you to the nurse's office," I told him, leading him by the hand. He just nodded.

"Have you ever hit anyone before?" I asked him, eyeing a cut on his lip anxiously. He shook his head no.

"Thank you," I told him softly, tears filling my eyes. "You didn't have to do that."

"Are you kidding?" he asked. "I've been wanting to do that ever since you told me about him!"

I just smiled through my tears, and pulled him into my arms.

"Ow!" he hissed.

"Sorry," I said, realizing I had probably pressed a wound. He just grinned and said, "it's okay, love."

"I love you," I told him.

"I love you too."

**AN- Everyone, MissVampireCullen has written a twilight fic named There is more to me, and you guys HAVE to check it out, it's so amazing and addictive! by the way, all the stories I've mentioned in my AN's are in my favorites list.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. Please review this chapter too, you guys are my inspiration.**

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	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer- only the plot belongs to me. The rest belongs to S. Meyer.**

**This chapter is dedicated to 123D123D, AspiringInstumentalist, avenue13, Color me Red, Demi-Bella-Twihard, Esmereldaxcam, Jenox2009, Kingbez30, MissVampireCullen, Princess Alara, RAINBOW HEADBAND LOVES GLEE, and Solange. Daughter of Night. Thank you to all of you for putting me on your favorite authors list! **

**CHAPTER 19**

I was waiting in front of the chemistry lab for Edward and the others to come out. The next period was lit., which we had together.

I thought about detention yesterday. The teacher had made sure- probably after being asked by Ms Hoffman- that we sat in opposite ends of the class room, so we hadn't been able to talk. We had communicated via looks, though, and he had made me another one of those paper roses. Renee was nuts- I had dabbled with origami as a kid, but I had never been able to make anything that beautiful, and I certainly couldn't remember it now.

After detention, I had had to go for my appointment with Carlisle, which I had no idea how to get out of. Obviously I wasn't taking the medication anymore- I had no problems and was perfectly fine, but Carlisle thought otherwise, so the entire visit was pretty pointless and full of my lies to him. I wasn't mad at Carlisle for his misdiagnosis, though- obviously anyone in his position would have had the same reaction to the story I told. Besides, I liked Carlisle, and he had helped me come to terms with what James had done to me.

Finally people began pouring out of the classroom. When Emmett came out alone, I asked, "Hey, where's Edward?"

"He's ditching."

"What?"

For some reason, Edward just didn't seem to be the type of guy who ditched classes for no reason. "Why?"

Emmett shrugged. "I don't know. He only went to his first class yesterday, he ditched everything after that. And he didn't go for any classes today- I know because I'm in most of his classes, and when I asked him about it, he admitted it." seeing my face, he added, "told you he wasn't acting like himself."

"Do you have any idea where he is?"

"He mentioned something about the music room…"

"I'll go look for him, then. Thanks, Em."

"No problem… want me to come with you?"

"Not really…"

He just winked, turning it into something else like he always did. I shook my head at him, and started walking towards the music room.

I heard him before I saw him- a song was being played on the piano. It was unfamiliar, but I could recognize it as his. I wanted it to end, though, not because it wasn't beautiful- it was, but it was also hauntingly sad, so much so that I felt like crying. I softly opened the door. The music room was huge, and he was sitting at a grand piano, with his back towards me. He stopped playing and turned around, standing up, as soon as I came in, though.

"Hey," he said, smiling a little. There was an inscrutable expression on his face, though, when he stopped smiling.

"Hey. New song?"

He nodded.

"it's nice. Kind of sad, though."

He shrugged. "Thanks." What was with the mono syllabolic answers?

"So… why are you ditching?"

Another shrug. I was getting frustrated now.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

I walked up to him. Close up, I could see the shadows under his eyes. "Come on, baby," I pleaded, reaching out to him. "Just tell me what's wrong…"

"I told you it's nothing! It's quite stupid, really."

"Tell me anyway."

"I'm ditching because I don't understand anything in any class- science is so much more advanced than it was in our time, and we didn't even study it in schools then. And the teachers… I'm afraid my cover will blow if I'm not up to par with the other kids. Besides, Tobias's schedule isn't really working for me anyway- he hasn't taken up any classes that really interest me, except for lit."

"This is our lit. period."

"I forgot- I'd have gone if I knew. Shall we go now, then?" he asked, without any real interest.

"Okay, what's really wrong?"

"What do you mean? I just told you the deal with school."

"But that's not what's really bothering you, is it?" I asked, taking a step closer to him, while he took a step back. "Tell me, please."

I thought he was going to deny it again, but he suddenly muttered, "I wish I was back in the mirror sometimes."

"What? Why?"

"Or maybe I don't… I don't know… I just wish I could turn time back to about a month ago, I guess- forget it, I'm being stupid." he then grinned at me, but it looked a bit forced.

"Why?"

He just shook his head, and after a moment of silence, he said softly, "Because you actually wanted to be with me then."

"What do you mean? I want to be with you now, too!"

He sighed. "I don't know, Bella. Sometimes I feel like you're avoiding me… I mean, I don't want to take up all your time, but those days we used to spend much more time together. And then you forget me for a month, which is okay, I understand you were busy and didn't want to be with someone stuck in a mirror but now I'm outside, and still the only chance I get to spend some time alone with you is when we sneak inside the principal's office! I know you want to be with your friends, and I like them too, but it's been so long since we had some time alone! If you do really love me, shouldn't you want that too? And yesterday Emmett said something… actually yesterday wasn't the first time he mentioned it… Tobias loved you, apparently. And sometimes I can't help but feel that maybe you had feelings for him too, and maybe you just did what you felt was the fair thing in taking my side. I know that I'm just being paranoid now, but you asked what was wrong…"

I covered my face with my hands. How could I have been so stupid, thinking everything was perfect, when Edward was so conflicted?

"Edward, I… I never felt anything for Tobias other than friendship! We hung out together all the time, but we were alone only because the other four were going on dates a lot! And he was a really close friend at one point, but he was acting all that time, pretending to be someone he wasn't! he never really loved me even- he must have been attracted to me, but… and I'm really sorry about not telling you earlier, I just didn't get the time- a month ago, I took Renee to the attic to show you to her."

His eyes widened. "She was there because you wanted her to see me?"

I nodded, and he continued. "I hid in the closet as soon as I saw her. I thought she…."

"I guess you didn't see me, then? I was right behind her."

He shook his head no. "Why would you want her to see me?"

Then I told him the entire story, starting from the visit to Carlisle. His first response was- "I can't believe I told you you should go to see Carlisle."

I shook my head. "No, baby, I'm glad you did. He helped me with the James thing."

"You got really close to Tobias, then."

"But he was pretending-"

"Maybe. But he could have destroyed me a long time ago if he didn't try to win your trust along with it."

"Edward, if he loved me, he would never have made me think I had a mental illness- I even took medication for no reason. And when you love a person, you want them to be happy, no matter who they're with. Besides, Tobias was evil to the core- he has even raped girls."

"I know. But sometimes… do you wish that…" he asked, running a hand through his hair, "that the roles were reversed, maybe? That he wasn't the bad guy- that _I _was, so you could be with him?"

At that, I closed the distance between us, and he willingly wrapped his arms around me as I kissed him. "My idiotic Edward," I told him between kisses, "the main reason I believed you were a hallucination is because of how perfect you are for me. We fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, and I love everything about you, even your flaws and foibles, because that's what makes you, you. Loving anyone other than you even for a second just isn't a possibility for me. And I think the only reason I got so close to Tobias is because I wanted him to be like you, I thought he would be as you look the same. But it was proved to me, again and again, that he couldn't be you. No one could."

At that, Edward kissed me like never before, like his whole life depended on the kiss, like this kiss was his first and last. I clung to him, my passion matching his, till we had to come up for breath.

"Wow," I muttered, breathless. "And I thought that speech was cheesy! But if that makes you kiss me like that, I'll repeat it every day of my life!"

He chuckled. "That's a deal."

"Crap, I can't remember how it began," I said seriously, which made him laugh. "I was an idiot," he told me, scratching his head. "I should have talked to you earlier, shouldn't have doubted your love. I'm sorry- will you forgive me?"

"If you promise to tell me every time you've got a problem, without thinking about it on your own."

"I promise."

"Then I forgive you."

"Prove it," he said suddenly, his green eyes sparkling.

"Huh? What? That I forgive you?"

He nodded, a cheeky grin on his face.

I giggled, and closed the piano before sitting on top of it, and pulling him to me so that our lips met again. I felt as though I could spend my whole life that way, enveloped in his warm embrace, his soft lips and rough tongue dancing with mine.

This time, it wasn't the principal who gave us detention, it was the music teacher.

After school and detention, we finally had some time alone together. We went to my house. I was determined to tutor Edward so that he wouldn't have to ditch, and would be able to graduate and go to college. He, too, approved of this plan, mainly as it guaranteed us spending a lot of time together.

I had cleaned up the attic, and we just went to have a look there. Then I led him to my room.

"What shall we start with? Chemistry?" I asked, and he nodded.

I was trying to explain to him what happened when Hcl and NaOH was mixed, when I realized he was staring at me and not what I was showing him.

"Edward…" I said, trying to sound stern, and failing miserably.

"Shall we take a break, then?" I asked.

He answered by kissing me, shoving away the books. Thank God Tobias had been maintaining straight A's in school, I thought, Edward needed them. Charlie was going to be late, and words slipped through my mouth before I could filter them through my brain.

"Alice gave me a packet of condoms," I blurted out. My face flamed at how presuming and crude that sounded, but he didn't seem to mind- he seemed thrilled, in fact. It was then that I remembered how ugly I was now- the scars on my stomach and thighs. I had stopped cutting myself as soon as I got my Edward back, so none of them were fresh. But they were ugly.

"Edward, no," I started to protest, but he had already seen them.

"I don't do it now," I said quickly. "Just… sorry for being so ugly."

He just stared at them, then kissed them, softly. "How can you call yourself ugly, Bella? It's the last thing to describe you. You're perfect. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, outside and inside, and I love every inch of you, including your scars. To quote you, that's what makes you, you. Look at yourself in that mirror, my beautiful Bella. Don't you see what I see? I see a beautiful warrior bearing the scars of a battle won- a battle against depression. I see a beautiful girl with skin as luminous as the moon, with brown eyes full of her love for me. How can you say she's not beautiful?"

I did as he asked, and looked in the mirror. And I smiled through my tears because he was right. I did see that girl when I looked at me, because I was finally seeing myself through his eyes. And I was beautiful. I looked at his liquid emerald eyes in the mirror, and saw the love hidden in their depth.

"Thank you," I told him softly, unbuttoning his shirt. "I love you so much."

**AN- Thank you to everyone who reviewed… everyone, please review this chapter, I love and need your reviews!**

**Princess Alara has written a Hunger Games fic, and you guys really should read it, it's really awesome and addictive… it's called Sun and Moon and I love it.**

**All the explaining about the mirror and Tobias is over after this chapter (don't think this is the end, though, it's not), so if anybody still has questions or is confused about anything that happened, now is the time to ask.**

**I'm really glad that almost everyone seemed to find the last chapter funny, I think it was needed after all the depressing chapters :-)****…**

**Solange. Daughter of Night- OMG, thank you so much for saying that it's your favorite story! It means so much to me… you have no idea how much I loved your review. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much… even my Mom scolds me sometimes for reading more than spending time with the family. Please review this chapter too, love you!**

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**Color me Red- I hope this chapter explained whatever there was left to explain… thank you for calling the chapter great and for reviewing!**

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	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer- The plot belongs to me. Everything else belongs to S. Meyer.**

**AN- sorry that this chapter is short. This is the last chapter. This could be even considered as an epilogue, I suppose. **

**This chapter is dedicated with all my love to every single person who read this story from beginning to end, and liked it. **

**CHAPTER 20**

Two years later

I took a sip from my drink, looking at my watch. I was early, I knew. But it was my first date with him, and being early was better than being late. Or maybe not. Wasn't there some saying about being fashionably late? My mind wandered to the first time he had asked me out- yesterday.

We had both been lying on our bed, cuddled together. I was sleepy after making love, and he was drawing patterns on my cheek with his long fingers.

"Have I ever told you that you have sexy fingers?" I asked him.

"A couple thousand times. But you can say it again if you like," he replied, grinning lazily.

I was just about to drift off to sleep when he suddenly said, "Sam told me he was going to ask Emily out tomorrow."

"Took him long enough," I muttered. Sam was Edward's old roommate. He had lived with Sam for a few months after moving to Washington to go to college. I had been living with Alice then- we go to the same college. My major is English, while Edward's is music. We get together with Em, Rose and Jasper every weekend- they go to a college a little further away from ours. Jasper and Alice are even more in love with each other than they were in high school. Em and Rose are now officially together. At some pleading by me and Em, and even Alice and Edward, she had started going to see Carlisle. It had really helped her, and she was planning to be a psychiatrist one day. She was also slowly getting over her fear of sex.

What had really helped Rosalie was telling everyone about what James had done to her. She had been running for student body president, and had announced it in front of the entire school. She urged other girls who had had similar experiences to come forward, and a girl did. She had been raped by her cousin.

The entire school turned against James after that- they all believed Rose, specially as I had said the same thing about James earlier. I did feel a pang of jealousy that they didn't give her the hard time they gave me, but I was happy, too, that she didn't have to go through anything worse. Almost everyone in school came to me to apologize.

Soon after that, Leah, a girl who went to school in La Push, came to visit me and told me that James had raped her, too. She wanted to stay silent about it- she had just come to me because she wanted to share how broken she felt with some one who had gone through the same thing, but Edward had pleaded with her to come with me and Rose to the police station, as he felt we had enough people to make them believe our story.

We had no idea how word went out about what Edward was pleading Leah to do- we suspected an ex- boy friend of hers for ratting us to James, but James, along with six other friends, caught Edward as he was coming home alone one day, and beat him enough for him to be hospitalized, with the warning that if he didn't stop trying to make Leah admit what happened, the next time he would end up dead.

But even though I begged him numerous times to just forget it, he didn't, especially as James had begun leering at me whenever I passed him in the hall way. No amount of begging from me could stop Edward, and the only thing I could do was make sure that I, along with Emmett and Jasper, went with him wherever he went. Of course, Emmett and Jasper meant Rose and Alice, too, and in the end, Rose played a huge part in convincing Leah to go to the police.

After weeks of pleading and reasoning, we went to the police station to file a case against James. All three of us, and even Edward and Carlisle testified in court against James, and we won. Since James had just turned 18, he was sent to prison.

Soon after that, Edward, thanks to my tutoring and his brains, managed to scrape enough marks not only to graduate, but to go to college as well. He and Emmett slowly became best friends, as well as considering them selves brothers.

Coming back to Sam, Edward's old roommate- Edward had moved out of that apartment to live with me two months after living separately- which in reality meant sleeping together squashed in a single bed meant for one every night, either in my apartment or his.

It was almost a year since we had come to college now, and we were enjoying living together very much.

Sam, now our mutual friend, had been single for a long time because he couldn't muster the courage to ask out the girl of his dreams- Emily.

"Good to know he finally did it," I told, when Edward was silent. "What are you thinking?" I asked him.

"I just realized that we've never been on a date!"

I frowned. "What? We've gone out together alone a ton of times…"

"But neither of us really ever asked the other out, and… you know, it was never official…"

"It doesn't have to be like that to be a date," I told him, sitting up.

"Yes it does," he had insisted. And then- "Isabella Swan, will you go out with me tomorrow?"

Which was why I was sitting here in this ridiculously expensive restaurant that Edward had selected, one hour early. But then I realized that I wasn't the only over eager fool as I spotted a head of messy auburn hair walking in my direction.

"I thought I was early," he said, looking surprised but happy.

I shrugged, not wanting to tell him that if it wasn't for this rather silly date idea, we both would have met about three hours earlier, like we did every day. But no, dates had a time. Which was probably why this was the first time we were going on one. Oh well, at least I had him all to myself now.

"You look amazing," he told me, and I blushed. "You look really great too." He did- enough to make my heart beat faster. Or maybe that was just my natural reaction whenever he was around. But he did look even better than usual- he had obviously made an extra effort- the only benefit of this date. If we were home now, I would pulled him down to the sofa with me, devouring those soft lips…

"Shall we order, then?"

Take your mind out of the gutter, Swan.

I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"So how was your day?" I asked him, after we ordered. He looked nervous for some reason, I wondered why. He kept running his hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his.

"Good," he answered, looking a bit distracted. "It was good."

"This is romantic," I told him, gesturing to the scented candles and the bowl of water with dark red rose petals floating abundantly on top. "The music, too." it was a soft, foreign tune, played on the violin.

Then I leaned towards him, asking in a whisper, "are you sure we can afford this?"

He laughed. "Relax, Bella. I've got it covered."

Dinner was delicious- I had to admit it was another benefit of the date. We shared a strawberry cheese cake for dessert. As he paid the bill (refusing to tell me the amount, which made me suspect that it was a lot) and we stood up, I found myself wishing the evening wasn't over. I had really enjoyed it, despite my previous thoughts about dates. I was debating with myself whether this was better than staying at home with him when Edward surprised me by suddenly dropping to one knee.

Was he going to tie his shoelace? Or was he- I gasped as he pulled out the most beautiful ring I had ever seen- a ruby surrounded by diamonds.

"I love you more than my life, my Bella. And I want to be with you every day of my life, I want to grow old with you. Will you marry me, and make me the happiest man on earth?"

Tears filled my eyes as I looked at his face, looking so nervous, vulnerable, and hopeful.

"Did you even have to ask?" I asked. "Yes!"

His face broke into a delighted grin, and he jumped up. I offered my finger for him to slip the ring on.

"I love you," I told him, kissing him. I vaguely heard the sound of the musician cheering.

Maybe dating wasn't such a bad idea after all. And it was definitely better than staying at home with him.

**AN- I'm sad that this is over. I'm not satisfied with this chapter anyway. I don't have any plans to do a sequel or anything, but that might change, though it's unlikely. If I do put up something connected to this story, however, I'll inform everyone in an AN. **

**Everyone, please review. You might be someone who read this from the beginning, or someone who read it a long time- even years- after this story was over. Whoever you are, please review. It doesn't matter that this is over- I might consider adding chapters or changing minor details if a lot of reviews ask for it, though it won't be anytime soon. But do know that all your reviews will be read over and over again, and loved, and any advice will be heeded in writing any stories in the future. And I will respond to all of them.**

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**KitkatCullen13- I thought you meant that you wanted them to believe her about James raping her. Isn't that what you meant? or was it that you wanted them to know about Edward? only Carlisle and Renee thought Bella had schizophrenia, so I thought it would be unnecessary for everyone to know the truth about that... really hope you like it this way too! love you!**

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